MADISON, Wis. _ Northwestern and Wisconsin wore throwback uniforms to commemorate a 0-0 tie in 1891, making the lead of this story way too easy to write.
Did you see the UCLA-Washington State game last week with the final score of 67-63?
This was not that.
Wisconsin and Northwestern slugged it out Saturday, combining for three offensive touchdowns, two coming essentially after the game was decided.
The Badgers won handily, 24-15, because they have Jonathan Taylor (119 yards and a touchdown on 26 carries) and the Wildcats have one of the sorriest offenses in America.
Pat "Hashtag I don't care" Fitzgerald won't agree, but 40,000 people on Twitter can't be that much worse than offensive coordinator Mick McCall. The Wildcats entered Saturday having scored five touchdowns, tied with UConn and NIU for the fewest in the FBS.
They now have seven, thanks largely to a recovered onside kick and muffed punt that gave the Wildcats plus field position.
They almost scored one in the first quarter when Hunter Johnson tiptoed down the right sideline on a nice gain. But part of his right shoe was out of bounds, so the ball was returned to the 13-yard line, where Northwestern stalled.
Fitzgerald still has an offensive crisis on his hands. His full quote last week was this: "I understand there are 40,000 experts on Twitter that can call plays for me. My email address is hashtag I don't care."
The quip served to divert attention from Johnson, the talented and underperforming first-year quarterback. Not sure what Fitzgerald can say to draw attention away this week from a team that fell to 1-3 and 0-2 in the Big Ten.
The offense is atrocious, and each play seems to feature a different reason. One series ended when left guard Nik Urban moved in slow-motion to block on a screen pass. The next ended when Drake Anderson whiffed on a block of linebacker Chris Orr.
The killer came late in the third quarter.
After a great punt return by Riley Lees and a foolish block-in-the-back penalty that didn't influence the runback, Johnson took a shotgun snap and looked to pass.
Before you could say "one-Mississippi, two-Mississ ..." Johnson got smacked from his blind side by safety Eric Burrell, forcing a fumble. The ball bounced into the end zone, and Wisconsin landed on it for a score.
That made it 14-3. And when Northwestern trails 14-3, the game is all but over.
It's still to be determined whether Johnson (10-for-21, 59 yards) has the requisite feel for the position _ the small-step mobility, the decision-making. Fitzgerald appeared to holler at him when he made the wrong decision on a third-and-1 option play, handing off even though linebacker Zack Baun crashed.
ABC/ESPN cameras showed McCall hollering in frustration in the press box.
But short of Aaron Rodgers, it's unclear which quarterback could thrive in this blocking-optional offense, which features receivers who rarely get separation.
Johnson exited the game in the fourth quarter after getting blown up on a Reggie Pearson blitz. Per usual, Pearson was unblocked.
Aidan Smith replaced Johnson and threw a pick-six on his third play.
Johnson returned for the next series. And then Smith was back in. He finished 8 of 19 for 99 yards and led Northwestern on two touchdown drives.
Curiously, Fitzgerald opted to try for two after trailing 24-9. It failed. He tried again for a conversion down 24-15. That failed. So when the Wildcats got the ball back inside three minutes, they needed two scores instead of one.
Weird.
The flip side to all this: NU's defense was spectacular.
Taylor got his triple digits, but the Wildcats made him work for it _ and made Jack Coan look like 2018 Jack Coan (15-for-24, 113 yards).
This marked the third straight time that Mike Hankwitz's defense has subdued the great Taylor.
As a freshman Taylor gained 80 yards on 19 carries. Last season he had only one sub-100-yard game, and it came in Evanston _ 11 carries for 46 yards.
He did enough Saturday to help the No. 8 Badgers improve to 4-0 and 2-0 in the conference.
And Wisconsin's defense dominated a group that gets dominated nearly every game.
