Lots of people in their 20s and 30s nowadays are on the fence about whether to have children or not. In 2023, 47% of Americans under 50 said they're more likely to remain childless than to have children in the future. As for people over the age of 50, 23% have never had children.
Of course, the reasons vary from person to person, but the one that is cited most often (39%) by older adults is that it just didn't happen. 33% of older Americans also didn't have kids because they didn't find the right partner, and 31% admitted they just didn't want to be parents.
But how do older, childless folks feel now? What are their lives like? Well, we can get some sort of idea from the stories people shared in a recent Reddit thread. When someone asked, "People in their 40s and 50s with no children, how does it feel?", older netizens flocked to share their thoughts about the best and worst parts of being childfree.
#1
How does it feel? It feels awesome. I still think of it as the best decision I’ve ever made in life. I knew early on that being a parent was just not for me. I got a lot of blowback from family members, but, hey, it’s my life to live as I wish. No regrets at 60 now and loving life!
Image credits: Lothar_28
#2
This might sound weird but does anybody else never think about it? For me it’s not some internal conundrum that I’m constantly battling. I just literally have never considered having kids. I don’t think about it at all. I just live my life.
#3
It’s a relief. With the unexpected hardships that have arisen in my adult life, the stress of children would be killing me.
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#4
I'm happy with my choice.
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#5
We have a cat and dog & that's enough for us! We can go on holiday when we like, treat ourselves to a nice life. See our nephews regularly and happy to give them back!
Image credits: SeahorseQueen1985
#6
Instead of 3 kids and no monies, I chose no kids and all the monies.
Seriously zero regrets, other than not being sterilized 20 years sooner.
Kids aren't for everyone. Not all adults should be parents. Mine shouldn't have.
Image credits: windowschick
#7
Relief that I didn't cast any children into the cauldron of the 21st century.
Image credits: Sanpaku
#8
Everything I do is my preference. My whole day is built around this. Have a bunch of nieces/nephews as well but just get to do my own thing all the time.
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#9
I made the right decision not having kids. Parenting isn't for everyone and I wish society would stop acting like it is. There is nothing weird or selfish or abnormal about someone deciding children aren't for them. .
#10
Like theres money around and no responisbility.
Image credits: Huge-Peen-mean-ween
#11
It feels like the freedom as an adult that you imagined as a child.
It also gives me more bandwidth to help my own parents do old-timer things.
Image credits: Hot-Prize217
#12
When you don't have kids you stop aging internally around 25 years old. And the freedom, the freedom is priceless.
Image credits: Capable-Block6054
#13
Well, I’m 44M, make $100k+ a year and own my house. it’s Saturday and I just woke up at 10 am. Gonna make coffee and breakfast and probably play video games for the next few hours then who knows.
#14
Free time. No obligations. Spare money. Peace and quiet.
#15
Eh. I would have liked to have children, but life just didn't work out that way. Occasionally I have the "I wish" feelings, but I also think it happened this way for a reason.
A lot of my friends have kids, and I am the 'cool aunt' who brings the fun, but can also be a listening post when the kid wants to talk about something they're not ready to talk to their parents about just yet. I'm happy with that.
I think I've also sort of become the 'kid-parent' translator in a way. Sometimes my friends are frustrated with their kids, and I've been able to explain the child's point of view that seems to help everybody step back and rethink a bit. (I kind of put it down to 'they're all in the situation, so don't see thing objectively'.) It may not be much, but if it helps, then okay.
Image credits: BlueSkyWitch
#16
I'm 52, will be married 25 years in a few weeks, and have no children by choice. How does it feel? FABULOUS!!!
Image credits: Far_Hamster_7121
#17
Fantastic. Best decision I ever made in my life, and those are far and few between lol.
#18
No lies, its pretty sweet.
#19
Feels great! 44f childfree by choice, I’ve never regretted the choice, actually the decision is paying off more now than ever before. Was married for 20 years, divorced last year and was so thankful I wasn’t having to deal with custody issues or becoming a single mom on top of everything else.
My ex may have had regrets… his affair partners of choice were single moms so maybe he really wanted to play daddy 🤷♀️.
#20
One of the decisions I don't regret.
#21
I can give my pets their best life. Theres always that group of people who seem to dislike childless people and they always want to bring up their legacy and whose going to take care of you when you get old. But we’ve seen plenty of older, people die alone. Gene Hackman and his wife the most recent.
#22
F*****g awesome! I spend all my money on me, do whatever the f**k I want, whenever I want to. There's no children crying, no messes to clean up besides the ones I make myself, no parent teacher conferences, no school recitals, no peewee soccer games I have to attend with a bunch of other loser parents that I have to be nice to because my kid is friends with their kid, I don't need to watch children's movies or TV shows, the list goes on.
The more I type this stuff, the happier I get!
#23
Fantastic. I actually love kids but can’t imagine:
1. Always having the responsibility of a child
2. Subjecting the child to my mental health issues
3. Bringing life into a world where Earth is dying
4. Affording to live in the US with a child
5. Dealing with the anxiety of my child’s future with the bleakness of the world issues we are currently experiencing (civil unrest/wealth disparity/nuclear war/AI/Environmental crisis, etc).
#24
Extremely peaceful! And the sense of freedom is wonderful.
Image credits: thecosytrader
#25
I can do ridiculous things on a whim. Yeah, no regrets there.
Image credits: More-Tumbleweed-
#26
Feels super great. 10 out of 10. Five stars. No regrets.
#27
I always thought that having kids would be fun and a rewarding experience --story break-- when I was 25 I dated a single mother for a while and was very involved in the kid's life --back to reality-- I no longer had any desire to have children of my own.
I have nieces and nephews, friends with kids, I can get my fill of the children experience elsewhere.
#28
Fantastic! My life is lots of fun, and mostly stress free.
#29
Things are hard enough without them I'm glad I didn't have any, especially considering the way everything will be falling apart in the next 5-10 years. It's a great time to not exist.
#30
It feels stupendous. Tremendous cream. F&CK a dollar and a dream.
Image credits: Mr-Jack-Tripper
#31
Feels pretty great!
#32
I don't think kids are everything that they are c*****d up to be in all honesty.
#33
As someone who just spent a holiday weekend with my family and 4 nieces and nephews I definitely have no regrets.
#34
Fine, it feels normal to me.
#35
Broke, tired, and thankful I don't have kids.
#36
My time is mine to do as I want, I have disposable income to spend on hobbies/travel/life and plenty of down time to recharge as and when I need to. I have a bustling, fulfilling and very social life but it's on my terms and not beholden to someone else.
That said, I'm lucky in some respects to have a few awesome nephews. I get to be the cool uncle and have loads of fun with them when we hang out and watching them grow has been an amazing experience. I will always be there if they need me but at the end of the day they go back to being the full time responsibility of my sister, brother and their respective partners.
#37
40, and lifelong single and loving it. Can do what I want whenever. I have colleagues on their second marriage, drama galore. I want none of that.
#38
Totally awesome. My husband and I have been together for about 23 years and couldn’t be happier.
#39
Thankful I did not force a life into this world just to keep up and copy the life of my peers. My sister once told me I would regret not having kids because no one would care for me in old age...and then she bolted when my mum got cancer - didn't even come for the funeral. Yeah...I'm good with my choice.
#40
I visit family members with kids and one thing is made emphatically clear to me: my house is quiet and peaceful. I go over to my sibling-in-law house, it is so non-stop loud and noisy and screechy. My quiet house is such a big difference.
#41
I'm pretty comfortable financially, and my time is my own.
#42
I feel content AF. I travel to foreign countries twice a year and use my disposable income on whatever I want. I have friends, family, and I’m very happy! 47F.
#43
I actually cannot have children biologically and I would not have changed a thing. I would not have been able to live in as many places as I have and met the amazing people on my journeys that I have.
Now I have the time to take care of my parents, who suffer from dementia. If I had kids, I'd be in the same boat as my sister, tied up in my own little bubble. I don't miss what I never had. I do enjoy spending time with my nephews, but glad to hand them back when I am ready to go home. I love kids, I truly do, but I was not meant to have them.
#44
Awesome to be honest. For various reasons including medical, I just don’t have the physical and mental stamina to deal with any of that. I’m also a little sensitive to noise, so shrieking children are unbearable to me.
#45
I love it. 46 and so happy. We fill the space with friends, hobbies, travel. We do have a very fun niece and nephew whom we borrow occasionally. It’s like microdosing parenting.
#46
Wonderful. I am not infrequently feeling gratitude for making the choice not to have children. Love kids. Did NOT want my own. I’m a woman who is almost certainly past the child rearing age and I have no regrets.
#47
Psychologically very comfortable. If you have children, I assume you have to be careful with your words, actions, and others to become a "role model" for your children. I don't feel stress knowing that I don't have to pretend.
#48
Pretty awesome! Got paid yesterday (actually Thursday due to holiday). No bills this pay, so I have to make the hard decision to either invest or put in my HYSA. Though one.
My Saturday will consist of going to see my bro who has adult kids, then go see those same kids (my nieces). After, make the trek to hang with some close friends, and their kids who I actually love and adore.
Tonight, a fellow childfree "friend" will come over. We'll have plenty of drinks, listen to music and ease into the night. Tomo morning, I'll make breakfast and coffee. Or will head to brunch if too hungover.
Sunday I'll relax, probably finish the latest season of Squid Game and The Bear. Maybe practice the guitar and do some writing as I ease into Sunday night.
Life is swell.
Edit: 42 Male.
#49
I made the right decision 💰.
#50
Probably for the best that I missed that boat.
#51
In my 50's, never married and never wanted kids. I could not imagine living any other way.
#52
67 and no kids. Couldn't have any. I still wish every day that I had them.
#53
Feels like...Victory.
#54
Great! Its 9am on a Saturday, relaxing in bed with my husband with our cats, going to garden for a bit, then we will go town for dinner and a movie then we are going to sleep in our guest cabin tonight just for fun. Every night is date night, we eat what we want, get high when we want, etc. Our niece and nephews spend time with us in the summers and love their lives when they are here.
#55
Sorry, I couldn't hear you through these piles of money. But I have generous, ample free time for dorking around on Reddit because all my free time is genuinely completely free.
#56
Relaxing, comforting, exhilarating and oh so glorious. My husband and I have the extra time and money to do whatever we want whenever we want. Amazing s*x, travelling, enjoying multiple hobbies, spending time together and with friends/family, sleeping in, no stress, 24/7 happiness, shopping, learning new things, etc.
#57
Amazing- I have plenty of my two favorite things: silence and money.
#58
30 years after I knew I didn’t want them, ship has sailed physically, and not one doubt or regret that no kids was for me. Life has been an adventure, impossibly had with kids in tow.
#59
No regret. Some of us are cut out for parenting, and some of us aren't. So glad that all choices are celebrated.
#60
I buy myself things. Things I don’t even need sometimes.
#61
It feels exactly as I'd hoped it would.
#62
Just bought a switch 2 just for me. I get up at 9am and make myself an americano. I take a number 2 with no one banging on the door. No worries about kids hearing my special naughty time with my wife. If we want to go somewhere on a whim we do. I have time to enjoy the hobbies I have. If i need a kid fix I babysit my nieces and nephews, fill em up with bad stuff and send them back to their parents.
#63
It feels just fine! If you look close enough, you’ll quickly find very many people who need love and kindness.
#64
I am fine. I would have loved to have kids but never found the right person. That hasn’t stopped me from
Living a great life.
#65
Like a relief. It’s easier to save a little money for traveling which is me and my partner’s favorite thing to do. I am always exhausted after the work week and the thought of having to take care of kids in addition to basic adulting makes me so anxious. I’m also happy that we don’t have to shlep a bunch of stuff every time we leave the house nor do we have to worry about our neurosis rubbing off on any offspring.
#66
Going to gym whenever we want. Waking up whenever we want. Feels like I have no responsibility outside of work and my wife.
#67
I was a heavy drinker for years, so any children of mine would not have fared well. I'm happy with my decision not to have any.
#68
I just looked at my investment accounts. I’m good with it 😅.
#69
I can give you two perspectives and they are both true. I am in my 50s and live a good life. I have a beautiful home (albeit small) and friends I can rely on in difficult times. I make a decent living. I have no complaints. However in the depths of my soul I wish I’d had kids. Even if it meant I would have struggled. The thing I learned is struggle doesn’t escape most people in life but we get through it. Also children don’t stay small forever. So, yes if I could do it all over again I would have had children—even if it meant being a single Mom.
#70
I'm an uncle. That's fulfilling enough.
#71
Honestly I think about this a lot as we now have a lot of money and time. We go on several epic vacations every year and have zero budgeting, pretty much just buy whatever we want and max out 4 retirement accounts and throw a bunch in savings. Feels like a rock star a lot of times.
I will say had my twin bro not had kids whom I’m very close to I probably would have felt more compelled to have kids, my wife didn’t really want them tho.
#72
Feels good man.
