"The Defra big top is spinning out of control." That was the verdict of Labour's Mary Creagh after environment minister Jim Paice suffered a pasting in the House of Commons today.
Paice had to "clarify" that legal proceedings pitting the European Circus Association against the Austrian government - used by the government to justify not banning wild animals from UK circuses - doesn't actually exist yet.
In a scene reminiscent of secretary of state Caroline Spelman's humiliating apology for her proposals to sell off England's publicly owned forests, Paice blamed, extraordinarily, a newspaper for the mistake.
MPs lined up to take potshots. "It's the department for error, failure and rotten administration," said LibDem Bob Russell, displaying no coalition solidarity. Labour's Helen Jones said Paice's defence was "pathetic".
Paice fought back. Would Labour have ignored the legal advice of its officials in government, and if the issue is so vital, why didn't they manage a ban in 13 years? Then, weirdly, he said, if you don't like the idea of elephants and lions performing in circuses, don't go. My Twitter follower, epocaclypse says: "That's like saying if you don't like famine don't watch the news." Quite.
What's actually the issue, you might be asking at this point. The government recently responded to a consultation, launched by Labour, by choosing a licensing scheme. A ban was not possible, ministers said, as it would run into legal trouble in the form of the EU services directive and the UK's human rights act. Furthermore, it said, the Austrian legal case was ongoing.
But it isn't. Paice said his officials has spoken to the ECA's lawyers this morning and that they expected the case to be brought "within weeks."
"Cowardly", said Green MP Caroline Lucas, echoing other MPs who accused the government of hiding behind possible future legal challenges, rather than imposing the ban that many want. She cited past situations where bans on the import of seal products and cat and dog fur into the EU could have breached EU law, but "the courage of member states" had overcome them. "Show a bit of spine," she said.
Paice said that there were 39 wild animals (including tigers, lions, camels, zebras and crocodiles) being used in UK circuses, but no elephants any more, after the retirement of Anne, an elephant whose beating by keepers caused uproar in March. Spelman was absent, visiting in Yorkshire one of the flood defence projects she hasn't halted with spending cuts.
I think hiding behind possible future legal action to implement a ban looks even more pathetic when you consider the courage prime minister David Cameron found to speak against the European law that requires prisoners in the UK to be able to vote.
"It's an all-singing, all-dancing disaster from the worst performing department in Whitehall," said Creagh. Given what I have said before, I can't disagree.
