And with that, I’m off. Here’s Rob Smyth on Manchester United v Manchester United fans (and perhaps also Liverpool). Bye!
Here’s Louise Taylor’s match report from St James’ Park.
For 90-odd minutes on Tyneside on Sunday something strange happened: it was possible to believe that Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal really are “the new Invincibles” after all.
No matter that the visitors kicked off in 11th position, a regressive Newcastle made Arteta’s hitherto struggling class of 2020-21 look worthy heirs of Arsène Wenger’s all conquering team from nearly two decades ago.
Scouts from Villarreal doing their homework before this week’s Europa League semi-final second leg may have wondered if they were really watching the team that were somewhat fortunate to only lose 2-1 in Spain last week.
Much more here:
But hey, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
Sky are too busy talking about Manchester United’s ownership and today’s fan protests to stick the boot into another limp Newcastle performance. Which is a shame, because Souness and Keane could really have let rip.
Final score: Newcastle 0-2 Arsenal
90+6 mins: It’s all over! Let’s be clear about this: Newcastle were abysmal. At no point did it look like they could be remotely arsed, and a much-changed Arsenal team with half an eye on another match strolled to victory.
90+5 mins: Arsenal are just playing keep-ball now. The game has been won, and both teams are just wasting time while they wait for it to end.
90+2 mins: VAR has a good look at the incident, but clearly can’t see a strong argument for overturning it. Four minutes of stoppage time are announced.
90+1 mins: Looks a bit harsh to me on review. It was a foul, for sure, bewilderingly foolish, and a yellow card at least, but there were no studs and little force.
RED CARD! Schar is off (STC)!
90 mins: Schar goes in late and from behind on Martinelli, in the middle of the Newcastle half, and the referee has the red card straight out!
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86 mins: Into the closing stages. Newcastle have had a bit more of the ball these last few minutes, though the game is being played largely at strolling pace now.
84 mins: More substitutions, as Newcastle bring Gayle on for Clark, and Arsenal bring Partey on for Odegaard.
83 mins: Newcastle get the ball into the Arsenal box, though as soon as they do Arsenal head it away again. Rob Smyth is poised to blog Manchester United v Liverpool, though kick-off there has been delayed because of supporter protests, with no knew kick-off time announces as yet.
80 mins: Newcastle attack! Murphy goes down the right before pulling back to Joelinton, who tees up Shelvey, who shoots into a defender.
77 mins: Arsenal bring Pepe on for Aubameyang.
75 mins: There’s only one team in this game at the moment, and really they’re not that good. Newcastle have shown very little. I can’t remember Murphy crossing the ball.
72 mins: Newcastle take off Almiron and Fernandez, and bring on Joelinton and Schar.
68 mins: Willian does a nice cross from the left. The chance it created for Chambers was basically unscorable, but the cross had lovely curve and dip.
GOAL! Newcastle 0-2 Arsenal (Aubameyang, 66 mins)
A cracking cross from Martinelli, perfectly judged for Aubameyang to head home. He tries a shoulder-high flying volley instead - why make life easy for yourself, after all - and from five yards thumps the ball in!
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65 mins: Ryan catches a Ritchie cross. It has not been his hardest day’s work.
63 mins: Odegaard takes the free-kick on the left, and picks out Gabriel, whose diving header from an excellent position flies high.
62 mins: Fernandes catches Xhaka, landing a boot on top of his opponent’s foot, and he gets booked.
58 mins: Arsenal win a corner, which Willian sends out of play for a throw-in on the other side of the pitch. He’s made some decent runs on the right, but I can’t remember him doing anything very useful with the ball when he’s had it.
56 mins: Xhaka fells Longstaff with a blatant bum-thrust, and is lucky to get away unbooked.
54 mins: Ritchie sends in an absolutely delicious cross from the left. Wilson can’t get anywhere near it, but Chambers feels he has to deal with it and concedes a corner, from which nothing results. The delivery though, yum.
53 mins: David Luiz is off, and Calum Chambers is on.
52 mins: That looks like game over for the Brazilian.
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40 mins: Now David Luiz is on the ground, and feeling his left hamstring. The physios are on their way.
48 mins: David Luiz, having already this half overhit a long pass down the left wing, overhits a long pass down the right wing.
46 mins: Peeeeeeep! Arsenal kick off half two.
“Your comment about Arsenal wearing slippers and puffing on a pipe reminds of the MBM comment (can’t remember who was the scribe) about Fulham being completely comfortable seconds before Newcastle equalised,” recalls Richard Hirst. “In fact, thinking back over the season, I think the MBM writers are wholly to blame for Fulham’s impending relegation: who can I sue?”
Sadly MBM scribes have been known to be wrong, occasionally. Meanwhile, Arsenal are back on the pitch and Newcastle appear to be gathering on a staircase.
Meanwhile in Manchester:
Half time: Newcastle 0-1 Arsenal
45+3 mins: And that’s half-time. Newcastle are 12-24 down across all first halves this season, and for some reason are a much better second-half team. They certainly couldn’t be a lot worse after this interval. Saint-Maximin has provided a bit of fun, but nobody else has provided very much, and Arsenal have dominated.
45+2 mins: The first minute of stoppage time was almost entirely stoppage, after Aubameyang won a free-kick on Arsenal’s left. Then it’s sent into the box, headed out, and Almiron is fouled. We have had about six seconds of stoppage-time play so far.
45+1 mins: There will be two minutes of stoppage time.
45 mins: Newcastle win a corner, and from the corner they win a header, but Wilson’s effort goes over the bar.
43 mins: Odegaard sends the free-kick straight into the wall.
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42 mins: Almiron accidentally trips Odegaard, a few yards outside the Newcastle area. The referee blows his whistle, but decides not to show Almiron the yellow card which would have led to one of football’s most unfortunate reds.
39 mins: Arsenal keep the ball for a long while without ever doing anything threatening with it. Eventually Willian, whose overhit cross from the right almost gave it away earlier only for Ceballos to chase it down, underhits a pass.
36 mins: Another free header from the next corner, but this time David Luiz’s effort is team, and Dubravka catches.
35 mins: Another clearance! Arsenal win a corner, which David Luiz flicks towards the far post. It was going wide anyway, but Wilson made sure.
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31 mins: Almiron’s next involvement is less impressive, and he is booked for a foul on Ceballos. In fact he seems to pull out of the challenge, and I’m not sure he made any contact at all, but the Spaniard screams and goes down clutching his leg, which makes the referee’s mind up.
29 mins: Off the line! The corner comes in and Elneny is completely unmarked as he sends in a header, which Almiron heads away!
28 mins: Save! Arsenal work the ball from right to left, where Xhaka takes aim and sends in a vicious 20-yarder that is saved by a diving Dubravka.
26 mins: Saint-Maximin sends in an unthreatening cross from the left. Obviously, though, it was preceded by 30 wildly entertaining seconds of unpredictable dribbling.
23 mins: Another very emphatically wide Aubameyang first-time near-post shot, this time from Willian’s cross from the right, as Arsenal reassert control.
20 mins: Xhaka gets booked for booting Saint-Maximin in the calf, a really puzzling foul without purpose or reason.
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18 mins: Save! Ritchie gets space on the left and pulls back, way back, to Saint-Maximin, who jinks past a couple of players before hitting a shot that hits Xhaka and almost loops over Ryan, who touches it over the bar.
15 mins: Arsenal are completely comfortable here. They might not actually be wearing slippers and puffing on a pipe, but they might as well be.
12 mins: Arsenal have had 70% of early possession and scored with their only shot. More promisingly, Aubameyang has just actually connected with a shot, from Martinelli’s pull-back, but it goes well wide.
8 mins: Saint-Maximin goes on a lovely Saint-Maximinish run, inside, outside, jinks and stutters, slowing down and speeding up. He doesn’t carry the ball that far down the pitch, so circuitous was his route, but he does provide a few seconds of total entertainment. Then he passes left to Ritchie, whose low cross isn’t bad, but is collected by Ryan.
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GOAL! Newcastle 0-1 Arsenal (Elneny, 6 mins)
David Luiz plays a lovely lofted pass to Bellerin down the right. He pulls back to Aubameyang, who tries to ... well ... what was that? Anyway, he completely misses his kick at the near post, and the ball deflects off a defender to Elneny at the edge of the box, who half-volleys it in at the far post!
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3 mins: Xhaka, Arsenal’s makeshift left-back, sends in a right-footed cross that Aubameyang tries to ... well ... what was that? I had to rewind to watch it again, and still don’t know if he was trying to shoot or to control. Either way, goal kick.
1 min: Peeeeeeep! Newcastle get the game started, with a hoik up the right flank from Shelvey that bounced out of play for a goal kick.
The players are out, and action is just a matter of moments away.
Does Graeme Souness always say the mouth in Bournemouth like the mouth in mouth? As in, Born-mouth? Or was it just that once?
Steve Bruce has spoken! He says of Callum Wilson that “he’s been desperate for weeks. I believe he’s ready, and he certainly looks like it”. Also:
Look, over the last eight games or so we’ve only lost once. It was vitally important that we put some sort of run together. We understand what’s at stake. We’ve come so far, it would be great if we could [get a win] against what is, no matter what people say, a really good Arsenal team.
He’s asked how he can explain his team’s improved form:
There has been a change in formation, but also our big players at the top end of the pitch have been fit. At times this season we’ve been decimated up front and at centre-back, which are crucial positions for you. I always said we’d be OK if we get those big players back, and they have brought a new dimension.
Weatherwatch: looks a nice one. Enjoy it while you can, Newcastle: meteorological types insist it’s going to rain tomorrow, and not a little.
Mikel Arteta explains his eight (eight) changes:
It was just to prepare today’s game in the best possible way. We played 40 minutes with 10 men [on Thursday], we’ve had a crazy schedule and some players haven’t recovered. We need fresh players. It’s all about getting momentum, getting confidence, and winning helps. We had some disappointing results in the last week or so and today we need to win, because the better we are with winning, I think the team will benefit in terms of performances.
He says that Aubameyang “has been progressing every day, feeling better every day. Let’s see how long he lasts, but it’s a good way to see how strong he is.”
The teams!
Team news is in, and here’s all you need to know. Newcastle bring Wilson in for Joelinton in their only change, while Aubameyang comes into the starting XI after a bout of malaria in one of eight changes for Arsenal:
Newcastle: Dubravka, Murphy, Fernandez, Clark, Dummett, Ritchie, Almiron, Sean Longstaff, Shelvey, Saint-Maximin, Wilson. Subs: Matthew Longstaff, Schar, Joelinton, Gayle, Lewis, Hendrick, Krafth, Gillespie, Anderson.
Arsenal: Ryan, Bellerin, Luiz, Gabriel, Xhaka, Elneny, Ceballos, Willian, Odegaard, Martinelli, Aubameyang. Subs: Leno, Saka, Cedric, Thomas, Pepe, Chambers, Pablo Mari, Nketiah, Smith-Rowe.
Referee: Mike Dean.
Hello world!
It’s hard to see Newcastle going down, even if they fail to add to their current 36 points. West Brom could still reach 40 and Fulham might get 39, but then again they won’t. What they might do, though, is make it a little bit interesting: Newcastle have a tough run upcoming, with the game against Arsenal today followed by a trip to Leicester on Friday and the visit of Manchester City a week later. No points from those, combined with victory for Fulham both at home to Burnley and at Southampton, would leave those clubs only three points apart with four days and two games remaining - and Fulham hosting Newcastle on the final day (though in their penultimate matches Fulham head to Old Trafford and Newcastle host Sheffield United, and in all likelihood the risk ends there). But if Newcastle could conjure a win here they would suddenly vault to 13th and Fulham’s hope of catching them would be all but over.
And it could happen. Sure, Arsenal thrashed Newcastle 3-0 at the Emirates back in January (“We gave as good as we got,” said Steve Bruce ridiculously, after his side had four shots to Arsenal’s 20 and 34% of possession), but they are in poor form, and the 2-1 defeat at Villarreal on Thursday means they come into this one not only perhaps a little fatigued and underprepared but also in the knowledge that this Thursday’s second leg against the Spaniards is now the absolute and undisputed No1 top priority of their season.
Also, Callum Wilson should be fit to start.
So, in short, months of talk about Newcastle and relegation could end today. Or it won’t. Welcome!
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