The Cult of Wayne
And so the Broncos go top of the pops and the people of Brisbane again yodel, Welcome back, Wayne-o!, as bookmakers reel in the Broncos so that $2 will get you $15 that Brisbane will be premiers in this season of our Lord Rocket Reddy 2015. Thus is the power of the Cult of Wayne. When Wayne Bennett’s teams win he’s a super coach. When they lose it’s because his best blokes are injured. Other coaches – as Ricky Stuart, Geoff Toovey and Mick Potter would tell you – aren’t afforded this sympathy.
What is it with old mate Yoda? Why is Bennett so lauded? He’s largely played games at home in Brisbane where fans are one-eyed like Cyclops. His recruitment network covers the entire great state of Queensland, and whichever bits of NSW and New Zealand he covets. His teams are usually chock-full of State of Origin players. And he’s always backed by big money. In terms of game plan he’s doing nothing different to Stuart, Toovey, Bellamy, all of them. Truly. All clubs have the same stuff. But Bennett makes players believe. And that, perhaps, is his great point-of-difference. He’s got a way of making young men think they’re good. And like themselves. And like him. Doesn’t make him Yoda. But it’s pretty handy.
The gas man
Fastest man in rugby league? Depends on context. There are a few guys (Shaun Johnson, James Segeyaro) who can zap off the mark and turn a half-gap into a chasm. There are men (Marika Koroibetye, Brett Morris) who’ll towel you up over the hundred. But the most effective speed is that over the 10 metres once you’ve busted through. What speed a man can muster after that is almost negligible. In rugby league, such is the safety-first, four-tackles crash-ball nature of the game in the “Red Zone” – which depending on the coach’s conservatism could be everywhere from your try-line to the other mob’s 20 – there are very few long-range tries. What does it matter how fast you are over the hundred? There’d be six long-rangers a year, largely from intercepts. That sort of speed is almost a waste. Anyway. Titans speed man James Roberts has all three types of speed, as he showed the Eels. He can shoot off the mark, burn them early, and go up through the gears like Criterion. And while “James Roberts is fast” is not necessarily something we learned last weekend – thanks, Sherlock, you pelican – I’m calling it: Roberts is the fastest man in the game. Yes, Johnson, Koroibetye, Morris and Michael Jennings would form a fairly tasty 4x100m relay team. But Roberts could run anchor for Australia. Man is wicked fast.
Penrith are good
Spent a superb Saturday afternoon a couple weeks ago deep in Sea Eagles territory, Collaroy Beach Services Club, punting on horses and watching Manly versus Canberra on the box with a bunch of mates maroon to a man. And being a Raiders fan, as you can imagine, it was more delicious than a big packet of Violet Crumble. Because the Raiders were pretty good. And Manly were terrible. The Eagles played better against Penrith and competed for long sections. But as soon as the Panthers started “playing football”, as they say, and passed the ball more than once per play, they ran through the Eagles like … bulls at Pamplona? Not really. It was 22-12, not a massacre. But Manly were OK to ordinary. And the Panthers ran strong. And if they can get their full complement fit and firing come late July and into August then I’ll throw it out now: Penrith will win the 2015 NRL premiership. Penrith are good.
Scary people
The champions never lose it. Sure, he punted one out on the full and he’s not likely to reprise those breakdancing bullfrog moves from yesteryear. But Benji Marshall’s ball that hit Peter Mata’utia for the Dragons’ second try of the first half, that, people, was high-class. Flat and spiralling, across the face of the rushing D-line, it gave Mata’utia a perfect overlap and gallop to glory. Top stuff. Marshall also hit the impressive Tyson Frizell for a short ball that led to a try. And Benji … look, he’s just very good to watch. Super skill and a willingness to have a crack. Every team should have a Benji. And the Dragons will be happy they have the Benji.
But the Dragons will be happier they have a squadron of hard-acres who so want to get stuck into the opposition that when there’s a minute’s silence for Richie Benaud they look annoyed about it. Not sure if Trent Merrin wasn’t told there’d be a bit of formality just before kick-off, but such was his desire to rush down and bash Bulldogs, he didn’t look happy about it. And it’s a mentality shared among these red-and-white pig-men. Jack de Belin slung Corey Thompson back in goal after the live-wire wing man had scampered a good few metres into the game. Frizzel whacked Tim Browne to sleep. The Dragons are bad-ass. They reckon they bash each other all week. Scary people.
The ghost of Meat Pie Artie
Watched Dragons-Dogs with a German girl who’s been in Australia a month, and it was interesting the things she noticed. Such as: “Do they shave or wax?”; “Germans would like this game there is beer and whacking.” And, regarding George Rose, “Who is this big fat man? He looks like a person who’s won a contest that allows him to play. He’s kind of sweet and also weird.” Yes, they always pick on the fat kid. And that is unkind. But our George … is he getting tubbier each game? He’s the ghost of Meat Pie Artie. And for a talented footballer, you’d think if he stopped eating as much and got, you know, “fit”, then he could be something of a player. Just thoughts.
