Cronulla Sharks
The Sharks have some good players. And the Sharks have a coach who has returned to the fold. And the Sharks are, maybe, probably, who knows, emerging from under the thick blanket of angst that was the scandal of systemic blood-doping uncovered by ASADA. And everyone’s pretty jack of them, and hoping they leave rugby league alone, particularly the Sharks because they’ve had a heck of a time, just like the meek. But that’s not how stuff works.
But … it appears the deal’s been cut, and the Sharks would like to move along, nothing to see but what they’re putting out on the field. What will that be? Who knows? They can beat you on a Saturday night at sweet home Remondis. But elsewhere, well … they’re just sort of … well. They’re rubbish.
Rubbish? Hark back to the penultimate round of 2014 and the Battle for Little Big Spoon, Sharks and Raiders. The fixture will go down as perhaps the worst game of rugby league since the Dogs drew with Newtown 0-0 at Henson Park in 1982. Dire rugby league. The Raiders half-back, Josh McCrone, passed the ball into touch three times and was hooked before half-time. Yet Canberra won 22-12.
That said, the Sharks should be interesting, if nothing else. Bouncing Benjamin Barba has come from Brisbane to hopefully stay away from his old mates. Mick Ennis has come from the Dogs with his particular brand of nasty starch. And Matt Prior has come from the Dragons where he never quite reprised the New Rod Reddy tag that no-one actually tagged him with.
Luke Lewis? A super player. Origin player. Might actually get on the field in 2015, here’s hoping. Paul Gallen, maggot-hard, plays for 80 minutes, like Lewis is 33 years old. You don’t get less injured the older you get. Both men will need to be managed like prize Brahman bulls.
Andrew Fifita, hopefully, will reprise the form that electrified Canterbury a couple of years ago, and if they can get some similar fun-yards out of his ever-laughing brother David, well … it would be good.
Wade Graham is probably their best player. Micky Gordon they call “Flash”. And Jayson Bukuya is something of a belter. But guys like Chris Heighington, Anthony Tupou and Sam Tagatese, if they were gonna, they already woulda. And England and/or France beckons, as it did for Todd Carney, the naughtiest kid ever. Matt Cleary
Newcastle Knights
What could have gone wrong did go wrong for the Knights in 2014. From off-field player misbehaviour and ownership embarrassments to on-field tragedy and player disinterest, Newcastle endured a truly horrific season and one that was unquestionably the most difficult in the career of coach Wayne Bennett.
Bennett is gone in 2015, replaced by his predecessor Rick Stone. Stone is a major downgrade on Bennett – to be fair, unless Craig Bellamy or Des Hasler are appointed to succeed Bennett, it will be a major downgrade – but he is popular with the players and should at least inject some energy into a lethargic group.
It won’t be a lack of effort that will hurt the Knights this year. Nor will it be a lack of class. The Newcastle team is littered with quality players among their outside back stocks as well as in the back row. Tariq Sims was a big addition over the offseason, giving the Knights some forward punch, while the emergence of the young Mata’utia brothers has put pressure on a very good three-quarter line.
Unfortunately for Newcastle, they suffer from the Big Mac quandary in the halves. Jarrod Mullen and Tyrone Roberts are good enough to do a job – and occasionally it is delicious - but they rarely satisfy for long.
And that is where their season looks like it will come up short. The pack should go forward. The outside backs can finish. But the link that brings it all together just isn’t there. Mullen is still talked about as having potential despite the fact he is nearly 28 and has a decade of NRL experience under his belt. Roberts has struggled with consistency. Hooker Adam Clydesdale had just one try assist last year. The ingredients are there for Newcastle. The lack of a chef is the issue. Nick Tedeschi
Parramatta Eels
Parra are as good as gone. Without Jarryd Hayne, the X-factor is halved. Outside Chris Sandow, Will Hopoate and rampaging Semi Radradra, Parra are essentially a bunch of big units capable of inflicting pain. Don’t agree? Well, would you take money from your wallet and give it someone else with any expectation that they would give it back to you 66-times should Parra finish top of the comp? You would not. And if you did it would be silly.
Look, they’ll do okay. There’s some fairly tasty burgers running through their giant blue-and-gold beef-cake. Darcy Lussick, Manu Ma’u, Tim Mannah, Junior Paulo and Pauli Pauli, these great thundering beasts will fill legislated metres and run into men at speed, and it will hurt to stand in their way. It will be interesting to see how Anthony Watmough (from Manly) and Danny Wicks (from Glen Innes Correctional Centre) fit into the squadron, and what they do. One’s an old man, one hasn’t played in the NRL since 2009.
Sandow is of course capable of electrified derring-do. But without the Hayne Train floating out the back like a dangerous wraith, defenders worrying what he might do even though he doesn’t have the ball, you’d suggest Sandow will be a man most marked. Corey Norman in the six? Brett Kenny this is not.
The Eels’ best player is probably Hopoate in the centres, a highly skilful man who along with Chrissy are just about it. And if you think Parramatta will make the top-eight bookmakers will give you $3.25 back for each $1 you outlay. And that seems about right. Matt Cleary
Canberra Raiders
In the last 10 years, this journalist has won many a bet with editors of esteemed national sports journals by wagering that the Raiders will perform above said editors’ expectations. Bet they’ll do better than 15th they’ll come sixth (2012). Bet they’ll make the eight, they’ll come seventh (2010).
Of course bet they’ll make the top four (rather unwisely, it might be said, in hindsight) and they’ll finish 15th (2011). They are the most confounding of squadrons and you won’t find good stockbrokers plonking their favourite clients’ fortunes upon the fortunes of Canberra Raiders.
And this year? No different. Because as much as it pains this Raiders man to say, Canberra will struggle to make the eight. That said, rugby league, as we know, is a funny game. And it’s funny because every team, from the finest squadron of money-men forged hard in the furnace of Origin, to the journeymen who howl in and out of Windsor Wolves, they all play rugby league the same way. They use the same data from the same internet, use wrestling coaches to teach the same stuff, and run sets of six from the same design template. Which is: crash-crash-crash, kick out of danger. Chase. Bash them. Get the ball in their 20 and toss it about. Kick for a the corner or grubber for repeat. And repeat. And the reason everyone does it is because it’s so effective.
And if you think the Canberra Raiders, under as competitive and bloody-minded a coach as Ricky Stuart, aren’t perfectly capable of adhering to their masters’ voice and playing the game like everybody else does – and winning roughly as many games as they lose – then you’re off your nut. Matt Cleary
