Whether Die Hard qualifies as a Christmas film or not is a debate as old as time… well, since 1988. It results in arguments on the couch as its end credits are rolling, and fights over the remote as siblings battle it out for which film to watch. For all I know, it’s broken up families. And I’m here to add my two cents.
Die Hard is NOT a Christmas movie. It never was, and never will be.
Back in the day, a fellow PEDESTRIAN.TV writer argued that not only is it a Christmas movie, but it’s the greatest of all time. With all due respect, she’s wrong.
I have the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) on my side to back me up. It surveyed 2,000 Brits to investigate the UK’s festive film preferences, and 44 per cent of respondents came back and said Die Hard is ~not~ a Christmas movie.
Yes, it’s a close call, with 38 per cent backing its festive credentials, and 17 per cent keeping their position on the fence, but majority rules, right?
Don’t come for me for presenting cold, hard facts, okay? Let’s get into it.
Die Hard was released in July
What Christmas movie is hitting cinemas in July? I know a lot of us get excited for the festive season, but come on. Die Hard came out right in the middle of the American summer blockbuster season. And while I wasn’t alive when it was being advertised to audiences for the first time, all signs point to it being marketed and positioned as an action movie, not a holiday one.
Christmas is an incidental part of the plot, not central
One of the biggest points Die Hard-is-a-Christmas-movie supporters looove to argue is “it’s set on Christmas Eve! How can you say that it isn’t a Christmas movie?” And to that, I posit: just because it’s set on Christmas Eve doesn’t make it a Christmas film.
The key difference between a proper Christmas movie and Die Hard is that the fact that it’s Christmas isn’t crucial to the plot. The terror attack on the Nakatomi building could happen literally any time of the year. Valentine’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving — even a random Tuesday would work just fine. It’s just a coincidence that it unfolds at the office Christmas party.
And I’m not the only one who thinks so.
Macaulay Culkin, who’s essentially the king of Christmas movies thanks to his starring role as Kevin McCallister in Home Alone (1990), was recently booed in an interview with Mythical Kitchen for being the bearer of truth.
“No, no it’s not. Don’t fight me!” Culkin said.
“It’s based around Christmas, but if it were also St. Patrick’s Day, it would still work. But you couldn’t do Home Alone on Memorial Day. It doesn’t work that way.”
He also used his Christmas movie status as leverage, saying he has some sway in the argument because he’s “the godfather of Christmas nowadays.”
I’m with him on this one.
Genre first, holiday second
Die Hard is an action-thriller to its core. It has the plot, tone, structure and pacing of a blockbuster action film, not a Christmas one. I’m not saying action films can’t double as festive movies, but when you strip away the tinsel, Die Hard still functions exactly the same. A superhero movie set during February 14th doesn’t make it a holiday romance film — it’s an irrelevant aspect of the plot line. All heroes have their love interests, but they’re not marketing Captain America as a must-see chick flick.
A good one-liner and a couple Christmas songs don’t qualify
Are there sprinkles of festivities here and there throughout Die Hard? Absolutely. There are a couple of Christmas songs, and a dead terrorist who is decked out in a Santa hat and a sweater that reads: “Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho”.
That’s about as Christmassy as the film gets. Even then, a one-liner doesn’t really turn a film about murder and bloodshed into one that speaks to the spirit of Christmas.
And sure, the film ends on John McClane (Bruce Willis) and Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) driving off with Let It Snow playing in the background, but it doesn’t leave you with a festive feeling. It’s more like a ‘narrowly avoided murder’ sense of relief, if you ask me.
I’m not saying Die Hard is a bad film. It’s a great film, in fact. And sure, it’s a film best enjoyed in December, but that doesn’t mean it qualifies as a Christmas movie.
Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
Image credit: Disney+
The post No, Die Hard Is Not A Christmas Movie & I Will Fight Anyone Who Says Otherwise appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
