Sometimes, when a character returns to EastEnders, their motive for doing so can be a real headscratcher. Take Stacey Slater, for example. The world is full of places where she hasn’t murdered anyone, or been implicated in a separate murder, or been raped, or had an affair with her boyfriend’s dad, or witnessed her boyfriend falling off a building to his death, or watched her own mum stab herself in the stomach. And yet, despite all this, she recently decided to move back to Albert Square. From this, it’s probably safe to assume that Stacey Slater is an irreparable wazzock.
Meanwhile, Nick Cotton is also about to return to EastEnders, and not a single person has questioned his motives. My theory is that this is because Nick Cotton doesn’t actually have any motives. He’s simply an agent of chaos. He’s Freddy Krueger. He’s the black-eyed ghost child. He’s a warped east-end version of Anton Chigurh with inexplicably worse hair, who exists purely to unsettle you by swinging around in his chair and growling, “Hello, mum.”
It’s exciting to see Nick Cotton again, because he’s the closest thing that EastEnders can ever get to an out-and-out monster. This has always been the case – the very first scene of the very first episode revolved around the discovery of a man murdered by Nick. And, ever since, he managed to perpetually lurk on the fringes of the show. Perhaps that’s why nobody on EastEnders can ever allow themselves a moment of contentment. Perhaps it’s because they know they’re being stalked by a vampire.
Snarling, hunched and perpetually caked in grime and cigarette smoke, Nick exists solely to ruin lives. There was the time when, masked with a terrifying Night of the Hunter faux-religious fury, he attempted to poison his mother. There was the time he faked Aids, the time he stabbed a man to death in the throes of cold turkey, the time he tampered with the brakes of a motorbike and caused a boy to die. The last time we saw him, he’d given birth to one of the twins from The Shining, convinced his mother that she suffered from Alzheimer’s and then got blown up in a cafe fire. You might think that it’d be hard to top any of that, but we’re talking about Nick Cotton here. Expectations are pointless.
The appeal of Nick Cotton is probably down to two factors. First, he never outstays his welcome. He sharks into Albert Square, wrecks everything for everybody and then sneaks away for a few years while his victims are still taking stock. His is a level of evil that couldn’t possibly be sustained if he was a regular character – before long he’d be forced to meaningfully communicate with other characters, or find himself involved in a funny subplot about trying to buy a silly hat for a dog. Instead he’s become EastEnders’ MOAB, used sparingly for maximum impact.
Second, it helps that his mum – and primary victim – is Dot Cotton. Whenever Nick does anything malicious, we see the repercussions play out across her face, and it’s always heartbreaking. When he shows up, he gives June Brown a chance to swing for the fences – to unleash a wave of tremulous, operatic, Shakespearian grief that’d look ridiculous if anyone else tried to attempt it – and EastEnders always hits new heights whenever she does. Without Dot Cotton around to react to him, you sense that Nick Cotton would be laughed out of town.
Sometimes EastEnders will feature a character who doesn’t fit with the rest of the show. Tamwar, for instance, treats EastEnders like it’s a low-budget mumblecore; and Sharon like it’s a remake of Pinocchio about a woman who’s found herself lumbered with a 1970s Athena pastel poster of a little girl instead of a real son. But whenever he shows his face, Nick Cotton drags the whole thing down to his level. Under his watch, EastEnders transforms into out-and-out horror. This is going to be a good Halloween for him.
