Full-time: Newcastle 2-0 Liverpool
That is that. My, oh my. What a huge three points that is for Newcastle. The fans demanded a response from their team and they certainly got one and it came via what might have been Newcastle’s best performance of the season. What a difference a week makes. Liverpool were poor but that should not take away from McClaren’s side who were excellent almost from the off. That’s your lot from me. Thanks for all the thoughts and tweets and emails. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday. The last word goes to Jason Isaacs: “I blame you for this McCourt. You upset the natural order of things by naming Fargo as the best Coen Brothers film and look what happened in that Bizarro world you created. Boooo!”
Updated
This performance hasn’t always been pretty from Newcastle but this goal certainly is. Sissoko got the ball wide on the right. He held off his man and cantered forward before bending a beautiful pass through the Liverpool defence and into the path of Wijnaldum. Out came Mignolet but Wijnaldum just clipped the ball over him and into the net. Game. Over.
Updated
GOAL!!! Newcastle 2-0 Liverpool (Wijnaldum, 90 + 2 mins)
OH. My. Word.
Updated
90 mins There will be 5 minutes of time added on. The Newcastle fans boooooooooooooooooooooooo.
@ianmccourt Miller's Crossing... so often overlooked.
— Nick (@cliffdeford) December 6, 2015
Updated
89 mins Skrtel is now playing centre forward.
88 mins The camera pans to the home fans. They are all either praying or chewing on their cuticles. Back to the game. Another corner to Liverpool on the left. Skrtel goers for it but Janmaat clears. Moreno sends the ball in once more. This time Lovren, in time and space, gets his head on it but his effort is weak and Elliot collects it with ease.
87 mins Faustino is impressed. And so he should be.
Good shift @NUFC
— Faustino Asprilla (@TinoasprillaH) December 6, 2015
86 mins Allen wins a corner on the left. Milner takes the corner on the left. Elliot comes and gets closer to punching Lovren’s head than the ball. Speaking of Lovren, he fails to control his header from the corner and over it goes. This is not looking good for Liverpool right about now.
84 mins Have just seen a replay of that Moreno effort. He was about 10 meters onside. Deary me.
82 mins Cissé is replaced by Thauvin.
80 mins Liverpool have the ball in the net but ... it has been ruled out for offside but .. it should not have been! A lovely, raking diagonal pass by Milner to the back post found Moreno and his delicate first-time finish saw him loop the ball over Elliot and into the net. Up went the assistant referee’s flag but replays show he was oh so wrong.
Updated
78 mins Ah, here is some support for Barton Fink:
@ianmccourt Agree Lebowski overrated. What about Barton Fink? Awriter's life is hell. Great performance by John Goodman as the devil.
— Keith Hart (@johnkeithhart) December 6, 2015
77 mins Colback goes, Gouffran comes.
75 mins Lallana is fed the ball in the centre of park, just inside the Newcastle half. he looks up and sees the run of Sturridge. A perfectly weighted pass finds the right foot of the striker but all Sturridge can do is drag his effort well, well wide.
74 mins Klopp’s response is to bring on Origi for Ibe.
72 mins Newcastle deserved that. They really did. Liverpool have not been at the races today and Newcastle have looked up for it.
Updated
Well, well, well. This was not in the script was it? The ball was sent from the right into Wijnaldum in the box. His first touch was sloppy but the Liverpool defence failed to get close to him. He pushed the ball away from him and away from Lovren and, from a very tight angle, he cut a shot across the goal. It took a whopper of a deflection of Skrtel and the ball found its way into the back of the net.
6 - Most own goals in the @PremierLeague: R.Dunne - 10 M.Skrtel - 7 J.Carragher - 7 W.Brown - 6 P.Jagielka - 6 F. Sinclair - 6
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) December 6, 2015
Updated
GOAL!!! Newcastle 1-0 Liverpool (Skrtel OG, 69 mins)
Holy cow!
Updated
68 mins Pérez comes. De Jong goes. He gets a very decent reception from the crowd.
@ianmccourt As a neutral it's great to see plucky underdogs #LFC holding out desperately against aggressively pressing in-form team #NUFC.
— Alix Sharkey (@alixsharkey) December 6, 2015
67 mins “Barton Fink and Blood Simple are the hipster choices” says John Meyer. “I prefer Inside Llewyn Davis for its dark satire of the much mythologized Greenwich Village folk scene. Plus it gave us Oscar Isaac.”
64 mins Janmaat powers his way down the wing. He feeds the ball to Cissé (I think). The ball is relocated from a position wide on the right to the centre of the Liverpool box. In fact it relocates to the foot of De Jong. He is swiftly surrounded by Liverpool defenders and the ball is ushered out of the danger zone.
62 mins On they come. Benteke goes and so too does Firmino. Not many Liverpool fans will be sorry to see them go today. They’ve been poor. Lallana is welcomed to the game by being completely taken out of it by Cissé. He does not argue when the yellow is flashed.
60 mins Anita, who has been excellent today, is late on Allen and is duly rewarded with a yellow card. Down on the Liverpool bench, Lallana and Sturridge are getting ready to come on.
58 mins “Oh Brother Where Art Thou is a masterpiece,” reckons Glenn Kuly. “Oh Daniel Sturridge where art thou?” It can’t be too long before he comes on Glenn. They need his pace and runs right about now. Incidentally, there has not been much love for Barton Fink, which is a tad surprising.
Updated
56 mins Moreno has just done a foul throw. How often do you see that?
55 mins Colback gets the ball outside the box and feeds Wijnaldum. He has time and space to turn and shoot. That he does and his shot is deflected wide for a corner. That is swung in but Liverpool are able to deal with it. Right now, Newcastle are the better side and look the more liklely to score.
53 mins Coloccini dives two-footed into Ibe and yet escapes with just a stern talking to. How odd.
52 mins Down the right, Anita, Sissoko and Cissé combine to set up Wijnaldum for a decent chance at the front post. His effort ends up wide but if Klopp did say something about all the hay that Newcastle are making down the right, then Moreno clearly was not listening.
50 mins “No country has haunted my thoughts like an episode of Black Mirror,” says Niall Mullen. “What did it mean? Was I as stupid as the protagonists for caring about the McGuffin? Or is life just a series of McGuffins & all we can do is pretend that Javier Bardem doesn’t exist until he walks into our gas station? That said my desert island Coen Brothers movie is the Big Lebowski”
49 mins Firmino gains a measure of revenge on Colback. Colback thumps the ground to indicate how hurt he is. McClaren looks worried but Colback’ll be OK. The Brazilian escapes without a yellow card.
47 mins Milner powers his way down the left-hand side. He holds off a number of Newcastle shirts before feeding the ball to Firmino. He has a couple of players to his right but he decides to shoot. His effort is tame and it eventually crawls past the post and out for a goalkick to Newcastle.
45 mins And we are back. No changes to either side just yet but given how poor Benteke was in that first half, it probably shouldn’t be too long before the board flashes up and Sturridge or Origi enters.
Updated
@ianmccourt definitely not The Big Lebowski - however did that film become a cult? - tedious, not very real, not funny.
— Francis Mead (@francismead) December 6, 2015
“Even as someone who largely agrees with Mark Elliot about No Country For Old Men,” says Alex Hanton “the worst Coen Brothers movie is either the Ladykillers remake or that direct-to-video Colin Firth heist movie they wrote a few years back. Fargo’s definitely the best.”
@ianmccourt I haven't seen them all, but of the 15? I've seen "No Country" is my favorite. Hated "Raising Arizona."
— Kevin Simons (@kcsimons) December 6, 2015
Half-time: Newcastle 0-0 Liverpool
That’s your lot for now. Back in a few minutes after a quick cup o’tea.
44 mins Lucas goes in the book for tugging De Jong to the ground. Newcastle have a free-kick a good 40 yards out. Wijnaldum decides he can score from here. He is, of course, wrong.
Lucas has been booked 42 times since he last scored for Liverpool.
— Richard Jolly (@RichJolly) December 6, 2015
Updated
42 mins Corner to Newcastle. Janmaat gives the arms to the crowd to try get them going. They respond. The corner, meanwhile, is taken by Colback. It finds Cissé at the front post. He flicks it on and finds Mbemba. He could score but he doesn’t as his header goes over.
39 mins Oh Cissé! You really should’ve scored there. Coloccini won the ball on the edge of his won box. He strode forward and pass the ball on. Passes were exchanged in the middle of the park and Wijnaldum picked out the run of Cissé perfectly. The forward strode into the box but dallied too long on the ball and the Liverpool defence – specifically Skrtel – recovered and snuffed out the danger.
Updated
37 mins Newcastle attack once more down the right. Cissé’s pass, however, has just a touch too much on it for Sissoko and the ball waddles out for a goalkick to Liverpool, which is a shame as there was quite a few black and white shirts doing their best to get into the box. Klopp will be worried about just how much success Newcastle are having down that side.
Updated
35 mins “Thank you, Mark Elliot” says Marie Meyer. “I was expecting a “surprise twist” at the end wherein the Javier Bardeem character had a bit of skin peeled back to reveal that he was in fact a cyborg - there was no other possible explanation for his ability to continue to motor on. Fargo” is, of course, both the best Coen Brothers movie and the best movie ever filmed in Minnesota. If you go to the Fargo/Moorhead visitor centre, you can pose for a picture with the original wood chipper.”
33 mins Colback (needlessly) chops down Firmino, who had let the ball fo and was clearly going nowhere. He gets the game’s first yellow as his reward for his act of stupidity.
31 mins This is better from Newcastle. A nice diagonal pass makes its way to the back post. Cissé and Clyne struggle for it. Clyne wins and, from a few yards out, stings one across the goal and this far wide of the post. He should’ve scored but even if he did it would not have counted as he had shoved Clyne in the back during said struggle.
Updated
29 mins This is a scrappy affair. Neither side are stringing any passes together and neither side is attacking with any real verve. Saying that, Newcastle have just entered the Liverpool box thanks to a nice enough scooped pass from Wijnaldum. De Jong takes it down but Moreno has him covered and the away side soon regain possession.
Updated
27 mins “Maybe the debate should be, is No Country for Old Men the worst Coen Brothers film?” says Mark Elliott, who clearly wants to ruin Xmas for all of us by even suggesting such a thing. “I thought it was boring with too much gratuitous violence, just style over substance.” Meanwhile on the pitch, Liverpool have a corner. It is overhit and comes to nothing.
25 mins You will never see a goalkeeper get rid of the ball as quickly as Mignolet is today. Think Jürgen might have had a word with him about that.
23 mins Ah here. Come on now.
@ianmccourt My vote goes to A Serious Man
— Dan Lucas (@DanLucas86) December 6, 2015
21 mins A corner to Liverpool. Moreno takes. And it should’ve been a goal. It is nodded down by the shoulder of Allen and Benteke, a few yards out and with Elliot is No Man’s Land, should hammer it home. Except the ?Belgian hammers it over the bar. That’s a bad miss.
Updated
19 mins From a Liverpool attack, Wijnaldum breaks down the field. Once he reaches the centre circle, he is quite clearly taken down and it should be a foul. Only Andre Marriner waves his arms and tells him you have more chance of Manchester United playing some exciting football than of me giving you a free-kick for that. Wijnaldum does not look happy about that.
17 mins “I’ll fire some shots,” warns Sagar Deshpande. “Are the Coen Brothers any good?”
15 mins Newcastle have really settled down over the last few minutes. They don’t look nervous, they don’t look overawed, they are snapping into tackles, they are closing down Liverpool with speed. Of course, the question is, will they have the confidence to respond should they go a goal behind?
13 mins Cissé and Sissoko make some headway down the right. However, their luck runs out when the ball does. Goalkick to Liverpool.
11 mins “It’s got to be Fargo with my personal favourite O Brother, Where Art Thou?” says Ruth Purdue, with plenty of good sense.
9 mins Liverpool – well Lucas – get a taste of their own medicine as De Jong puts the pressure on him and forces the Brazilian into playing the ball back. Meanwhile, down the other end, Sissoko is dreaming about unicorns and so when Skrtel floats the ball over his head from the half-way line he does not see Moreno’s run. The full-back touches the ball across the Newcastle box but there is no one in there to take advantage of it and Elliot collects with ease.
Updated
7 mins “I assume you mean ‘best film after The Big Lebowski’” assumes Alasdair Murray. “Because otherwise there wouldn’t be a debate, surely?”
5 mins Liverpool have been dominating possession so far. They are pegging Newcastle into their own half and not really allowing them any breathing space on the ball. Saying that, some nice and neat football sees Newcastle sojourn forward. Anita pushes the ball down the inside-right channel looking to find the run of Cissé but Milner has it covered.
Updated
3 mins “Are we saying a ‘Coen film’ as a one they directed or wrote?” wonders Ruth Purdue. Let’s say directed, shall we?
2 mins Liverpool start by launching one long to Benteke. It results in Coloccini blocking a cross and a corner to Liverpool. Milner takes that and Colback scuffs it out for another one. Milner takes that again and after some dinging and donging around the box, the ball drops to Skrtel. His shot is deflected for the third corner of the game. That comes to nothing.
1 min Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Off we go. Liverpool get the game going, playing right to left. The camera pans to Klopp. He looks very serious.
Right so. Let’s get this Premier League party stared. The sides emerge from the safety, light and warmth of the tightly-packed tunnel into the unknown of a dark, cold-looking late afternoon in the north-east. The sides emerge in their tracksuit tops but soon shed them to reveal their traditional kits of black and white and red, respectively. Hands get shook and glances get exchanged before the two teams relocate to their starting positions. It’s almost time, folks. Any more thoughts on the Coen’s brothers’ best film?
Meanwhile on the TV:
Didi Hamann: "Firmino has not been a matchwinner just yet." Er, Manchester City?
— John Brewin (@JohnBrewinESPN) December 6, 2015
The Xmas No1 is here:
And there’s more ...
Some recommended pre-match reading for ya.
Wondering what Faustino Asprilla wants from this afternoon’s game? Wonder no more.
I'll love it if the toon beat Liverpool today ⚽️
— Faustino Asprilla (@TinoasprillaH) December 6, 2015
“Afternoon Ian,” cheers Tom Hopkins. “Glad to see the Guardian retains its fearless approach to tackling the big issues head on. That said, it’s Miller’s Crossing.”
Team news
Of course, the last time that McClaren came up against Klopp, McClaren was the manager of Wolfsburg. A 3-0 defeat and nine days later and he was the ex-manager of Wolfsburg. To stop history from repeating itself, the Englishman has made one change to his side that was walloped by Crystal Palace the other week. Siem de Jong comes in to replace Ayoze Pérez up front as part of Newcastle’s 4-4-2 approach. As for Liverpool, the big news is that Lucas Leiva and Joe Allen replace Emre Can and Adam Lallana while Daniel Sturridge and Jordan Henderson are on the bench. Due to a case of hamstring-twang, Philippe Coutinho is nowhere to be seen. Those teams in full then are as follows:
Newcastle United: Elliot; Janmaat, Mbemba, Coloccini, Dummett; Anita, Colback, Sissoko, Wijnaldum; De Jong, Cissé. Subs: Gouffran, Pérez, Thauvin, Darlow, Sterry, Mbabu, Mitrovic.
Liverpool: Mignolet, Clyne, Skrtel, Lovren, Moreno, Lucas, Allen, Milner, Ibe, Firmino, Benteke Subs: Bogdan, Touré, Henderson, Sturridge, Lallana, Origi, Randall.
Referee: Andre Marriner
Inside the away dressing room at St James' Park this afternoon. #LFC pic.twitter.com/BjZvWEZprV
— Liverpool FC (@LFC) December 6, 2015
Updated
Hello. How are you?
You’ve seen No Country for Old Men, right? Of course, you have. It’s one of their best. Not their best. That’s Fargo. But it’s still a belter. Anyway. Two questions. Is Anton Chigurh’s haircut the scariest thing to ever appear on the silver screen? And do you remember that scene about 36 minutes and 42 second in, where Wendell and Sheriff Bell are examining the sun-dunked desert scene that is scatted with nine millimetre casings, dead bodies and Mexican brown dope? It’s the one where Wendell turns to Bell and says: “It’s a mess, ain’t it Sheriff?” And Bell replies: “If it ain’t, it’ll do ‘til a mess gets here.” You remember those words, right? Remind you of any north-east Premier League club that play in black and white stripes with a former England manager as their recently-enough appointed new boss? Of course they do.
It’s not looking good for Steve McClaren or Newcastle, is it? Many of the players look as disinterested as the club’s owner and their attitude (and well as their complete and utter lack of confidence) is reflected in the results on the pitch. Fourteen games deep into the season and the only thing that separates this side from the bottom spot is one of the worst Aston Villa teams in living memory. They have just seven points from their last six matches; they are averaging exactly a goal per game this season; and, ahead of this weekend’s round of fixtures, they have the joint worst defence in the league. Alan Shearer summed it up pretty well. “You cannot coach players who don’t want to be coached, who are not good enough,” he said. “They have got too many Monday to Friday players – good in training, but don’t want to perform on a Saturday.”
Who knows if they are even good in training and, indeed, who cares. All that matters is this squad of players – who are a bit like one of those houses in The Hoarder Next Door, stuffed with junk and in need of a serious decluttering – are not doing it when it matters. Chief among them is their captain Fabricio Coloccini, who does not seem to be able to cope with the physical nature of the league anymore and, were it not for a touch of muscle-twang for Mike Williamson, would be watching today’s game from the safety of the bench) But he is not the only one. Aleksandar Mitrovic arrived to the tune of £12.5m and announced he was going to be the new Shearer. Admittedly he has been staved of service but having almost as many red cards as he has goals is just not good enough. Then there is Moussa Sissoko or Jack Colback or Gini Wijnaldum or ... the list goes on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on.
McClaren could, of course, take the Homer Simpson approach and say it was like that when he got here. And he’d have a point – the club has been a mess for quite some time now. But things have not improved significantly since he took over and this season Newcastle often look like a team who are playing without a plan. That – as well the form of the side – has led to whispers that McLaren will no longer call St James’ Park his home. Whispers he is realistic enough to be aware of. “It’s football so you never know,” he said. “You go into every job knowing the impatience of football and that you need results. We know the situation is game to game and that we’re fighting for results.”
To make matters worse, they are going to be fighting for results against a Liverpool side that are bang in form at the moment. Since they got their first victory under Jürgen Klopp – the 1-0 over Bournemouth – they have not looked back, winning all but one of their last six games in all competitions. The win over Chelsea was impressive but the way they demolished Manchester City and then Southampton was astounding. Could you’ve seen those sorts of performances under Brendan Rodgers? No, didn’t think so. And to top it all off a certain Daniel Sturridge, though not looking quite match fit just yet, is back and is scoring. No wonder those Liverpool fans are smiling right now.
One last thing before we wrap up this preamble. What do those wins against Chelsea, City and Southampton all have in common? Think about it. Got it? Right, well we haven’t got all day, so we’re just going to have to tell you. They all came away from home. Like we said earlier, it’s not looking good for McLaren and Newcastle, is it? Team news and and, let’s be honest, a Liverpool victory are on their way.
Kick-off: 4pm
Updated
