One of the highlights of an altogether dull “early debate” on Thursday came when six out of the seven Republican presidential candidates demonstrated an inability to count to two.
Bill Hemmer, co-moderator of what was variously dubbed the “happy hour” or “kids’ table” debate, reminded the candidates that in 2008 Obama had described Hillary Clinton as “likeable enough” when the two were vying for the Democratic nomination.
So what two words would this gang of B-list (given their failure to make the “real debate” at 9pm) Republican hopefuls apply to their likely opponent, Hemmer asked?
None of the answers were especially revelatory. Or witty. Or anywhere near as withering as Obama’s pre-presidential slap-down.
But one thing almost all the responses shared was that they were not two words. Only one of the answers was two words. (Step forward, Rick Santorum: “secretive [and] untrustworthy”.)
The rest of them, however, were hopeless. How can we count on them to run the country if we can’t even count on them to count?
Here are the non-two-word-and-therefore-void comments on Hillary Clinton.
- Former New York governor George Pataki: “Divisive and with no vision, no vision at all.”
- South Carolina senator Lindsay Graham: “Not the change we need at the time we need it.”
- Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal: “Socialist and government dependent.”
- Former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore: “A professional politician who can’t be trusted.”
- Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina: “Not trustworthy, no accomplishment.”
- Rick Perry: “I’ll just go with three: good at email.”
Our old friend Donald Trump would have nailed this with his favourite two-word catchphrase: “Donald Trump!”
