And the Christmas bells that ring, they are the clanging chimes of doom.
The St. James’ Park DJ’s dark sense of humour was not appreciated, as Eddie Howe’s players trooped off, a few muttering expletives, as Do They Know It’s Christmas blasted out after another humiliation.
Save the Geordies.
It’s a world of dread and fear on Tyneside now, and Howe needs more than a band aid to patch up this rabble.
The chant from the Gallowgate End had a hollow ring to it as Saudi owner Newcastle leaked their 79th Premier League goal of 2021.
“F*** off Man City, we’re richer than you…”
Four more goals were leaked with comical ease against Abu Dhabi-funded City, and Newcastle are left with no hope but to pray director Amanda Staveley can conjure up their own oil money revival in January.
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Newcastle will spend their first ever Christmas Day in the Premier League relegation zone.
They’ve conceded the worst total of goals (79) in a calendar year in the competition's history, level with Ipswich in 1994. And they’ve still got Man United, and Everton to play.
Howe keeps saying the answer to their relegation fight lies in his current squad, but it really doesn’t.
They need a new defence, a new midfield. You might retain Callum Wilson and Allan Saint-Maximin up front. It’s that desperate.
For beleaguered Howe, whose methods have opened up Newcastle to thrashings, it was an 11th career loss, in 11 games as a manager against City.
You can get the squad fitter, work them harder, find a better shape and reinvent players in new positions.
You can give an impression of being a front foot team by getting your forwards to do some high up the pitch chasing.
But when multiple players are making calamitous mistakes, game after game, against top opposition, any small claim to progress is ruined.
A cock-up killed Newcastle’s chances after just five minutes. Ciaran Clark was getting his first action since being sent-off against Norwich for a brainless red card challenge.
The Irish defender conspired with keeper Martin Dubravka to pull out of a simple header, or catch, and let Joao Cancelo’s cut back float across goal for a simple Ruben Dias goal.
Dubravka should have claimed, Clark should have cleared. Will there be a softer goal conceded this season?
For City’s second, Cancelo romped unchallenged in from the touchline. Flimsy Joe Willock was sidestepped, Isaac Hayden slipped on his backside, and the chance was taken.
For City’s third Jamaal Lascelles backed off too deep, playing the unmarked Riyah Mahrez onside, confirmed by VAR. Error after error.
At the death, the Toon’s makeshift full-backs were exposed. Jesus sprinting past Jacob Murphy and crossing for Raheem Sterling who raced ahead of Matt Ritchie.
Newcastle remain in the fight, three points behind fourth bottom Watford, so all is not lost. They have a goal difference of minus 23. They had one shot on target.
All Howe can do is cling to the belief that his methods will eventually make a difference, perhaps in a key run of games late in January.
