This week’s geezerfest has a semi-interesting premise – dividing up a bizarro Britain along Romeo and Juliet lines, as blossoming young love threatens the tenuous truce between regional heavies – but no sense of how to develop it. Instead, variably grizzled types (Bernard Hill and Freema Agyeman repping the north; Steven Berkoff and Keith Allen the south) sit around picking their teeth and casually lobbing C-bombs at one another, while a florid Elliott Tittensor voiceover strives to assure us the stakes are being raised. With writer-director Steve Nesbit preoccupied with delaying his under-budgeted action, an odd listlessness takes over: you just want Danny Dyer to stroll on and tell everyone to stop poncing about.
