I’m usually never one to frown upon a good story. I love seeing things like the awkward guy getting the girl next door, the massive underdogs impossibly saving the day, and the flawed hero successfully confronting their past. These are stories that hold true because they speak to us and are relatable on a deep level.
In time, Tommy DeVito might be one of those heartwarming stories.
After throwing for 246 yards and three touchdowns in a 31-19 New York Giants win over the Washington Commanders on Sunday, it’s starting to look like this stereotypical kid from North Jersey (I mean this literally) might really belong in the NFL. And as great as that is for anyone who loves rooting for the underdog to impossibly save the day, DeVito playing well is bad news for the Giants.
Why? Because they are 3-8, have nothing to “save” anymore in 2023, and need a legitimate quarterback of the future. History may well prove me wrong, but I’m pretty comfortable asserting DeVito isn’t about to become the next Tom Brady. Suppose he continues to play well and somehow win more games for Big Blue. In that case, he’s just gonna be known as the guy who prevented the organization from drafting a legitimate long-term replacement like Southern California’s Caleb Williams or North Carolina’s Drake Maye. Heck, with this victory over the Commanders, DeVito might have already achieved the dubious honor.
This could be a black mark Giants fans won’t look fondly upon:
Wild finishes with Tommy DeVito getting a win, a Bears collapse, and the Cardinals falling short. https://t.co/AJoUOqeoKl pic.twitter.com/wcHGyFl5Xw
— Tankathon.com (@tankathon) November 19, 2023
There is a silver lining. At least DeVito has as many career multi-touchdown games (one) as Kenny Pickett. What a high bar:
Tommy DeVito now has more career games with multiple passing touchdown than Kenny Pickett
— Ian Hartitz (@Ihartitz) November 19, 2023
The hapless Giants aren’t going to give up on the season. Kudos to them and DeVito for continuing to play hard. They’re professionals. They should treat every game seriously and approach their fans’ emotional investments with care. But if general manager Joe Schoen and head coach Brian Daboll want any semblance of a bright future, they better be careful unleashing the King of North Jersey any further.
Because he risks sullying everything with his cliche and rote underdog story.
Elsewhere, in For The Win’s Week 11 NFL awards, we’ve got the bumbling Chicago Bears collapsing. We’ve got the bumbling Pittsburgh Steelers overanalyzing Myles Garrett for any hijinks. Heck, we’ve even got the bumbling Los Angeles Chargers dropping not one but two unfortunate touchdown passes in a one-score loss. It’s a cornucopia of accidental pro football incompetence as we near Thanksgiving, dearest readers.
Let’s dive into all this madness.
Best touchdown despite insurmountable odds: This Tyreek Hill score against the Raiders
Tyreek Hill is used to creating unimaginable magic for the Miami Dolphins. He’s a one-man show who makes something out of nothing like the best of them. But this 38-yard touchdown where the receiver was surrounded by Las Vegas Raiders defenders and still scored was like he pulled a rabbit out of his hat.
I still have no idea how he accomplished this:
TYREEK IS TOO QUICK
📺: #LVvsMIA on CBS
📱: Stream on #NFLPlus https://t.co/jckqnJwdb2 pic.twitter.com/WjVbBUAIbv— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2023
Best way to quash a beef: Jerry Jones, by giving Jimmy Johnson a surprise face-to-face
Most football fans are familiar with Jones and Johnson’s falling out during the Dallas Cowboys’ 1990s dynasty. That’s what made it so heartening to see Jones finally swallow his pride and reveal that Johnson would be deservedly inducted into the franchise’s ring of honor.
Just look at those smiles!
On December 30, @JimmyJohnson will be inducted into the @dallascowboys Ring of Honor 🤩
Congrats, Jimmy 👏 pic.twitter.com/nXLIl3DG6Z
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) November 19, 2023
Best celebration acknowledging your roots: Tommy DeVito, by pinching his fingers
All conversations about his and the Giants’ future aside, there’s something delightful about watching Tommy DeVito live up to every North Jersey stereotype on a football field. The NFL might be a multi-billion dollar industry but I don’t think it can handle this much Italian essence in one place:
DeVito ➡️ Barkley
The @Giants score their first touchdown in the first quarter of a game this season 🔥
📺: FOX pic.twitter.com/IXTdzmRhOf
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) November 19, 2023
Best unconventional pregame warmup: C.J. Stroud, while invoking basketball and golf
Whatever C.J. Stroud is doing this season, it’s clearly working. The rookie quarterback is not only the runaway favorite for Offensive Rookie of the Year, but he’s probably heavily involved in the MVP race. On Sunday, we received a glimpse of how the Houston Texans franchise quarterback apparently warms up to throw before every game.
He shoots jumpers with a basketball and even uses a golf swing trainer. None of that sentence is a joke, folks.
C.J. Stroud may be the new pregame QB routine GOAT@HoustonTexans pic.twitter.com/NEacm7tHVG
— NFL on CBS 🏈 (@NFLonCBS) November 19, 2023
Worst drop with a usually reliable reputation: Keenan Allen, after losing a would-be touchdown
One day, Keenan Allen might enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Since entering the NFL in 2013, he’s undoubtedly been one of football’s more consistently excellent playmakers. But even amidst a mostly sterling performance against the Green Bay Packers on Sunday, Allen dropped a score (that was in his chest!) that had fantasy managers positively reeling.
I totally get it because this was brutal:
Keenan Allen with one of the worst drops you’ll ever see.
Wide open for a touchdown…..
pic.twitter.com/nexjqbA7eq— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) November 19, 2023
Worst confusing reaction to getting pulled: Bears OT Braxton Jones, after cussing someone out
While the Bears were busy blowing a huge lead to the Detroit Lions, something appeared to bother Braxton Jones. He had to come off the field and be examined in the medical tent — a fact he did not appreciate with a profane reaction. I’m still not quite sure what made him this upset.
(Warning: NSFW reaction in the video below.)
Chicago Bears lineman Braxton Jones says that he had vision issues — in slightly different words.pic.twitter.com/WJpVXquR9u
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) November 19, 2023
Worst drop with the game on the line: Quentin Johnston against the Packers
A 2023 first-round draft selection, Johnston is busy trying to stave off conversations that he’s already a bust. This drop against the Packers — where he bobbled a deep pass with roughly five yards of separation — is not going to help Johnston’s case in that regard.
Just imagine this Chargers team with youngsters like Zay Flowers or Jordan Addison instead. Ah, well, nevertheless:
Quentin Johnston could have won this game for the Chargers pic.twitter.com/v9dUQj1OVr
— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) November 19, 2023
Worst indication nothing has changed: Matt Eberflus' Bears on this Aidan Hutchinson strip-sack
The Bears held a 12-point lead with just over three minutes to go against the rival Lions. They forced four turnovers and, for most of the afternoon, Justin Fields played like a heroic difference-making quarterback. But then trademark conservative coaching by Matt Eberflus led to an epic collapse, which was perfectly punctuated by Aidan Hutchinson below.
The Bears are one of the NFL’s most popular teams. By far. But they are also a bottom-feeder that desperately needs a change:
AIDAN. HUTCHINSON.
📺: #CHIvsDET on FOX
📱: Stream on #NFLPlus https://t.co/jckqnJwdb2 pic.twitter.com/tuWDh0Mjcg— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2023
Worst way to take care of players: The Commanders, who had no hot water in their outdated stadium
Josh Harris is the Washington Commanders’ new owner, but there appear to still be some unfortunate holdovers from the Dan Snyder era. Namely, on Sunday, it was that neither the Commanders nor Giants had hot water in Washington’s archaic stadium.
I mean, c’mon. Guys should be able to practice good hygiene after a 60-minute football game. This isn’t acceptable:
Giants’ and Commanders’ locker rooms at FedEx Field have no hot water for showers.
A Commanders’ official said: “We had an equipment failure in the main water heater that provides hot water to the field level locker rooms. We can’t resolve the matter without completely shutting…
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) November 19, 2023
Worst entrance to a game: Zach Wilson, while resembling Bambi for the Jets
Coming off a tough Sunday night loss to the Raiders, the New York Jets needed Zach Wilson to be their leader. They needed him to take control of the game against a hurting Buffalo Bills team. Instead, Wilson gave everyone a free preview of an abysmal performance (7-of-15, 81 yards, one touchdown, one pick) when he fell down as he walked onto the field for New York’s first offensive possession. Bambi couldn’t have done it better in that burning forest.
If that doesn’t sum up the Jets’ misery in 2023, I don’t know what does:
honestly if you imagine Zach Wilson is a baby duckling he becomes a lot easier to understand pic.twitter.com/iNzimKKNg6
— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) November 19, 2023
Best claim of innocence: Myles Garrett, after harmlessly picking up a Steelers helmet
While the Cleveland Browns’ defense was busy humbling the Steelers’ pathetic offense on Sunday, Myles Garrett found himself in possession of a rolling Pittsburgh helmet. He obviously had no intent of doing anything (gestures broadly) with the metal head protector, but that didn’t stop the Steelers from being reminded of what he once did to Mason Rudolph.
Garrett’s “innocent!” reaction to seeing the Steelers act like this was priceless:
The much more chill version of Myles Garrett with a Steelers helmet in his hand pic.twitter.com/EcP2f7tOca
— NFL on CBS 🏈 (@NFLonCBS) November 19, 2023
Worst-timed pre-workout drink: Micah Parsons, before dominating the Panthers
Look, anyone who has consumed an energy drink before, let alone a pre-workout, knows how volatile these concoctions can be. One of the last things a human being with a human digestive system should do is consume one right before they bash around with 300-pound monsters for three hours.
That seems to be precisely what the Dallas Cowboys’ Micah Parsons did on Sunday. Unsurprisingly, he vomited twice mid-game because his body — which is mortal like ours — couldn’t take it. Lesson learned (I hope):
Micah Parsons was not sick. He took some C4 energy powder before the game. “I got some water to help put it down. By the fifth play it felt like my heart was gonna jump outta my chest. I felt like I was about to explode. I’m never doing that shit again.”
— Jon Machota (@jonmachota) November 19, 2023
