Donald Trump is weeks away from his 80th birthday and, like all old men, needs his naptime. We just wish he didn’t do it in front of the world’s media during official engagements, as it’s making the country look bad.
Then again, unconsciousness is definitely preferable to hearing RFK Jr expound on teenage boys’ sperm. So we can’t blame Trump for wanting to escape reality into dreamland.
The remarks came at a maternal healthcare event in the Oval Office, in which Kennedy held court about all things spermy. He argued that: “In 1970, men had twice the sperm count as our teenagers do today” and indicated today’s teens are firing blanks: “A teenager today, an American teenager, has less testosterone than a 68-year-old man. Sperm counts are down 50%.”
RFK Jr. complains that teenagers today don’t have enough sperm pic.twitter.com/V0F8fazHMA
— Headquarters (@HQNewsNow) May 11, 2026
This all ties into America’s plummeting fertility rates, though the actual data is unclear, as semen analysis tests on teen boys aren’t commonly performed. Kennedy wants to fix this, which shouldn’t be too difficult, as every parent of an adolescent boy who’s ever miserably eyed a wastebasket overflowing with used Kleenex will know.
Kennedy gets serious about sperm
Fertility and America’s looming demographic crisis, as birth rates drop is a serious topic and something politicians should be grappling with. After all, in thirty years, who’s going to be paying the pensions of an increasingly elderly population? Even so, we really don’t want to have to hear Kennedy of all people giving a speech about sperm – so we can forgive Trump for conking out.
The White House has been combative about this topic, angrily denying that Trump is asleep at the wheel. The “Rapid Response 47” account insists that this is merely him blinking. A very, very long blink that just so happens to be accompanied by his head drooping? Perhaps they should be thankful he didn’t snore.
He was blinking, you absolute moron https://t.co/7gw3n7l8R3
— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) May 11, 2026
Of all the evil things Trump does and says, him being a bit sleepy is definitely one of his lesser crimes. We can only repeat that the guy is practically 80! Guys that age get dozy!
The problem is that most people in their eighties are retired and can lead a relaxed lifestyle suited to their energy levels and stamina. Maybe there should be an age limit to the presidency? After all, if you can’t even keep your eyes open during important meetings, are you really competent enough to lead a world superpower?
