Deir el-Balah, Gaza Strip – Jehad Al-Assar left his tent in central Gaza’s Deir el-Balah early in the morning on a new and exhausting journey to get food for his family.
His destination on Wednesday: an aid distribution point in Rafah, in the far south of Gaza, run by the United States-backed Gaza Humanitarian Foundation (GHF).
Jehad walked a “gruelling” 10km (6.2 miles) to reach the site, driven along primarily by the weight of responsibility for his pregnant wife and two hungry daughters.
With starvation spreading throughout Gaza, a direct result of Israel’s months-long blockade on the territory, the GHF site was Jehad’s only hope.
This is despite the controversy surrounding the organisation, whose own head resigned on Sunday, saying that the GHF could not adhere “to the humanitarian principles of humanity, neutrality, impartiality, and independence”.
The GHF’s lack of experience in dealing with aid distribution was highlighted on Tuesday, when at least three Palestinians were killed in the chaos that surrounded the relief effort.
But in Gaza, people are hungry and desperate. Jehad is among them.
After walking for 90 minutes, the 31-year-old reached the iron gates of the distribution centre, alongside thousands of others, before they suddenly opened.
“Crowds surged in – thousands of people. There was no order at all,” Jehad told Al Jazeera. “People rushed towards the yard where aid boxes were stacked and moved into the inner hall, where there were more supplies.”
“It was chaos – a real struggle. Men, women, children, all crammed together, pushing to grab whatever they could. No queues, no system – just hunger and disorder,” Jehad added.
Inside the hall, people snatched whatever they could carry. “Anyone who could lift two boxes took them. Sugar and cooking oil were the priorities. They grabbed what they wanted and rushed out.”
“There was no trace of humanity in what happened,” he said. “I was nearly crushed by the crowd.”
Just a short distance away, armed foreign forces stood watching without intervening. Jehad said he approached one of them and confronted him.
“I told them, ‘You’re not helping – you’re overseeing a famine. You should leave. You’re not needed here.'”
Jehad managed to retrieve only a few items: cans of tuna, a small bag of sugar, some pasta and a packet of biscuits scattered on the ground. He carried them in a plastic bag slung over his shoulder and made the long journey back home.
“I only got a little. I was afraid to stay longer and get trampled in the stampede – but I had to bring back something. My girls need to eat. I have no choice,” he said.
When he returned to the tent, his daughters greeted him joyfully – even for the little he had brought.
“My wife and I divide the food we bring home so the kids can eat over several days. We often skip meals. The children can’t endure this… and I bear the full responsibility for feeding them,” he said.
Apocalyptic
Awad Abu Khalil was also among the desperate crowds on Wednesday. The 23-year-old described the crowds rushing to get to the food as “apocalyptic”.
“Everyone was running. It was chaos. The aid was piled up and everyone just attacked it, grabbing what they could.”
Awad said he heard gunfire in the distance, likely targeting young men trying to bypass the designated routes.
He expressed deep frustration with the staff. “I expected the American staff to distribute aid at tables, handing each person their share – not this madness.”
The images that emerged on Tuesday and Wednesday have added fuel to international criticism of the GHF, with representatives from several countries denouncing Israel’s decision to limit the United Nations and international humanitarian organisations from bringing aid into Gaza.
Israel stopped the entry of aid into Gaza in early March, while a ceasefire was still ongoing. It has since unilaterally broken the ceasefire, and doubled down in its war on Gaza, with the official death toll now more than 54,000 Palestinians.
“We used to receive aid from international agencies and the UN,” said Jehad. “It was delivered by name, in an organised way – no chaos, no humiliation.”
By the end of Wednesday, Gaza’s Government Media Office reported that at least 10 Palestinians desperately seeking aid had been killed by Israeli forces in the previous 48 hours.
Humiliation
Awad and Jehad were both able to return home with some food.
Jehad said that his wife and mother made bread from the pasta, soaking it and then kneading it into dough. His wife used the sugar to make a simple pudding for the children. He will return on Thursday, he said.
Even that is better than it is for most people in Gaza.
Walaa Abu Sa’da has three children. Her youngest is only 10 months old.
The 35-year-old could not bear watching people return to the displacement camp in al-Mawasi in Khan Younis carrying food while her children starved, so she decided to go to Rafah by herself.
“I fought with my husband who refused to go out of fear of the [Israeli] army. I swore I would go myself,” Walaa told Al Jazeera.
Entrusting her children to her sister, she joined the crowd heading towards the distribution site.
“My children were on the verge of starving. No milk, no food, not even baby formula. They cried day and night, and I had to beg neighbours for scraps,” she said. “So I went, regardless of what my husband thought.”
But by the time Walaa made it to Rafah, it was too late.
“People were fighting over what little remained. Some were carrying torn parcels,” she said.
Walaa left the distribution site empty-handed. On the way back, she saw a man drop a bag of flour from his torn parcel.
“I picked it up and asked if I could have it,” she said. “He shouted, ‘I came all the way from Beit Lahiya in the far north [of Gaza] to get this. I have nine children who are all starving. I’m sorry, sister, I can’t give it away,’ and he walked off.
“I understood, but his words broke me. I wept for what we’ve become.”
Walaa described the experience as deeply humiliating. She was filled with shame and inferiority.
“I covered my face with my scarf the whole time. I didn’t want anyone to recognise me going to get a food parcel,” Walaa, who is a teacher with a bachelor’s degree in geography, said.
Despite her sorrow, Walaa says she will do it again if needed.
“There’s no dignity left when your children are crying from hunger. We won’t forgive those who allowed us to reach this point.”
