Immersed in cool water, the punter surveys the grandeur of the contest at the heart of the Gabba through transparent pool fence and wanders over to lounge chairs on artificial grass for a drink. Cricket has come to this: a swimming pool in the ground.
For the first Test between Australia and Pakistan in Brisbane, a select few will have an uninterrupted view of the action while relaxing in their togs.
Purely in the interests of research, I tried it out before Thursday’s action. Like an infinity pool, the view from the the deck is uninterrupted. No seats below with protruding heads. The orientation is square to the wicket with the scoreboard looming in the background beyond. In cricket terms, when the bowler goes downhill from the Vulture Street end, you’re perched at the deepest square leg, or deep point when the trundler comes from the Stanley Street end.
It’s a fair vista, although not one from which you’d be screaming support for leg-before-wicket appeals with any authority. It’s quite possible to imagine watching all the action from the water, as long as the giant inflatable cricket balls don’t get in the way. The pool is shallow, a metre at its deepest, so people bomb diving into the water is unlikely to be a distraction.
In these moments, you think, well, haven’t we come a long way since 1950, when according to the visiting English cricket writer John Kay the place was run like a “concentration camp” that herded spectators like a “slave market”.
Of course, it’s only a select 120 or so who will have the privilege of occupying the Gabba pool deck at any one time. And with the pool itself being the size of an average suburban model at 32,000 litres, it’s safe to say that 120 people won’t all be allowed in the water at once. There will be lifeguards and other officials to regulate this summer fun. And unlike the viewers in their pools at home – and in Brisbane there will be some – Gabba pool revellers are forbidden from having any booze at arm’s reach.
Entry to the pool deck enclosure is to be gained by a kind of lottery. In the spirit of audience engagement, cricket authorities have invited the public to “head to the match in their best pool attire and they could be randomly selected for an upgrade to the pool deck”.
This raises two immediate questions. What could possibly go wrong come opening day? And will this be the first Test match in history where most of the crowd is not fully clothed?
A Cricket Australia spokesman has said “creativity will be rewarded” and mentioned something about Hawaiian shirts, although the exact selection criteria remain unclear. We may never know how many patrons would have come semi-nude without any encouragement.
It’s a gimmick, to be sure. But one that merely follows the jet packs, pash cams and shooting flames of an era in which the traditional Test match – its length chewing through a quarter of the average Australian worker’s annual leave – has a tenuous grip on the popular attention span, except when England come to town.
Just to keep things interesting this is also the Gabba’s first day-night Test, after two in Australia in Adelaide and one in the United Arab Emirates. That means late admissions, the pink ball and everything. The moisture after dusk should offer more assistance than a mouthful of mints to the Pakistani quicks who, like Dean Martin, this time will be swingin’.
Cricket Australia’s executive general manager of marketing, Ben Amarfio, describes the pool deck as bringing “a real Queensland summer feel to the Test”.
That and the beach-themed Sandy Point viewing area, with sand and big screen just outside the stadium, were “initiatives” that officials hope will lure punters from across the state and even the country, according to Amarfio.
But anyone going near the pool be warned. That deck and artificial grass are baking hot in Brisbane’s December sun. It’s bad enough underfoot, but I just about fried my hands leaning on the pool deck. Spare a thought for the pool deck “ambassador” and Olympic swimming champion Stephanie Rice, who had to sit on the deck for the duration of a photo shoot on Monday.
Remember that thongs are essential. Like sunscreen.
You also might expect to cop a fair bit of attention, being in a kind of human fishbowl. The pool has platforms of multiple depths for your viewing pleasure, or for your display to the envious masses – whichever way you choose to look at it.
My brief dip was enough to prompt what may have been some envious glances from some of the tech installation guys on Tuesday. And the cricket wasn’t even on.
This pool is clearly an oasis. So why stop at one. The experiment in spectator immersion is pointing to a future Gabba festooned with swimming pools. Where the field itself is converted into a beach and beach cricket becomes the dominant form of the game.
A future of cool comfort for all, in the style to which they are accustomed.
