A wife and mother who lost both her husband and two children when their family vehicle crashed into water has spoke out about overcoming her agony to enjoy swimming once more.
Geraldine Mullan states that she lost "absolutely everything" when her partner John, teenage son Thomas and daughter Amelia, aged six, tragically died on August 20, 2020.
The Donegal nurse pleaded with the coast guard worker who rescued her to 'let her go' when Geraldine managed to survive by standing on top of their car - knowing full well her beloved family had already drowned, reports Belfast Live.
The devastating crash, which led to the family car plunging into Lough Foyle in County Donegal, took place at a site which is still part of Geraldine's drive to work as an oncology nurse.
However, despite feeling heartbroken “every second of every minute of every hour", Geraldine has found the strength to keep on going.
The family had enjoyed a day out in Derry but tragedy struck when their car left the road.
She was on a week’s leave while John - who was two weeks away from turning 50 - had taken the end of the week off from his garden centre business to enjoy time with the kids.
On October 4, Geraldine recalled the last day they had together as they went bowling, to the cinema and had dinner together.
Geraldine said: “I have nothing but beautiful memories of the four of us laughing and joking and planning our days ahead, what we were going to do and everything as I would say was now idyllic until the night on our way home.
“And unfortunately we never got home that night.”
When Geraldine was rescued by Kevin Barr of the Coast Guard that night, she begged him to let her go because she knew her husband, son and daughter were gone.
The oncology nurse told Miriam O’Callaghan on RTE Radio One: “I’ll admit there was a time I didn’t want him to hold onto me because I knew I had lost everything.
“I knew by the time help had come that that unfortunately it was not going to be a rescue, it was just going to be a search rescue for John, Tomas and Amelia’s bodies, so at one point I just asked him to let me go.
"And Kevin held onto me and apologised and said ‘Geraldine I can’t let you go.’”
She also thanked the emergency services that night for getting her husband and two children back so she could give them a send off.
Tomas, 14, held his six-year-old sister in his arms until the end.
Geraldine said: “He minded her right until the end.
“It’s hard when I close my eyes, I have nothing but beautiful pictures around my house of John, Tomas and Amelia and in the majority of the ones of Tomas and Amelia, she’s in his arms.
“That’s where she was right up until the end so the way I look at it, John’s now minding the two of them and they're minding their dad until it’s my time. “
Geraldine's grief threatened to overpower her after the tragedy robbed her of her entire family.
But just two months after their deaths, she returned to the water.
She understands others might not comprehend her desire to do so.
But she said: “I suppose I deal with things in a different way.
“Some people probably think I’m crazy - there’s no right or wrong way in what way I deal with my grief.
“For me, I’ve lost so much. And the water was the thief, and the night in question it took absolutely everything from me.
“But I didn’t want it to be something that had more control over me.”
Living in Moville in Inishowen in Donegal, she is surrounded by beaches where she has so many memories, including her first date with the love of her life John.
When she first went into the water following the tragedy, she said it was difficult but she is now part of a swimming club which plays an active role in her life now.
Geraldine explained: “In October last year and with the guidance of my brother Henry, I decided I would just face my fear head on.
“That first day was horrendous. There was tears and there was crying and flashbacks but I also did it for John, Tomas and Amelia.”
In the months that followed, she said: “A very good friend of mine Cathy was involved in a local swimming group so she got me involved so now I’m part of an amazing group of women.”
She added: “For me, the water is healing of the soul.
“When I close my eyes I think of John, Tomas and Amelia and the good times we had in the water or family days out or holidays by the sea. I swim for them as much as I do for myself.
“When I step into the water, I leave my worries at the shore.
“Every second of every minute of every hour, I’m heartbroken and that’s not going to change but when I get into the water I just feel closer to John and the kids.”
Geraldine returned to work last February in Letterkenny University Hospital, where she is an oncology nurse.
She told how she gets as much from the patients as she gives to them and is grateful of the support from her colleagues.
But going to and from work, she has to drive by the scene of that night.
She said: “Some days are tough, because my route to work invariably brings me past our scene and brings me back on the way home, so I’ve triggers on the way to work and I’ve triggers on the way home.”
John’s garden centre is now a community hub, with farmer’s markets and youth clubs where an event will be held in memory of her loved ones this Friday, in what would have been Amelia’s eighth birthday.
The details for the event, Amelia’s Glad Rags for Hope, can be found on the Hope Facebook page.
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