Can Carson Palmer replicate last season’s production at age 37?
The 2015 campaign was a magical one for the Arizona Cardinals’ quarterback. He ranked second in the league in touchdowns and fourth in total passing yards. There were career highs across the board on his stat sheet, and he led Arizona to the NFC title game — coming up short against the Cam Newton juggernaut in Carolina. This sounds like it should bode well for the Cardinals in 2016, but those gaudy, MVP-calibre numbers came after a season where Palmer played only six games due to injury. He’ll be turning 37 in December and while the quarterback position might be the safest it’s ever been in the modern NFL, age catches up to you. In his 13-year career, he’s only played every game in a season seven times. For comparison, Tom Brady — who’s 39 and has even more miles on him due to all his deep playoff runs — has played all 16 games in 13 out of 16 seasons. A regression seems likely, just because the idea of Palmer having back-to-back hall of fame-level seasons is hard to count on.
If he can stay on the field for the majority of the year, Palmer will certainly have plenty of weapons at his disposal — Larry Fitzgerald, John Brown, JJ Nelson, and Michael Floyd in the receiving corps, plus multiple running back options — which should make the Cardinals the favorite in the division on paper. Of course, there’s the old cliche about how they don’t play the games on paper, which would be quite a sight to behold if they did. People would be slipping all over the place.
Is Doug Baldwin now Russell Wilson’s favorite target?
If you had Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Doug Baldwin on your fantasy team last year, you probably won your league, or at least made it to the playoffs, just on the strength of a remarkable second half. A knee injury cost Seattle tight end Jimmy Graham in week 12, which took away one of Russell Wilson’s favorite passing options. Baldwin stepped up and scored 11 touchdowns in the final six games of the season. Graham will be back eventually, if not for week one, as he is still listed as questionable for the clash with the Miami Dolphins. Will Baldwin keep seeing the touches he got with Graham back? After signing a new deal with Seattle in June, will he still be as motivated?
More importantly, will Russell Wilson still be motivated now that he’s had sex with Ciara (don’t blame us, they’re the ones that brought it up)? This will be his first full NFL season after consummating his marriage. It changes you.
Regardless, Seattle still has an exceptional defense and is easily one of the elite teams in the NFC. It’ll be quite a battle between the Seahawks and Cardinals for the division title, though I fully expect both teams to secure playoff spots.
Is Jared Goff already a bust?
I don’t know if I can even answer this question without smashing my laptop with a tire iron. The Los Angeles Rams surrendered six draft picks for the right to select Cal quarterback Goff at No1. Hailed as the quarterback of the future, it was assumed that he would ease into the role of the starter during the season — not right away, but eventually.
Then we saw him play professional football. Sure, it was the preseason, but of the three QBs at camp for the Rams (Goff, Case Keenum and Sean Mannion) Goff looked the worst, not only technically, but also in terms of poise and football intelligence. Yes, he’s a rookie. Sure, learning an NFL playbook and understanding how to run an NFL offense is like being forced to learn open-heart surgery while a 300lbs man threatens to kick the crap out of you. The problem is that while these are common issues for rookie quarterbacks, most of them don’t cost their team six draft picks that could have shored up other glaring issues with one of the NFL’s worst offenses.
Even if Goff magically climbs up the depth chart — he’s currently the third-string quarterback on a team that’s starting Keenum — he’s still not going to have anyone to throw to. The Rams’ best wide receiver is the mercurial Tavon Austin. Maybe you can see something in Kenny Britt that I don’t. This is going to be a very, very bad team save for their excellent defensive line and running back Todd Gurley, the reigning rookie of the year. It’s not fair to call Goff a bust before the season even starts, but it’s more than fair to say that he was not worth what they gave up. Instead of a transformational figure to usher in a new era in LA, the Rams might have found themselves a new Sam Bradford, who they’d likely love to have back, which reveals a very sad truth about the state of this football team. I’d say they’d finish dead-last in the NFC West if it weren’t for the 49ers.
Outside of the Colin Kaepernick circus, is there any reason to watch the 49ers?
“That’s one thing you like about Blaine [Gabbert]’s makeup, there are not too-high highs or too-low lows,” new San Francisco coach Chip Kelly said about his starting quarterback. “He’s very steady in his approach. You get the same Blaine Gabbert every day and I think that’s a good thing, especially at the quarterback position.” Imagine waking up every day and thanking the lord that your starting quarterback is Blaine Gabbert. I can’t just see the ceiling, the top of my head is currently rubbing against it.
Such is the nature of the NFL today — the age of the game manager. Peyton Manning had the worst season of his entire career last year, and still won a Super Bowl for the Denver Broncos thanks to their next-level defense. His back-up, Brock Osweiler, earned himself a four-year, $72m contract with the Houston Texans off of a few solid performances while Manning was benched for poor play. The Broncos’ new starter is Trevor Siemian, who was the 250th pick in the 2015 Draft. He was so sure he wouldn’t get drafted that he had a job lined up in commercial real estate to fall back on. The only time he’s ever played in the NFL was taking a knee against Pittsburgh last year. Hearing that, does Gabbert even sound that bad?
The 49ers got to this point out of sheer front office ineptitude and instability. The coaching musical chairs post-Jim Harbaugh finally landed on Chip Kelly, who was run out of Philadelphia because his players did not seem to like him. He’s inherited a team that is only a few years removed from a Super Bowl appearance and a back-up quarterback in Colin Kaepernick, who makes more news for sitting than he does for playing. Their main running back, Carlos Hyde, was not able to stay healthy last year. Worst of all, they play in a division with the Seahawks and Cardinals. Their defense is nowhere near as competent as the Rams’, though they will surely battle them for offensive futility all season. Their first game is at home against the Rams on Monday night — two teams separated by seven hours worth of driving down the 5 freeway, but united by futility. Like Alien Vs Predator, no matter who wins, we lose.
Predicted final standings
1) Seattle Seahawks
2) Arizona Cardinals
3) Los Angeles Rams
4) San Francisco 49ers
