FULL TIME: Newcastle United 2-1 Chelsea
So there goes Chelsea’s unbeaten record. And Jose’s still not won a league game at Newcastle. But to be fair to the Chelsea manager, he embraces the fourth official with a smile, then offers Pardew a warm handshake. Well done to Newcastle, their two-goal hero Papiss Cisse, and their two goalkeepers, especially the young Jak Alnwick, making his debut against the Premier League favourites. And god speed young Rob Elliot Jnr.!
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90 min +5: Ivanovic has a rake from 30 yards. The ball flies roughly 30 yards over the bar, and wide left to boot. Alnwick takes an age over his goal kick. Mourinho really isn’t happy with this carry-on. He’s audacious, you’ve got to give him that.
90 min +4: A long throw into the Newcastle box from the right. Terry gets a head to it, but the effort squirts harmlessly wide left.
90 min +3: Alnwick hoofs long. Courtois, in the middle of his own half, meets the drop kick with a volley! You don’t see that every day.
90 min +2: Two more corners for Chelsea. Sissoko heads the first behind. Alnwick claims the second to great cheers, then goes down on one knee, in the style of an NFL quarterback running down the clock. Terry opens his mouth, and a complaint falls out. Perhaps a wee swearie too.
90 min +1: There will be six added minutes. The crowd aren’t happy, as you’d expect. Schurrle is found in acres down the right, and he sends a dangerous ball into the middle, but he’s offside.
90 min: But not much! First Filipe Luis sends a low fizzing effort goalwards. It’s parried by Alnwick. Then Janmaat sends a ridiculous header into his own six-yard box. Ivanovic sends a weak header bouncing apologetically towards the bottom right. Alnwick gathers.
89 min: Diego Costa has a whack from the edge of the area. It’s straight at Alnwick, but going in, and the young debutant keeper is forced to fingertip over. The corner is cleared by Dummett, whose towering header gives Newcastle a little respite.
88 min: Mikel, on the edge of the centre circle, rakes a high diagonal ball towards Drogba, cutting in from the left, on the edge of the Newcastle box. Drogba meets the ball brilliantly, first time, but his volley lashes the side netting. Newcastle faff around again at the restart, as they’ve been doing for a while to Mourinho’s annoyance.
86 min: The corner finds the head of Cahill, who nearly plants a header into the right-hand side of the net. But Alnwick has read it well, and clutches the ball to his chest. This is Premier League football at its brilliant, shabby, all-over-the-place best!
85 min: Chelsea earn a corner down the right. Before it can be taken, the referee has a word with Coloccini and Ivanovic, who had enjoyed a little coming together down the right.
84 min: Just before the free kick, Alan Pardew remanned his defence by swapping Ameobi for Williamson. This is going to be one hell of a denouement!
GOAL! Newcastle United 2-1 Chelsea (Drogba 83)
Yes it certainly could! The resulting free kick, taken by Fabregas 30 yards out down the right, is swung into the middle. Alnwick comes off his line, but too late, as Drogba rises highest and plants a header into the top left. This is on!
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RED CARD! Taylor sent off!
81 min: Taylor and Coloccini chase Drogba, who is making off down the inside-right channel. Before the striker can reach the box, he’s bundled over. Taylor’s already been booked, and a second yellow earns him an early bath. Could this change everything?
79 min: Chelsea’s unbeaten record is under threat here all right! Fabregas, the funk on, is booked while Newcastle celebrate. Then just after the restart, so is Diego Costa for a clumsy clatter on Janmaat.
GOAL! Newcastle United 2-0 Chelsea (Cisse 78 min)
Colback storms through the middle of the park, and slides Sissoko free down the left-hand channel! Sissoko should score, but lets the ball clank between his feet. No matter, because he’s drawn Courtois from the goal, and manages to shuttle the ball right for Cisse, who slams into the unguarded net! A mere 38 seconds after Hazard hit the post!
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77 min: Chelsea are so unlucky here. A ball’s pulled back from the byline on the right. Hazard, 12 yards out, sidefoots wonderfully, wrongfooting a rooted Alnwick, the ball rolling into the right-hand corner. Or not quite. It hits the base of the right-hand post, and away from danger. So unfortunate, especially as ...
76 min: Mikel glides in from the left and floats a ball towards Drogba, 12 yards out and level with the right-hand post. Drogba heads down for Costa, who should batter home from the penalty spot. But he faffs around, and his eventual effort is blocked. The ball rolls to Mikel, who started all, this, 25 yards out. Mikel finishes it, and in some style, though not the kind Chelsea are desirous of. He hoicks a dismal effort many yards right of the goal. Dear oh dear.
75 min: Newcastle break upfield. Brief respite, and nearly a chance, as Sissoko and Cisse come close to breaking Chelsea apart with a snappy one-two down the left. But it doesn’t come off. Chelsea break upfield, and Tiote picks up a booking in the midfield by putting a stop to Hazard’s gallop.
73 min: A couple of corners for Chelsea, first from the left, then from the right. On both occasions, Alnwick bravely deals with the danger by punching clear with purpose.
72 min: Newcastle’s training ground drills are paying off right now. Chelsea are flinging high crosses into their area from hither and yon, but Coloccini and Taylor are standing firm.
70 min: Costa curls a cross into the Newcastle area from the left. Coloccini heads clear, under pressure from Drogba. Chelsea come again, and again, but the home team hold firm. Already this is beginning to look like attack versus defence.
68 min: Azpilicueta attempts to get round Perez down the left, but he’s ushered out of play. He runs back onto the pitch, but might as well not have bothered, as he’s immediately replaced by Filipe Luis. It’s a double substitution by Mourinho, as Willian is swapped for Drogba. That’s Chelsea played their hand. It’s not quite the 2005 FA Cup tie, where Mourinho made three changes at half-time and watched in horror as, thanks to injury and indiscipline, his team ended the game with eight-and-a-half men. But it brings back memories, nonetheless. This will be a fascinating closing phase.
65 min: Schurrle busies himself to win a corner down the right, but nothing much comes of it. Chelsea looks a little flustered here. A lot of frowning, hands on hips, and the odd misplaced pass. Balls aren’t quite sticking to feet as they were doing earlier. Plenty of time for the league leaders to sort this out, so no need to get hectic yet.
64 min: Schurrle is booked for clattering into the back of Colback as the Newcastle midfielder was in mid-air, executing a header. He doesn’t bother complaining. Well, not too much. A fair enough decision.
62 min: A deep cross into the Newcastle box from the right. Azpilicueta beats Willian to the header, and makes a holy mess of it. Chelsea launch a second phase of attack, which culimates in Schurrle skelping a low shot towards the bottom right from 25 yards. Alnwick is behind it all the way to gather, his first meaningful save as Newcastle’s number one. He might need to make one or two more this afternoon.
61 min: Chelsea won’t be panicking yet, but they’re concerned enough to make a change. Schurrle comes on for Oscar.
60 min: And Chelsea are suddenly rocking a little, Cahill again with a miskick, this time slicing a simple clearance out for a corner down the left. The set piece is sent into the middle, where first Cisse, then Dummett, win headers by the left-hand post. Dummett’s finds Sissoko in the middle, and the midfielder should score, eight yards out. But he sends his header over the bar. So close to a second goal, one that really would put the wind up the league leaders.
GOAL! Newcastle United 1-0 Chelsea (Cisse 57)
Ameobi opens his legs down the left, making his way towards the byline. He whips a low ball into the centre. It should be cleared, but Cahill miskicks, allowing the ball to make it to Cisse, who prods home from six yards! As simple as they come, but that’s a predatory striker at his best!
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56 min: Taylor is booked for wrapping his arm around Willian’s neck as the pair battle for a high ball down the Chelsea left. The free kick should lead to the opening goal, Fabregas curling the ball into the mixer, Alnwick rooted to his goalline. Mikel should head home, but somehow sends his effort well wide left. A dreadful miss. And it costs Chelsea, because ...
55 min: Newcastle push Chelsea back impressively, the full backs prominient. Janmaat probes down the right, then Dummett attempts to whistle a ball into the danger zone from the left. Chelsea soak it all up with relative ease, mind you, Newcastle gifted no space or time whatsoever to take a shot.
53 min: Cabella is hooked in favour of Cisse.
51 min: On the touchline, Jose Mourinho is in animated discussion with the fourth official, apparently unhappy at the amount of time Newcastle are taking to restart the game whenever the ball goes dead. Given his side’s, eh, measured approach at Anfield towards the end of last season, in that match Chelsea’s fans were singing about earlier, you have to admire the manager’s chutzpah. Beautifully brazen. You wouldn’t have him any other way.
49 min: This could have got them jangling again, however. Oscar diddles into space down the right, and fizzes a low ball into the six-yard box. Alnwick can’t get down to smother it, and Taylor is forced to slice awkwardly over his own bar from six yards out. The corner comes to nothing.
48 min: Sissoko earns a yellow card that sees him suspended for the upcoming trip to Arsenal. He can have no complaints, scything Azpilicueta down, 30 yards from the goal. Fabregas lobs the free kick into the area, and Alnwick punches clear with confidence, taking Diego Costa out as he does so. Fine keeping. That’ll settle the nerves a bit.
And we’re off again! A major change for Newcastle, as poor Elliot - who injured his thigh making a clearance towards the end of the first half - is replaced by the 21-year-old Jak Alnwick, making his competitive debut for Newcastle. In at the deep end, huh.
While away the half-time lull with a bite to eat from Alan Pardew’s Premier League Bar & Grill™!
HALF TIME: Newcastle United 0-0 Chelsea
And that’s that for the first 45. Newcastle will be very happy with their sturdy performance against an occasionally rampant Chelsea, though they’ll be concerned that Elliot is limping as he leaves the field. Oh Rob! And there’s your wife doing all she can to first and foremost keep Alan Pardew happy, too.
45 min: But Chelsea are soon coming back at Newcastle. Fabregas pitching-wedges a pass down the inside-right channel for Oscar who, with his back to goal 12 yards out, heads up then whips a bicycle kick inches wide of the right-hand post. A stupendous effort, and so unlucky.
44 min: Chelsea ping it round patiently for a while. Newcastle hold their shape, though. Hazard loses patience and attempts to bust through along the left-hand channel at high speed, but his eventual ball inside loops harmlessly into the air and Newcastle clear.
41 min: End to end stuff. First Willian cuts in from the left and loops a shot into Elliot’s hands. The keeper sends Perez off down the left. He reaches the corner of the box, but there’s no chance to get a shot away. However Cabella’s soon on the scene, and he picks up possession in the middle - before shanking a hopeless effort from 25 yards towards the right-hand corner flag.
40 min: Dummett bundles Diego Costa over, as the striker makes off down the right. Fabregas’s set piece isn’t much cop, and Dummett clears up his own mess by powerfully heading upfield. It’s Ian Copestake again: “Thankfully Local Hero has yet to be used to advertise coverage of the Premiership, with Burt Lancaster intoning, ‘Keep watching the sky, MacIntrye’.” But there could be benefits too. For starters, the music always playing in Gordon Urquhart’s B&B would make a perfect soundtrack for a montage of defensive mishaps.
37 min: Now Colback latches onto a loose bit of control by Mikel on the edge of his own area, and bashes a wild first-time shot wide left of the Chelsea goal. This is giving the home crowd, who have on the whole been quiet, something to get stuck into.
35 min: Newcastle have dug in well here, with Colback, Sissoko and Ameobi seeing more of the ball. They’re not doing a whole lot with it as of yet, but Chelsea’s ardour has been snuffed out for the moment.
32 min: A lovely Newcastle move, their first of the match, as Ameobi glides in from the left and finds Perez, who sliderules a pass down the channel to release Colback. He’s one on one with Courtois, but the big keeper is a formidable opponent despite his youth, and smothers magnificently as the Newcastle midfielder attempts to chip home. Turns out Colback had mistimed his run a little and was offside, though there wasn’t much in it. Magnificent football all round.
29 min: Steven Taylor turns into Franz Beckenbauer, striding out from the back, romping down the middle, shoogling his hips, exchanging passes with Ameobi down the left channel, and nearly breaking clear. It would have been a move for the ages, that, but he’s eventually crowded off the ball. It all takes the pressure off Newcastle, though, which is the main thing right now.
26 min: It’s beginning to look like a matter of time, nothing more, before Chelsea score. Diego Costa strides down the inside-left channel and lashes a shot low towards the near post. Elliot is behind it all the way. Chelsea have had over 70% of possession in the last five minutes.
24 min: Oscar slides a ball down the inside-left channel to release Hazard into the box. Hazard’s shot is blocked, but the ball comes back for Diego Costa, who slashes well wide right of the goal from the edge of the area. That was a better-than-decent chance for the striker, who should have hit the target under no pressure whatsoever. But his blushes are spared, as Hazard is flagged for offside.
22 min: Chelsea are well on top here. Willian is found in acres down the right. He cuts back for Hazard, whose first-time shot from ten yards is blocked. Fabregas latches onto the loose ball, and sees his low fizzer from 20 yards deflected wide left of goal. The corner, worked in intricate fashion, is over-elaborate and comes to nothing. “I recently had the privilege of reviewing Roy McFarland’s autobiography for When Saturday Comes,” writes Charles Robinson. “It really is appallingly written, but the highlight was his description of his daughter’s birth. Apparently his wife Linda ‘put in a monumental shift at the hospital’. Jeesh.” And that’s all you can ask at the end of the day. The maternity unit’s a difficult place to go, but she’s come away with a result there.
19 min: Hazard in space down the left. Again. He slides a ball inside, across the face of the box, for Costa. The striker misses the ball, but no matter, it finds Willian, cutting in from the right. Willian sends a power curler from the right-hand edge of the D towards the bottom-left corner. Elliot is beaten all ends up, but the shot flies inches wide. So close to the opening goal.
16 min: Diego Costa slides Willian into space down the right. His low cross is hacked out of play by Coloccini for a corner. The set piece is sent high into the area, where it’s met ten yards out by Cahill, the big defender nutting over. Not far away, that one. Newcastle hearts in mouths.
14 min: Chelsea break immediately upfield through the busy Hazard, who romps down the left, past a couple of half-arsed Newcastle challenges, and attempts to curl one into the bottom right from 25 yards out. A decent enough effort, but always going wide. Elliot waves it by.
13 min: Newcastle immediately take the sting out of the game by knocking it around the back awhile. Then they suddenly spring into life, Janmaat busting down the right and whipping a low cross into the Chelsea area, with a view to finding Ameobi, rushing into the box. Courtois comes way off his line to claim, wonderful goalkeeping.
10 min: Chelsea triangulate in the pretty style, at close range in the Newcastle D. Diego Costa and Fabregas knock it back and forth, then Willian takes up possession and looks to fire a snapshot into the bottom right. It’s a fine effort, with little backlift, but flies just wide right of the post. Elliot had that one covered, in any case. But the league leaders sparked into life there, ominously so.
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8 min: Chelsea enjoying the lion’s share at the moment. Hazard nearly breaks clear with another purposeful run down the left flank, but is crowded out. Then Ivanovic finds a bit of space in the right-hand portion of the Newcastle area, but his pull back is miscontrolled by Diego Costa and Newcastle clear.
5 min: Never mind Mrs Elliot and Elliot Jnr., this game’s going through a lull. Already. Both teams happy to knock it around a bit, get a feel of the ball. They’re going nowhere fast.
3 min: The home fans are currently being comprehensively outsung by the impressive Chelsea travelling support, who are singing about Steven Gerrard. [MBM reporter glances around, observes teams playing, etc.] Eh? Is this normal behaviour? They’re enjoying themselves, that’s the main thing. “I don’t think Rob Elliot’s wife is giving 100%,” opines Ian Copestake. “She needs to up her game to get through this lull, because at the end of the day this is a results business.”
And we’re off! Newcastle get the ball rolling, and will be kicking towards the Leazes End. But they soon lose the ball, and Chelsea are on the front foot. Hazard goes on a determined jog down the left, but is shepherded out of play by Janmaat. Goal kick. A bright start by the visitors.
The players are out! It’s sunny, but it’s cold. Cold, cold, cold. The Blaydon Races blares out of the PA. The idiot operating it asks for everyone in the house to say awyeaaaaaah. To their eternal credit, the Newcastle faithful ignore this clown totally. Then it’s time for the theme to the best film ever made, Local Hero:
We’ll be off in a minute.
The team news. For Chelsea, John Obi Mikel comes in for the suspended Nemanja Matic. And Diego Costa is back! Bad news for Newcastle, as he’s only failed to score in three league games this season. He’s already got 11 goals for Chelsea, and just the seven bookings. He’s nothing if not entertaining.
Meanwhile for the hosts, Alan Pardew makes five changes to the side which drew at Burnley. Fabricio Coloccini returns from injury, while Jack Colback and Moussa Sissoko are back after suspension. Steven Taylor and Remy Cabella also return; Massadio Haidara, Mike Williamson, Mehdi Abeid, Yoan Gouffran and Papiss Cisse stand down. Keeper Rob Elloit plays, though it had been touch-and-go, as his wife is expecting a baby. “Fortunately, the good news is that there seems to be a bit of a lull in the pregnancy,” says Dr Pardew, channelling his inner Doogie Howser. A bit of a lull in the pregnancy!
Anyway, the hosts will be turning out in their famous black and white stripes, pictured here in black and white ...
... while the visitors will be playing in their equally storied blue, pictured here in blue:
The teamsheets
Newcastle United: Elliot, Janmaat, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Dummett, Tiote, Colback, Sissoko, Cabella, Ameobi, Perez.
Subs: Williamson, Anita, Cisse, Gouffran, Haidara, Riviere, Alnwick.
Chelsea: Courtois, Ivanovic, Cahill, Terry, Azpilicueta, Fabregas, Mikel, Willian, Oscar, Hazard, Costa.
Subs: Cech, Luis, Zouma, Ramires, Drogba, Schurrle, Remy.
Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire)
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What better way to start the weekend than a clash between two of the Premier League’s form teams? Of course, there’s form, and then there’s form. Newcastle recently enjoyed a six-win streak that demanded attention and respect, recovering from a shoddy start to the season by notching impressive wins over Tottenham Hotspur, Liverpool and, in the League Cup, the reigning champions Manchester City. They’ve hit a wee blip since, losing at West Ham and drawing at Burnley, but those claret-clad oppressors are two of the Premier League’s other hot teams right now, so there’s no shame in that. Newcastle are in fine fettle.
Chelsea, however, are something else. They’ve currently got a 22-match unbeaten run on the go. They’ve only failed to score once this season in all competitions - last weekend at Sunderland - and they responded to that disappointment by crushing Tottenham Hotspur at Stamford Bridge during the week. This isn’t news, but Chelsea are the real deal. They’re strong favourites to win this match.
But there is hope for Newcastle. The Toon have won three of their last five league matches against Chelsea. Two of those victories are the last two meetings at St James Park. And Jose Mourinho might have won a couple of League Cup ties at St James Park - on his first visit as Chelsea manager in November 2004, Eidur Gudjohnsen and Arjen Robben were the extra-time heroes of a 2-0 win, while Didier Drogba scored the only goal in December 2006 - but he’s not won here in the Premier League. Additionally, he famously came unstuck here in the January snow in 2005, making a half-time triple substitution in order to salvage an FA Cup tie going wrong, only to watch in horror as Wayne Bridge was stretchered off, Damien Duff became a hobbling passenger, and Carlo Cudicini got himself red carded. Newcastle will be hoping the jinx continues for another season.
This could be a classic, then. Or a tedious 0-0. But we’re plumping for classic. It’s on!
Kick off: 12.45pm.
