A cracking little fight-back by Nicholls and Watling there in the final hour after Kane Williamson was dismissed by a Sam Curran zinger. He looked in super touch. Taylor and Raval won’t be rejoicing in their dismissals, chasing boundaries when there was no need. Curran in particular bowled well, unexpected and sparky, and Jofra Archer was ruthless in that final spell against Nicholls, who thankfully was shaken but not concussed.
England’s batting tipped a little sideways in the morning session after Stokes fell for 91, but Leach did what Leach does best with another plucky 18 and a patient 43 from Jos Buttler took the total to the magic 350. A lead of 200, with Williamson and Taylor gone, is a huge advantage.
Jack Leach has been sent out to do the media, “It was a good day, and the ball from Sam Curran to Williamson misbehaved a little bit which is a good sign. There is a lot of cricket to be played.”
There is, but not now. Have a wonderful day everyone, thanks for your emails and tweets, and see you tomorrow!
Updated
Close of play: New Zealand trail by 209 runs
50th over: New Zealand 144-4 (Nicholls 26, Watling 6) And for no reason other than why the heck not, Joe Root bowls the final over of the day. Watling rather unkindly takes a single from the first ball, leaving the battered and bruised Nicholls to play out four balls, before he too scampers a single. And that’s that - the players walk off towards their baths/beers after another intriguing day.
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50th over: New Zealand 142-4 (Nicholls 25, Watling 5) Nicholls is fit to continue, and Archer follows up immediately with another short ball, then another rapid lifter that Buttler takes high above his head behind the stumps, then another which Nicholls defends on tip-toes with high gloves. Well played.
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Nicholls hit
Archer thuds a short one into Nicholls helmet at over 85mph. It surprises him and as he turns his head away from the ball it crashes into the area just behind the ears. He’s shaken but, helmet off, looks ok, thank goodness. The physio is out doing the concussion test.
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49th over: New Zealand 142-4 (Nicholls 25, Watling 5) Just one off Leach’s over as we see the nightwatchman padded up in the New Zealand dressing room. The day trickles gently towards a close.
48th over: New Zealand 140-4 (Nicholls 23, Watling 5) Pins and needles have settled in on my left ankle, serves me right for sitting still for too long. ARGhgg! Root has one last throw of the dice and hauls up Archer for a last spell before the close. He summons up some venom but the batsmen survive.
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47th over: New Zealand 140-4 (Nicholls 23, Watling 5) With just seven overs left we seem to have reached that period of the day where the batsmen start to retreat into their shells.
An email from JEA Wallace in NYC. The glamour!
Greetings from Manhattan! I’m watching the New Zealand coverage carried by an American broadcaster and I was wondering if the Barmy Army are as obnoxiously loud on your telly as they are on mine?They are driving me up the flipping wall! God knows what it must be like for the poor souls in the ground...
Er, yes. Hoping they’re not quite as loud as it sounds down at ground level..
46th over: New Zealand 140-4 (Nicholls 23, Watling 5) Curran again causing trouble with his left-arm pingers. A vocal lbw appeal against Nicholls which doesn’t interest Dharmasena. Ah, good decision: replays show an inside edge onto the pad.
45th over: New Zealand 140-4 (Nicholls 23, Watling 5) Leach wheels in again as the shadow start to stretch across this lovely ground where the crowd loll on the grassy banks. Looks like bliss. Fairly nondescript Leach over but for Nicholls trying to cut and missing.
And a big hello to Kim Thonger’s sausage dog, Dakkers.
@tjaldred Dakkers the dachshund. 🐶 pic.twitter.com/cXHaIaRgkg
— The Duke of Umbrage ✪ live from gates of hell🔥 (@ICETWICE) November 22, 2019
44th over: New Zealand 138-4 (Nicholls 22, Watling 4) Nicholls knows how dangerous Sam Curran has been this afternoon, but he can’t resist having a poke at zinger that swings away late. Well beaten. Next ball he plays an exacting defensive shot straight outta the annuals. Can he keep that up for the remaining 10 overs of the day?
43rd over: New Zealand 138-4 (Nicholls 22, Watling 4) More steady Leach, Watling knocking up a couple of runs, and on they swing.
Updated
42nd over: New Zealand 136-4 (Nicholls 22, Watling 2) Ah that’s nice from Nicholls, an open-faced drive off Sam Curran straight down the ground. Gorgeous actually.
A welcome email from John Corp:
We last “spoke” in September when I was making my return visit to Old Trafford after 40 years in Canada. Canada has many great things, but it doesn’t have good cricket and bitter beer. Anyway, as I was searching for something to follow on the interweb, having finished Season 3 of The Crown and compiling my family tree (apparently I come from a long line of Somerset farmers, who were all constituents of JRM). Season 3 was OK – really great acting but it tended to drag a bit compared to 1 and 2. The only ones who came out with enhanced reputations were HM, of course, who always seemed to do the right things in the end, and Harold Wilson – I didn’t see that coming. Back to the cricket, Jack Leach is a great No. 10 but doesn’t scare many batsmen. Any chance of Parky getting a test before the end of the series?
I’ve never seen The Crown but do fancy trying to carve out some time for it. I’m not sure Leach would fancy that description! He’s definitely very scary at Taunton on a turning pitch...
41st over: New Zealand 130-4 (Nicholls 16, Watling 2) Just a smear by Watling and a single off Leach’s over.
Updated
40th over: New Zealand 128-4 (Nicholls 15, Watling 1) Golden arm Curran strikes again with his variations and unexpected fizz. Enthusiastic as a puppy but tenacious and wise as a, um, police dog? Williamson’s wicket totally against the run of play, and just after he’d reached fifty with a four down to the third man boundary. England now on top.
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WICKET! Williamson c Stokes b Sam Curran 51
And from nowhere, the ball after reaching fifty, the ball screams off the pitch, surprises a jumping Williamson who throws his head back and edges, I think off the glove- to a diving Ben stokes at second slip.
39th over: New Zealand 123-3 (Nicholls 15, Williamson 47) And Williamson remains on 47. Just another powerful four through midwicket from Nicholls off Leach.
38th over: New Zealand 119-3 (Nicholls 11, Williamson 47) And that’s a double-bowling change from Joe Root, who is making the most of his hand this afternoon. Sam Curran pats his sweaty hair and - I mustn’t say scampers - scurries in.Third ball, he drifts wide and Nicholls ruthlessly throws the bat at it, scything the ball square to the boundary. Next ball Stuart Broad throws himself down at mid-on to intercept another boundary.
Some news from Oz where David Warner is 99 not out at tea:
David Warner has now scored more runs in his first home Test innings of the season than the whole of the last Ashes
— Sambit Bal (@sambitbal) November 22, 2019
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37th over: New Zealand 114-3 (Nicholls 6, Williamson 47) Williamson hovers on the edge of fifty - is he bothered? Is he heck. A bowling change as Leach replaces Stokes for a tight over.
36th over: New Zealand 113-3 (Nicholls 5, Williamson 47) Archer tests Williamson’s reflexes as he bends and sways out of the way of a couple of short and nasties. A nervy Nicholls edges the ball just forward of slip.
Kim Thonger has done his own research.
“I’ve answered my own question. http://www.espncricinfo.com/england/content/player/455524.html
“Leach’s average now 18.36 so he’s not quite nipping at The Don’s heels yet but he has time on his side and it needs pointing out that Bradman didn’t have the distraction of Stuart Broad at the other end.
“Dachshund now bored with fetching badger and nudging my typing hand with his nose as he disapproves of smartphones. They have no scent apparently.”
Good Daschund. Does he like pies?
35th over: New Zealand 111-3 (Nicholls 4, Williamson 46) Back to the cricket. It’s the wicket-taker Stokes, and Nicholls gets off the mark with a tasty four off his hips through midwicket.
And the burnt english legs have belatedly arrived. They belong to Carl. His friend Grant Newdick writes “Please post Carl’s legs. There’s a whole bunch of us in Wellington working while he watches cricket. We’re all much more interested in the state of his legs after day two than the cricket!”
@tjaldred pic.twitter.com/1XLzuOuq2w
— The Other Brad (@TheOtherBradNZ) November 22, 2019
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34th over: New Zealand 106-3 (Nicholls 0, Williamson 43) An Archer maiden, but I admit to being distracted by the New Zealand pie awards. I fancy the highly commended Pumpkin, Kumara with Red Rice and Hollandaise from the Princess Street Bakehouse in Palmerston North. Anyone tried one?
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33rd over: New Zealand 106-3 (Nicholls 0, Williamson 43) So... it’s all on Williamson then. I imagine him sighing a little inside before scolding himself for unworthy thoughts. The players lie on the pitch for a quick drinks break. That was sloppy from Taylor.
Updated
WICKET! Taylor c Pope b Stokes 25
Ah dear, another bad dismissal for New Zealand. Taylor can’t resist having a pull at Stokes, and a leaden-footed swipe goes straight to Pope who runs forward at deep midwicket
Updated
32nd over: New Zealand 101-2 (Taylor 22, Williamson 43) Better from Archer, more zip and venom as he heads up towards 90 mph. Taylor weathers the storm though he’s hit on the shoulder by a shorter one that zips off the surface.
Nigel Peake writes to ask for the TMS overseas link - can anyone help?
31st over: New Zealand 97-2 (Taylor 18, Williamson 43) Stokes again. Sensible long sleeves for our flame-haired hero. He steams in, all pistons ready and oiled, but Taylor and Williamson come through largely untroubled.
While we wait for the pink English legs to trickle through on twitter, Kim Thonger’s email does make it through the ether.
“The comedy burnt English legs aren’t going to keep me awake but I have a dachshund here wanting a bit of nocturnal fielding practice with his toy furry badger so I shan’t miss any of the last session. I’m trying to find Jack Leach’s current test batting average, he must be near Bradman’s now. The nation should be grateful and proud. When Andrew Neil interviews Jeremy Corbyn this week we need to know where Jezza stands on a knighthood for Leach. Is he for or against? Fence sitting won’t do.”
After promising to return the Cricket World Cup to free-to-air, who knows what’s in the ether. Is Jezza a cricket man? I know JRM claims to be, though that rather sticks in the craw.
30th over: New Zealand 94-2 (Taylor 16, Williamson 42) Ah, Archer’s not out of the attack, he’s just switched ends, again. In he trots, Taylor pulls him for a single, forces a few more. I don’t think it would be unkind to say Archer’s not causing too many problems right now. He’s not bowling badly, just not that much zing.
29th over: New Zealand 87-2 (Taylor 10, Williamson 41) So Archer is pulled out of the attack after just two overs, and replaced by Ben Stokes. Root desperate for a breakthrough here before Taylor becomes as settled as Williamson is. A handful of singles as Stokes settles into his work.
28th over: New Zealand 84-2 (Taylor 7, Williamson 39) I do like Mark Ramprakash on TMS. Talking about Broad, “he does have a personality that is a bit black and white at times.” Broad must be nearing the end of this spell, given the heat of the sun. He continues to test Williamson and Taylor who tip him for a couple of runs.
27th over: New Zealand 82-2 (Taylor 7, Williamson 39) Taylor eases into an Archer delivery that bounces a fraction wide. Bang! the ball slams through the covers for four. Williamson is surprised by one that doesn’t bounce as high as expected, then Archer sends througha bouncer to complete the set.
Now I’ve been promised a pictures of some comedy burnt English legs to post up here... if that doesn’t keep you up I don’t know what will.
26th over: New Zealand 76-2 (Taylor 2, Williamson 38) We watch Stuart Broad in slow motion on Sky- he really is an admirable athlete, especially when you watch the amount of strain his body goes through. Mike Atherton sings his praises too, particularly his determination to keep on learning despite being England’s second highest wicket taker of all. “The benefit of a bit a bit of internal competition,” he says wisely. Incidentally, James Anderson will be fit for the first Test against South Africa which starts on Boxing Day. If he’s picked...
25th over: New Zealand 75-2 (Taylor 1, Williamson 37) Archer slides into his work. We know he has the ability to suddenly raise the tempo for the best, Steve Smith will probably write a book about it. Williamson spruced into life by one that sparks off the pitch and hits him on the hand. Looking forward to the next half hour.
24th over: New Zealand 73-2 (Taylor 0, Williamson 37) Taylor gets his eye in with a Stuart Broad over, and it looks as if Root is going to play his joker now. He hauls Archer back into the attack.
Updated
23rd over: New Zealand 72-2 (Taylor 0, Williamson 36) Williamson was not best pleased with Raval’s gung-ho tactics - employing his very best hard stare as his team-mate trudged off. Ross Taylor joins him and England now have the big guns to bowl at.
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WICKET! Raval c Denly b Leach 19
Oh dear, Raval is not going to like watching that back in the dressing room. He refuses to play the patience game against Leach, crossing the boundary with a whallop over long-on before trying another off-balance wild slog and being excellently caught by a leaping Denly at deep midwicket.
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22nd over: New Zealand 67-1 (Raval 15, Williamson 35) Williamson takes a risk! He drives uppishly, through the vacant fourth slip area, absolutely not completely in control. Rory Burns runs up to fill the gap, but Williamson then plays a much nicer shot, through point, for three more.
21st over: New Zealand 60-1 (Raval 15, Williamson 28) Raval is getting twitchy against Leach. After blocking out a few he resorts to a slog-sweep which wobbles over Jofra Archer’s head as he runs backwards from mid on. Four, but Leach won’t mind one little bit.
20th over: New Zealand 56-1 (Raval 11, Williamson 28) Another Broad maiden as Williamson employs watchful waiting
The Barmy army’s dulcet tones travel all the way from North Island into my front room. It’s the one to the Postman Pat theme tune and it makes them sound a bit daft. sorry. Maybe you just have to be there.
19th over: New Zealand 56-1 (Raval 11, Williamson 28) Jack Leach takes the post-tea ball from the other end. Raval plays out two balls before taking a huge swipe and being hit on the pad. The umpire say not out but England review ... Leach is keen...a grotty looking swing by Latham, the ball hits him on the outside bat leg... and it is umpire’s call. He breathes to fight again.
18th over: New Zealand 54-1 (Raval 10, Williamson 27) It’s Broad, pink-faced, puffing after a couple of balls, you could never complain of his workrate. He drifts a little wide, as if to invite vintage Williamson. Williamson obliges, sliding onto the back foot and forcing the ball through point and over the boundary.
Tanay Padhi writes, “I live in San Francisco and would recommend getting something sourdough-based next time!” Mmmm, I love a good sour-dough, though perhaps it wouldn’t have lasted the plane journey?
The players are on their way out - I fancy this to be an interesting session. If New Zealand push on, the day is theirs.
I just put two scoops of ground coffee in my mug rather than in the caftiere and it took me about 30 seconds to work out what was wrong. I’m pretty sure it counts as a first-world problem but god knows how doctors make life or death decisions in the middle of the night. Also, I found a salted blueberry pretzel in the cupboard which my lovely inlaws brought back from San Francisco. I don’t think I’m being too disloyal if I said it was disgusting. Which brings me back to New Zealand pies.
Craig Brown writes in to take issue with my scepticism.
I am not sure of your attitude to pies but here in NZ they have reached the height of an art form.
He sends a link to the New Zealand pie awards https://pieawards.nz/pie_awards_2019.cfm. These are the categories:
Tea
17th over: New Zealand 50-1 (Raval 10, Williamson 23) Leach again and this will be the last over before tea. He starts with a full-toss that Williamson doesn’t need any encouragement to deposit , with polite disdain, over the boundary. Another single and New Zealand flick over to 50, the players potter off the pitch.
A good session there for New Zealand, despite the loss of Latham. Williamson looks in alarmingly good touch. Raval has ridden his luck with a smile. Time for me to make a quick coffee and do a few stretches. See you in 15!
16th over: New Zealand 45-1 (Raval 10, Williamson 18) Curran drifts wide of leg stump and Williamson tucks in and the ball bobbles over the square leg boundary. All grist to Williamson’s mill, he has had a surprisingly lean time of it in Tests since the summer’s World Cup.
15th over: New Zealand 40-1 (Raval 10, Williamson 13) And Root turns to Leach, who is wearing a big 77 on his back and wrap around sunglass over his eyes. He trills in, arms wheeling. Raval stretches forward, repeatedly, until the last ball which whisks in sharply , beats Raval and just misses by a whisker hitting leg stump. Actually, no, I think it hits leg stump but the bails remain in place. Slip and keeper have their hands on their head, Raval smiles sheepishly.
14th over: New Zealand 39-1 (Raval 10, Williamson 12) A maiden from Curran, and Raval dances with fate midway through after raising his bat and watching the ball zip past his off stump. He survives, and probably only a couple more overs left to see out till tea.
13th over: New Zealand 39-1 (Raval 10, Williamson 12) The wind ruffles Williamson’s shirt, but he remains unruffled. And that’s a just lip-smackingly gorgeous common or garden jab for four off Archer. He’s your best friend’s mysterious, kind, yet untouchable older brother.
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12th over: New Zealand 34-1 (Raval 9, Williamson 8) More skiddy Curran in the last 15 minutes of this session. He tries a few outswingers, pitches it up but Raval and Williamson pat it away. Are they dreaming of tea yet? My brother in Auckland sent me a photo last week of his local pie shop which sold a spagetti bolognaise pie. There are no words.
11th over: New Zealand 33-1 (Raval 8, Williamson 8) Archer zings one through Raval’s defenses before sending a ridiculously bouncy short ball soaring way over Buttler’s head and down to the boundary for four byes.
It is lunch at Australia v Pakistan, with Australia sandwiching at 100-0, a fifty for Davey Warner who chews and spits in the face of this summer’s ashes.
10th over: New Zealand 28-1 (Raval 8, Williamson 8) So homeboy Williamson breathes in the air of his surf town and rises up his toes and defensively prods Curran off the hind leg and over the boundary for four. Classic Williamson, unshowy class. I wonder how many English kids who were as multi-talented at all sports as Williamson was as a boy would have chosen cricket above all else? I think Chris Woakes was a very good footballer... and Jonny Bairstow a fantastic rugby player...
9th over: New Zealand 22-1 (Raval 6, Williamson 8) Ah, so that bit of jiggery pokery by Root was to bring Archer on at the other end, where he delivers a nicely angled over.
Updated
8th over: New Zealand 18-1 (Raval 6, Williamson 0) I still can’t quite work out what happened there, on the third replay it turns out it might have been a good decision after all, being a mixture of bat hitting pad, ball hitting pad and ball hitting bat. And the barmy army trumpeter blast out The Archers theme tune.
WICKET! Latham lbw Sam Curran 8
And the golden arm of Sammy Curran does the business again. Three balls into his first over and the ball strikes the front pad and Latham decides not to review..but eeek, replays seem to show the ball hitting the bat just before the bad.... anyway, he’s out and Kane Williamson marches walks, modestly, to the middle.
7th over: New Zealand 18-0 (Raval 6, Latham 8) Oooh risky stuff from Raval who awkwardly pushes forward at Broad and the ball whisks airily through between back pad and stumps. Two balls later and he rather toe-ends a drive for four. And an email from Brian Withingon pings into my inbox!
Morning Tanya
Morning Brian!
Stuart Broad’s first three overs have me idly wondering what the Test record is for a run-less opening spell? But not enough to try looking it up ...
Someone out there is just dying to tell us...
6th over: New Zealand 13-0 (Raval 2, Latham 7) Ok, so that Archer over passed so quickly that I can’t describe a ball. A maiden without incident should cover it.
5th over: New Zealand 13-0 (Raval 2, Latham 7) A Broad maiden, and one that perhaps significantly features some low bounce seemingly from nowhere. Something to get the batsmen’s juices flowing. And while the slips jog up towards the other end, can I just throw a hello out there to Mark in Sheffield and anyone who is listening to the OBO through their computer. I met a man at the West Lancashire Cricket Society yesterday who told me that a friend’s son, who is blind, listens to the OBO through his computer that talks to him. Sometimes modern technology is ace!
4th over: New Zealand 13-0 (Raval 2, Latham 7) Archer starts his liquid approach to the wicket, which always carries the potential to pin his victims to the stumps. New Zealand nudge five from the over with a tuck here and a scamper there. No imminent danger on show that over which gives me time to wonder rather pathetically how many months we’ll have to wait till we feel the sun again. It looks so good.
3rd over: New Zealand 8-0 (Raval 1, Latham 3) Thanks Daniel, and sweet dreams. Good godforsaken hour of the morning to those of you in the UK and hello there to everyone else. It is looking gorgeous out there in New Zealand. Stuart Broad has his hands on his hips at the end of his run and he’s looking pretty ruddy already. A maiden.
2nd over: New Zealand 8-0 (Raval 1, Latham 3) Archer lopes in with minimum effort and maximum prejudice, back of a length, and Latham defends, then ducks under a bumper. Four byes follow, one pitching, swinging, lifting, and Buttler moves across Root to push it away. Much better from Archer next up but Latham squirts away three into the off side - I’m not sure that was the plan - and a single follows. England’s openers haven’t quite located their straps.
Anyway, that’s us; Tanya Aldred will coax you through the rest of the day. Ta-ra.
1st over: New Zealand 0-0 (Raval 0, Latham 0) The ladz sing Jerusalem complete with actions; it’s extremely moving, I can tell you, but not as moving as the applause for it - by its singers - at its end. Broad starts from around – Raval, like Latham, is a lefty – but he’s pushing towards the stumps rather than the corridor, and a harmless maiden gives us Jofra.
...and the players...
Out come the umpires...
“An excellent alternative commentary can be found on iheart radio,” tweets Garrett Wong. “Search for alternative commentary collective @TheACCnz”.
That’s a decent show from both teams. England should have got more, but haven’t made as many away from home since 2017. New Zealand dropped a few, but if you lose the toss and field, being well in the game when you go into bat is acceptable.
WICKET! Broad b Wagner 1 (England all out 353)
Short ones, a full one, Broad plays on. You know the koo.
123rd over: England 353-9 (Leach 18, Broad 1) A quiet over with one run from it; Broad gets off the mark with an edge.
“Spent ages on the Amiga trying ‘MUTHA****ENKIWIB*STARDS”’for the infinite lives cheat,” emails Alex McGillivray. Turned out to be ‘FLUFFYKIWIS’.”
122nd over: England 352-9 (Leach 18, Broad 0) Can’t be many number 11s with a Test best of 169. Wagner tries the usual plan to Broad, short then full, and they take a bye before Leach edges four. That takes England past 350 and, it is thought, everything from here is above par. Is it possible for a team to have a specialist tailender because I can’t see Leach doing a whole lot of bowling.
WICKET! Buttler c Santner b Wagner 43 (England 347-9)
I don’t know about this – England were doing fine when Buttler decided to start waving the bat, and he does so again, picking out the man on the point fence. Though, in his defence, until just before the ball was bowled, Santner was over the boundary signing autographs - he had to race back to make the catch so it’s possible the batsman didn’t think there was a fielder there.
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121st over: England 346-8 (Buttler 43, Leach 14) Buttler gets another life! He gets bored and toes an attempted something into the covers where Raval thinks Nicholls is going because he lines his hands up, and when Nicholls doesn’t go, he goes and doesn’t get his hands under it. Southee is unamused and they run two, then two more into the offside before four are whacked into the covers! A decisive over thus becomes an expensive one.
Talking of New Zealand, anyone remember this?
120th over: England 337-8 (Buttler 34, Leach 14) Buttler looks to force the issue but doesn’t get proper hold of a clip and pull. Nor does he get hold of a paddle that squirts to deep backward square; they run one, and the strike stays where England want it.
“At the risk of heresy, is it time to consider imposing a fielding restriction in test cricket as well as in limited overs?” asks Brian Withington. “A minimum of say 2-3 in the ring, at least for the last two wickets of an innings?”
I don’t think so; it’s ok for the game to move slowly for a bit. The most significant factors here aren’t the fielders either, I don’t think, but the Kookaburra ball and the dry pitch.
119th over: England 336-8 (Buttler 33, Leach 14) Southee gets some late movement into Leach, a similar ball to the one that got Curran, but Leach gets into a better position, on middle and in a line. He turns to backward square for one, then Buttler does likewise to point; this is going nicely for England now, sedate progress before Latham and Raval have to face the small matter of Jofra Archer.
“There is live radio commentary on radiosport.co.nz,” emails Ben Mimmack, “which is accessible to overseas listeners in the US at least.”
Thanks – I’d try to find it on TuneIn Radio too.
118th over: England 334-8 (Buttler 32, Leach 13) A leg bye gets Leach off strike immediately, and the boundary riders go out for Buttler; I doubt he’ll mind bunting it around though, and he shouldn’t. There’s not much going on and his partner looks solid, so he can “just bat”. Wagner then slings down a full bunger and Buttler chops it towards the fence, but picks out the sweeper and they have to make do with a brace.
117th over: England 331-8 (Buttler 30, Leach 13) Southee, who’s bowled well so far – it looks like Ferguson will take Wagner’s place at Hamilton – starts us off. Buttler takes one to mid off, then Leach drives to point, and England won’t mind that. They’re close enough to a decent total to cover the remaining distance slowly.
“Youngster Naseem steaming in at over 90mph for his first over at the Gabba,” emails Brian Withington, “looks very promising. Warner and Burns off to a quick start though.”
He looks amazing on Twitter, which is the main thing.
Updated
The players come back out...
At the Gabba, Nassem Shah - on debut, aged 16 - has the ball. Pah - at that age, some of us were spending all our money on CDs, cider and Embassy No1.
“Bumble and Ward look like they are having the time of their life on location in a stunning New Zealand,” says someone watching on sly at work. “Quick question, where do Rob Key and the like obtain blazers that sports pundits wear on tv? They are a boxy grey/white dot matrix style force of nature. I’m no fashion expert but I’ve never seen one in a shop and if your friend wore one when you met them you may have a fit. God I wish I was in New Zealand right now.”
My parents actually are in New Zealand now, and have managed to avoid cricket at every juncture. As for the blazers, I can only imagine someone has a cache of them, marked “Barmitzvah attire 1984-1988”.
So, that was New Zealand’s morning. England started beautifully but then lost a flurry of wickets, and by the look of it will be dismissed for a total with which both sides can work. See you in 35 or so.
116th over: England 329-8 (Buttler 29, Leach 12) Yup, one more over, and it’ll be Santner with it. I can’t see there’ll be much turn out there, and he doesn’t do enough with the ball to force it. Every time I see a something like this I think of Graeme Swann, and how rare he was: a spinner who got first innings wickets - and, of course, also contributed some of the most hilarious #bantz cricket has ever seen. Maiden.
115th over: England 329-8 (Buttler 29, Leach 12) Buttler’s had enough of the patting around, so slams a half-volley back over Boult’s head for six; Boult retorts with a wide. We might just get in one more over before lunch...
“Leach is the most exciting tailender in Test cricketing history since Jason Gillespie, period,” says Abhijato Sensarma. “Long live the Taunton Tendulkar!”
It’s a shame we don’t get to see him bat against the Burnley Lara - I bet he’d do better than the Mumbai original.
114th over: England 322-8 (Buttler 23, Leach 12) If these two can take England towards 350, they’ll feel like every run is a bonus run. And there’s fair reason to think they can do that - the ball isn’t doing loads and there’s not much natural variation either, though Buttler then chucks a cross bat at one, which goes into the ground and to the keeper. The he stretches for a wide one and slices a single to third man, bringing Leach onto strike. Good luck, lads.
113th over: England 321-8 (Buttler 22, Leach 12) Boult takes the globule and will hurl it into the wind; Buttler deflects one to mid on. What a strange session this has been, like three sessions in one: England scoring freely, England decimated, an even contest.
112th over: England 320-8 (Buttler 21, Leach 12) Buttler spots Wagner’s knuckleball and lets it go by - the field is spread for him because they’re not really trying to get him out. Problem being that Leach is actually hard to get out too. Strange tactic, I’d say, and Buttler adds a single.
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111th over: England 319-8 (Buttler 20, Leach 12) Colin returns, and begins with a high bouncer that’s called wide, then Buttler dabs into the off side and ambles one. Colin then goes around to Leach, who very carefully fences two through gully.
110th over: England 315-8 (Buttler 19, Leach 10) A leg slip and a short leg suggest Leach is getting some glasses music, but as if that matters to the Little Schoolmaster. He plays out a maiden with relative ease; Buttler will now be allowed a turn.
109th over: England 315-8 (Buttler 19, Leach 10) Jack Leachards hogging the strike here! He sees away five dots, then drives to cover where a dive prevents what might’ve been a boundary and they run one/
108th over: England 314-8 (Buttler 19, Leach 9) If you accept that tail-end runs are one of the greatest things going, Leach bats like an absolute dream - sometimes, nurdles are more amusing than swipes. He turns three around the corner, the only runs from the over.
107th over: England 311-8 (Buttler 19, Leach 6) Oh have a look! The field is spread, but when you’re Jos Butler it doesn’t always matter, and he suddenly lifts Southee over mid on for a one-bounce four. That looked so easy. In commentary, they reckon this is a decent score, and also that England’s bowlers will bowl well in this track. The question, really, is how few they can get Williamson for, but back in the middle a single and a leg bye arrive before Buttler sidles across to open the face and send four to deep backward point. He can always get himself out, but hasn’t looked in any trouble at all so far.
106th over: England 301-8 (Buttler 10, Leach 6) Wagner into the attack, which is, of course, no problem for Leach. Maiden.
“I see from my Sent Box that it’s been months since I emailed you in July, and nearly two years since my 03:49 m missive during Ashes turmoil in Australia,” says Brian Withingron. “Have I been lazy, or you reclusive? Anyway, great to see you compering the OBO again and expanding the repertoire with words like chleanses and mechaye - back in July it was meshuggenery that had me reaching for the dictionary. Meanwhile it’s turning towards a verkakte session for England...”
I am the world’s foremost expert in the vernacular of Jewish north London, 1988-1997. England did what they’re doing now for absolutely all of then
105th over: England 301-8 (Buttler 10, Leach 6) The one who’ll be proper vex with himself is Pope, who gave his wicket away. Anyway Leach flows four through extra cover; of course he does, and then nabs one to long leg.
“TMS link unfortunately doesn’t exist for overseas listeners when England are playing away,” says Richard Harman. “If the button isn’t visible for you on the BBC live cricket page then you can’t listen to TMS ... said Richard with feeling....”
Eeek. “Perhaps tell Nel Smith (101st over) that there’s fine coverage at @guerillacricket on TuneIn, YouTube, Simple Radio, Facebook and http://Guerillacricket.com,” says @markzip.
104th over: England 295-8 (Buttler 10, Leach 1) New Zealand are going to regret bringing Leach to the wicket - he’s been promoted above Broad, which definitely makes sense given there’s a batsman still out there and probably in any event. Leach immediately goes for a Red Bull single, but Nicholls shies at Buttler’s stumps and misses. What’s mad about this morning is that not long ago, New Zealand looked in trouble; then they took four for 18 in 3.1 overs.
WICKET! Archer c Southee b Bould (England 295-8)
You’ve got to absolutely rattle your entire corporeality laughing, you really do. Archer can’t decide what to do with a straight one then eventually decides to edge it to slip. England are magic.
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104th over: England 295-7 (Buttler 9, Archer 4) Buttler takes one to midwicket then Archer opens the face and, though Santner chases it down and gets his hands off the ball as he crashes over the rope, he drops it outside the boundary.
103rd over: England 290-7 (Buttler 9, Archer 0) Here we go and it’s not a bad one, beating Archer who moves across to flick it around and misses ... but winds up with four byes added to the total.
WICKET UPHELD!
This is now a great morning for New Zealand! England are absolutely Englanding, and that’s drinks - after which Archer will face Southee’s hat-trick ball...
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WICKET! Curran lbw b Southee 0 (England 286-6)
Curran gets a first-baller! This is “very adjacent”, the ball swinging in and catching him so dead he’s almost reincarnated. Curran reviews because, well, um...
WICKET! Pope c Watling b Southee 29 (England 286-6)
Suddenly, this is a great morning for New Zealand. Southee slings down a teaser, swinging away, and Pope’s a sucker for it, reaching, edging and gawn! Southee has done him up a treat there!
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103rd over: England 286-5 (Pope 29, Buttler 9) Pope is, as Athers would say, “very well organised”. He knows his game, and what he does when the various things that happen happen. He defends three dots nicely...
102nd over: England 286-5 (Pope 29, Buttler 9) Buttler glides four through midwicket; that’s very nice. And oh look, there are four more - spawnier this time, an almost French cricket-style bat in front of pads that squirts away to third man.
“I still think England should pick Ben Foakes over Buttler,” says Abhijato Sensarma. “India did that with Wriddhiman Saha and Rishabh Pant in Test cricket too. Once the former returned from injury, the latter was rotated out of the eleven and refocused on white ball-cricket. Being a great keeper is the first and foremost requirement for the benefit of any top Test side, which India have experienced in the recently concluded home series. Aggressive, dynamic batting and all is fine, but solid grinding in the middle does the job too, which is a secondary one in the end. Epic (if quiet) returns from behind the stumps is what a wicketkeeper is primarily meant to do, and Foakes is the best man in the country to do that job right now.”
I disagree – Buttler is much too good not to be given a proper run in Tests, and his keeping is good enough if the runs come. However, Wriddhiman Saha is one of my favourite names and when I have a moment, will be my favourite genre of music.
101st over: England 278-5 (Pope 29, Buttler 1) It’s more overcast than yesterday and in commentary they wonder if that’s helped Southee get some crucial swing. Either way, it hauls New Zealand back into things - 350 would be manageable, 450 would put them under. Buttler gets underway with a single nudged off the pads.
Can anyone help Nel Smith, please, who’d like the TMS YouTube link.
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WICKET! Stokes c Taylor b Southee 91 (England 277-5)
WHAT A CHAP THIS IS! Taylor literally missed one yesterday, somehow losing the shot until it was on its way past him. But when Stokes advances to drive and edge hard, he moves right and reaches up, taking the an absolutely bazzing one-hander, one of those you need to see in real time to appreciate how fast and hard the ball was going.
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100th over: England 277-4 (Stokes 91, Pope 29) We see that Ferguson took fifer in a domestic match - his extra pace is being missed here, but he should be back for the second Test. After Stokes slides another single, Boult goes around to Pope, who serenely plays out four dots. These two are having an absolute time out there and it’s kind of moving to see, though they could be sitting alone in a north London box room talking to themselves.
99th over: England 276-4 (Stokes 90, Pope 29) Oh Benjy! Don’t! Southee slants one into him, so waits and slides the face of his bat underneath for four through gully. He then takes one and Pope adds two.
“If you want to be old school about it,” emails Geoff Wignall, “you won’t be waiting on lunch for your woodbine and milk stout. Or you could always take the John Arlott option of briefcase containing a couple of bottles of red.
Trudat. For me, brief cases were things owned by childhood friends’ dads, and kept in lofts or under beds.
98th over: England 269-4 (Stokes 85, Pope 27) This is now a decent start for the tourists, and after Stokes takes one, Boult tries a short one ... and Pope chleanses it to the fence at deep square. Those are the only runs from the over.
“Stokes is currently riding the shift from bowling all-rounder to batting and he has no right to expect to be Kallis-esque in his eventual numbers,” returns Kristian Pettersen. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if he lands there.
And, because Kallis had so many ‘top, top’ players around him, perhaps his impact on game dynamics wasn’t identified as so, um, impactful, as Benji’s currently is. Or that whole ‘k in shining a’ narrative is peculiar to England?”
I don’t think it’s quite that. Partly it’s aesthetics and drama - Stokes has that, Kallis doesn’t - and partly it’s personality - Stokes is one of those rare sportsfolk who can refocus a match to be all about them.
97th over: England 264-4 (Stokes 84, Pope 23) Southee comes on - late, really - and he looks to slant across Stokes, forcing him to drive. Three dots to begin, then Stokes plays late, breaking the wrist to send four to deep backward point. I want a man with the slow hands, I want a lover with the easy touch...
96th over: England 259-4 (Stokes 79, Pope 23) Bout is targeting the area around Pope’s pad, but then he strays onto the pad and Pope swivels into a pull, absolutely mashing four to backward square. Sky show us his numbers - I missed his exact average but it’s around 60, and he’s got seven fifties and eight hundred. That is very, very good, and he’s in here ... but Boult’s final ball snakes by his outside edge.
95th over: England 255-4 (Stokes 79, Pope 19) Batting with Stokes must be an absolute mechayeh. He wants to face every ball, he scores runs quickly, the opposition will be focused on him. Two from the other, a single apiece.
“Sat here on the grass bank at Mt Maunganui” brags Paul Thornton. “At the Pope lbw review Raval gave up on it and it went over the rope for a four. Why didn’t England get four leg byes?”
Four-run penalty for that Jerusalem rendition.
94th over: England 253-4 (Stokes 78, Pope 18) Stokes takes two to midwicket - he timed that really nicely - then a pull raises the 50 partnership.
“I see in the report on yesterday’s play that the phrase ‘a bob each way’ was used,” emails John Starbuck. “As it’s over forty years since the UK went Decimal for currency, how long with these arcana persist? One only hopes, for cricket, a long time.”
I’m looking forward to lunch, when I’ll have a Woodbine and milk stout.
93rd over: England 250-4 (Stokes 75, Pope 18) That wasn’t especially close, really. Back to Kallis, KP also said that at one point, England’s plan for him was as a run out candidate early in his innings.
ON-FIELD DECISION OVERTURNED! POPE IS NOT OUT!
No bat involved, but I think that was missing leg stump - Pope was close to leg stump and well down the track. And actually, it was high!
WICKET! Pope lbw b De Grandhomme 18 (England 250-5)
De Grandhomme nobbles Pope on the pad as he walks down! It was the outside of the pad and the ball was still rising, so England review!
93rd over: England 250-4 (Stokes 75, Pope 18) I did not know that Nick Knight’s middle name is Verity, after Hedley, nor that they were distant relations. Stokes takes two through cover, then a single...
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92nd over: England 245-4 (Stokes 72, Pope 18) Boult has the ball - he’s changed ends from yesterday - and will know he’s had better days than he did then. Pope wont have faced many bowlers as good as him on a good day, so here we go. A leg bye to begin, and Ian Smith wants to take midwicket out, put him at third slip, and have Boult attack the channel, looking for the edge. Stokes adds a single.
“I appreciate that all things are always different but, when Kallis was, y’know, Kallis-ing the bejeezus out of everyone, did people regard him as the best player in the world?” asks Kristian Petterson. :I genuinely can’t remember - I’m in my late 40s now so I understand this comes to pass - but I’m sure his bushel was (only partially) concealed in relation to yer top dedicated, one-job batters and slingers. Answers come rarely. And they’re often wrong.”
I know KP thought his brilliance was underrated because he wasn’t pretty. There haven’t been many better batting all-rounders in history, but he may well have been the best of his era. Thing is, there were so many greats in one discipline.
91st over: England 245-4 (Stokes 71, Pope 18) Performative Jerusaleming in the crowd; so much pride. so much pride those involved applaud themselves. Anyway, Stokes spanks De Grandhomme down the ground for four, the only runs from the over.
It’s what William Blake would have wanted. pic.twitter.com/jQDGVwHlVo
— Ben Bloom (@benbloomsport) November 20, 2019
The players are in place; Colin has the ball.
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Robert Key does “a lot of coaching with kids”. He doesn’t like to talk about it.
Sky are showing us footage of Joe Root, whose trigger movement is now taking him back and across towards the leg side - initially, he went straight back, and previously moved towards the on side. The angle to get into the ball from around his pad on the off side looks a tricky one, and it’s preventing him from playing under his eyes.
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It’s not hot in Mount Maunganui. I’ve decided that Burns is right.
Athers says that Pope looks a good player to him, and says there’s a bit of Bell and a bit Root about him. His cover drive certainly reminds of the former’s elbow up and such. It’s not quite gallery material, but it is extremely fit.
Nick Knight is wearing a colour I think I have to describe as lilac.
He also says he’s worked hard on the short ball, and has tried to make it as instinctive as possible, and when he’s looking to be positive he gets in better positions and is happy to back his speed to get away if he has to.
Denly looks happy this morning, and says the team are happy with where they are. “We’ve got Ben Stokes at the crease,” he says; a fair point. He explains that as soon as the lacquer wears off the ball, it slows, so it’s hard to find boundaries. He says batters [sic] need to take responsibility and get first-innings runs; he’s not pleased we how he got out yesterday; “suckered”, he says, of playing at one he should’ve left.
I’m just watching Bumble, was much more critical of England’s day yesterday than me. He thinks they got bogged down, but so what? They’re now in position to make something big; so what if they might’ve taken more chances to add, say 40 more. Six wickets in hand and two batsmen comfortable at the crease seems a better outcome.
Is Ben Stokes currently the best cricketer in the word? He’s not the best batsman or the best bowler, which other brilliant all-rounders have been, but he is very very good at both, at fielding, at galvanising his team-mates and at turning up at the right times. I can’t think of anyone else who ticks all those boxes – Kohli probably comes closest, but if you could pick anyone you might still pick Smith.
Those of you around at the end of yesterday’s play might recall a machloket – a disagreement in the name of Torah – between the commentary box and Rory Burns. The commentary box, who know the pitch, think it’ll get quicker today; Rory Burns, who batted on the pitch, thinks it’ll get (even) slower. My inclination is that, if the sun stays, the commentary box are right, and it is extremely easy to tell from a box room in north London.
Preamble
So let’s try and get this right: this is new, old, new, old, old England. They appear to be, as the saying goes, “playing good, Test-match cricket”: carefully but not negatively.
Except what if the phrase is nonsense? In recent times, cricket has changed more than almost any other sport, but because the game’s fundamentals have stayed the same, “playing good, Test-match cricket” cannot mean anything more than “being good at batting, bowling and fielding”. If you do it, it makes little difference how you do it; do it however you do it but do it, often.
The reason that England’s batsmen have failed and collapsed, repeatedly, isn’t the way they played, but their inability to pull it off. Thanks to those those aforementioned fundamentals, we’ve seen Test sides whack it about on the reg before, and they did it that way because that was the best way for them; that was “playing good, Test-match cricket”. Anything that works in a Test match constitutes “playing good, Test-match cricket”.
And, because I’m absolutely one to get carried away about one day of Test cricket, I can absolutely assert that England have found their way of “playing good, Test-match cricket”. Defending good balls, mainly defending ok balls, mainly whacking bad balls. The line-up looks much better balanced, Ben Stokes is a joke, and Ollie Pope is no joke.
However, there is every chance New Zealand will bundle them out in the first hour this morning. The ball is still new, the bowlers are still excellent, and the two can easily combine to inflict some “playing good, Test-match cricket” on England.
This is going to be excellent.
Play: 10pm GMT, 11am local time
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