I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro are coming back for another Meet the Parents sequel, an upcoming 2026 movie with an on-brand title of Focker in Law. With the franchise back in the spotlight once again, I’ve been thinking a lot about the iconic 2000s movie that started it all 25 years ago this October. I’ve been thinking about the funniest scenes, that legendary movie cat (Mr. Jinx), and how much I love this movie.
I’ve also been thinking about all those great characters, as well as the franchise’s worst: Pamela Byrnes-Focker (Teri Polo). Before you get all worked up, I don’t have a problem with Polo’s performance or anything like that. However, I can’t sit here and act like Pam’s anything but the worst. Hear me out…
Pam Byrnes Is One Of The Least Supportive Girlfriends And Worst Communicators
There have been a lot of rotten boyfriends and girlfriends in movies (especially comedies like this) over the years, and I’d totally put Pam Byrnes on that list. Throughout Meet the Parents, she’s not very supportive of Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) and is hands-down the worst communicator in the whole movie. She doesn’t tell her overbearing and intense-as-all-hell father, Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro), that she and Greg are living together, doesn’t tell Greg that he’s so freaking high-strung, and doesn’t fill in a lot of gaps.
I mean, just look at the section where they go to Kevin Rawley’s (Owen Wilson) house. Pam doesn’t tell Greg that they’re going to her ex-fiancé’s house until they get out of their cars in the driveway, setting up a disastrous afternoon. Sure, it leads to some hilarious and painfully awkward moments I still laugh about, but yeesh. It’s just one thing about this movie that hasn’t aged well.
I Know It's A Comedy, But She Totally Set Greg Up For Failure In Meet The Parents
I know, Greg Focker being a fish out of water in the Byrnes home and their way of life totally makes Meet the Parents such a funny movie, but she’s setting up her boyfriend and soon-to-be fiancé up for failure from the jump. She does have his back in the end when she gets Greg’s MCAT scores and shows her parents he was in the 97th percentile, but honestly, it’s too little too late.
Greg is a prickly dude, I’ll admit that, but he had no one on his side and no one supporting him throughout the whole weekend. I’m not saying Pam standing by him would have prevented the Mr. Jinx incident or the backyard pool flood or the big fire, but you know what I mean.
Even Watching As A Kid, I Thought, 'What Gives, Pam?'
I saw Meet the Parents at my best friend’s 12th birthday, and I remember thinking “what gives, Pam?” whenever everything was going down. I knew nothing about love, relationships, or adulting at the time (I’m still iffy on most aspects), but I knew that I didn’t like what she did to Greg during his downward spiral and fall from grace. Again, I didn’t think then, and I don’t think now that her being 100% supportive would have made Jack less of a psychopath, but some support would be nice.
It’s not like Pam Byrnes killed anyone or left Greg behind and became some cult leader, but her lack of communication, unwillingness to get her boyfriend's back, and fear of her admittedly crazy dad is just something I can’t get past.
