Anyway, I guess that’s us. But guess what? Test cricket is back, and we’re back at 9pm GMT tonight! Ooh yeah! Thanks for your company and comments, and enjoy your day. Ta-ra. Here’s Ali Martin’s report from Mount Maunganui:
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Rory Burns tells Sky that the pitch isn’t easy but is pretty flat, and that England are trying to set up the match with big first-innings runs. Of his own dismissal, he says he found it tough to score after lunch so forced it, and was disappointed not to cash in. He also thinks, contrary to what the experts reported, that the pitch will slow up, not quicken, er ... down? He seems such a nice man.
I enjoyed the absolute granny out of that. The main thing, obviously, is that Test cricket is back, a nirvana of joy and love in fractured, fractious world - and for those of us in the northern hemisphere, the illicitness of night-time sun in November adds an extra dimension. But the detail was great too, New Zealand bowling well and England going slow, before Ben Stokes came in and made existing look easy, likewise Ollie Pope at the end. If the two of them can bat a further session, England will be in a very strong position and even if not, they’ve got Buttler, Curran and Leach still to come. Alternatively, Boult just cleans them up before lunch.
England close day 1 on 241-1.
90th over: England 241-4 (Stokes 67, Pope 18) I’m getting ahead of myself like an idiot, but this looks a partnership that will bring England a generation of joy: two technically sound stylists, left hand-right hand, with moxie, tempo and chutzpah. Pope sees away four dots, playing for the close, then Southee bangs one in and he’s having not one bit of it, immediately getting to it and crunching a pull from outside off to the midwicket fence. That is very telling, and that’s a very good session for England at the end of a very good day of ‘Test cricket”.
89th over: England 237-4 (Stokes 67, Pope 14) Pope pulls a short one for one - I keep saying this, but this has been very impressive from him. He’s batting at a nice time - the bowlers have been at it all day and are under pressure from Stokes at the other end - but he’s used the pace of the new ball, generally the bowlers’ advantage - to his advantage, driving and twisting to keep the scoreboard moving.
88th over: England 236-4 (Stokes 67, Pope 13) Southee beats Stokes with one that leaves him square, but otherwise he sees away a maiden. After a stack of them this afternoon, that’s the first in a while. Two overs to go.
“Forty years ago, the wisdom was that 240-4 was a perfectly poised first day of a Test,” says Ian Forth. “Perhaps that’s the world we’re now heading back towards.”
The world is going backwards: I don’t think anyone who follows politics could dispute that sentiment.
87th over: England 236-4 (Stokes 67, Pope 13) A bye adds one to the score, a short one flying away, then Pope attacks Boult’s final delivery, presenting the full face with just enough power to send the ball speeding through point. He is loving it out there, as you might.
“Good morning, Daniel!” greets Sarah Torvalds. “Waking up to find Denly’s wicket has just fallen is a relief, somehow. There has been no England collapse, even if Root was out cheaply (again). Two hundred-odd for four, including a couple of half-centuries is a respectable score that bodes well for the rest of the tour, surely.”
Morning Sarah! I agree - when they picked the squad, I was excited to see how things went, and what we’ve seen today has accentuated that. I daresay the whole enterprise is easier when you’ve got Benjamin Andrew Stokes doing whatever he wants, but this is promising.
86th over: England 231-4 (Stokes 67, Pope 9) Was that a loss of concentration by Taylor, or did he lose sight of the ball in the evening sun? He’ll be spewing either way, and Pope clipping a straight one for four won’t improve his mood, though it brings the only runs of the over. Meanwhile, in the England dressing room, Jack Leach warms up. OMINOUS.
85th over: England 227-4 (Stokes 67, Pope 5) Boult gives Stokes a bit of width and he eases across to time a luscious drive through mid off for four! Then the next delivery is on his pads, and he bounces to clip four to deep square before prancing on his tippy-toes to carve four more! He is seeing it like Saturn! So Boult bends his back again, Stokes flashes, edges, and Taylor, at two, seems to see it late, dreaming of stillness and lollipop trees before suddenly thrusting up hands with the ball already upon him; it bursts them for a fourth consecutive four! What an oversight that could be!
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84th over: England 211-4 (Stokes 51, Pope 5) Stokes clips to deep midwicket and they run two which gives him a fifty of immense, intense expertise. That makes three of them from England’s top five; can he be the one to go on? He should be, because of those three, he’s clearly in the best touch; I would not be surprised if, at the end of his career, there’s a marked difference in his average from his debut until 2018 and from 2019 until the end.
83rd over: England 208-4 (Stokes 48, Pope 5) Boult hasn’t found his line in this spell, and when he starts too straight, Pope goes with the swing to turn four fine; he looks really busy and confident. Between overs, the PA plays Crowded House; of course it does.
Joe Denly falls victim to the new ball and the host broadcaster go to get the shot of him walking off. pic.twitter.com/VS6CnJ7MhO
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) November 21, 2019
82nd over: England 203-4 (Stokes 48, Pope 1) Denly will be absolutely rabid at himself for not leaving that, but it was exceedingly tempting. Pope gets off the mark with an elegant push to cover, and I’m really looking forward to seeing him this series; he’s so natural.
WICKET! Denly c Watling b Southee 74 (England 203-4)
This is beautiful bowling! Southee goes wider on the crease and slings down an outswinger, full of length and which leaves Denly, who can’t help but follow it. The ball is going to slip, but Watling bravely backs himself, diving across to hold a smart snaffle as Denly turns in horror and dizguzt.
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82nd over: England 203-3 (Denly 74, Stokes 48) Southee begins very nicely, angling in, finding movement off the seam, and squaring Denly right up - somehow, his right leg shoots off at an angle like a dog taking a slash, he edges ... and it drops short of second slip! Then, to further grind in the nause, he cracks four through the covers!
81st over: England 199-3 (Denly 70, Stokes 48) Bowling to three slips and a gully, Boult fairly whips in, and there’s a bit of movement off the seam; after two balls, third slip moves to short midwicket, looking for Denly to turn into his pad. Denly then drives the final delivery into the covers, and there are no demons out there. England will fancy surviving the last nine overs tonight, then ploughing through tomorrow.
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80th over: England 198-3 (Denly 69, Stokes 48) A gentle over from Santner allows Denly to add one and Stokes two. Here we go...
79th over: England 195-3 (Denly 68, Stokes 46) Both these will fancy themselves some base 10 joy, and if they can pull it off, New Zealand are in all sorts. They take a single apiece, then Wagner cracks Denly on the pad - I think there was an edge - then a big appeal, a missed run out and another single. One more over, then Boult and Southee will have a new planet with which to work.
78th over: England 192-3 (Denly 66, Stokes 45) Eeesh! Denly pokes forward at Santner and the ball drops at Latham’s ankle; did he come out of his crouch too early? On the one hand, that would’ve been a ripper had he taken it; on the other, that’s why he’s there. Three singles follow then, like a dog enjoying the taste of itself – because it can – Stokes reverse-sweeps two – because he can. That wasn’t the right shot at all, he’d just decided it was the one he was going to play, and because he’s Ben Stokes, things unfolded as he wanted them to.
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77th over: England 187-3 (Denly 64, Stokes 42) Stokes allows Wagner two balls, then slashes him up and over for four to third man. He didn’t middle that but the power did the work ... and again, four shovelled from outside off down to the midwicket fence. Pressure on New Zealand now, and Wagner retorts with a dipping, slower-ball yorker. But it’s wasted on Stokes, who digs it out nicely. He is batting like God’s dad.
76th over: England 176-3 (Denly 64, Stokes 34) Stokes takes two to point, then one to midwicket; New Zealand badly need the new marble and a wicket or two to go with it. We’ve still got another hour and a bit of play today, or as long as it takes to bowl 14 overs, so there’s plenty of time for England to ruin all their hard work.
75th over: England 176-3 (Denly 64, Stokes 31) Two fans in black body suits are in earnest debate with 5-0 as Wagner finds a bit of reverse before Stokes shows him the full face but angled, to snap four through Denly’s legs. S’perb shot. A single follows, and England are enjoying themselves the now.
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74th over: England 160-3 (Denly 64, Stokes 26)Santner continues - he comes over to Stokes – and his first ball goes back past him for one. Denly then lets him have a couple of balls before cleansing him over extra for four! That’s a terrific shot, the other side of Denly, and HAVE A LOOK! Denly comes down, sways his bac foot out of the way, and coaxes six over long on! Both those shots were so natural, and this is what England are talking about, staying out to cash in.
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73rd over: England 160-3 (Denly 54, Stokes 25) Stokes pulls Wagner’s first ball for one, then Denly eases two - also into the leg side. Four dots follow, and that’s drinks. England have earned theirs.
Elsewhere, Pakistan were 75-0 ... and then they were 78-4. Of course they were! It’s now 94-4, but that little headrush might just decide the Test.
72nd over: England 157-3 (Denly 52, Stokes 24) For the first time today, England are properly on top so, with the new meteorite due shortly, Williamson turns to Santner’s spin. Denly plays his loosener down to short leg and, moving into a run, has to quickly dash back before Latham can chuck the stumps down; that was a chance, you know. To compound frustration, Denly then edges two with soft hands – the only runs from the over.
71st over: England 155-3 (Denly 50, Stokes 24) After four dots, Wagner offers Stokes some width, and is duly flayed through point for four. He’s looking osmium-solid out there, and the partnership is now 35.
“Baby daughter decided that the start of the evening session was a good time to wake up,” says Dave Adams. “Hard to disagree right now, but suspect I’ll feel differently when I’m comatose at work later and she’s at home enjoying a nap.
Anyway, just seen the Root dismissal, and lacking context, have several questions, most of which could be summarised with ‘what the [ANGLO SAXON] was that?’. Burns, Denly, and Stokes all appear to be in the same decent form they were at the end of the Ashes. Root looks like he’s *starting* a series the way England captains used to end them during the 90s.”
First of all, mazal tov. Second of all, her sleeping during the day is a great start, let me assure you. And yes, Root looked frazzled by his inability to score - he wasn’t his usual dancing self out there, but his mates are getting him out of shtuck.
70th over: England 151-3 (Denly 50, Stokes 20) Denly will be absolutely ganting on a first Test ton; he’s so nearly established in the team now. Meanwhile, Stokes twists a single into the leg side after four dots, then Denly shows Colin the full face. England look pretty confident out there, and it looks like a wicket, if one comes, will be via a rash shot not a jaffa.
69th over: England 150-3 (Denly 50, Stokes 19) Wagner back into the attack and Stokes nudges a single and HELLO! Denly steps into a cover-drive, that takes him to 50, off 136 balls. He’d’ve took that, as Ryan Giggs would say, and so would’ve England. “He comes from Whitstable, he’s good with bat and ball,” sing a handful of wags (not WAGs). Maybe so, but he’s beaten by Wagner’s final delivery, waving outside off.
68th over: England 145-3 (Denly 46, Stokes 18) Not getting out is better than getting out, and Denly has been in the 40s for 39 balls. But it’s Stokes one strike at the start of this over, and he swipes its last ball to the man on the cover fence and they amble one.
67th over: England 144-3 (Denly 46, Stokes 17) Denly hangs about - there’s been lot of “put their bowlers into their fourth and fifth spells” chat in the England camp, I shouldn’t wonder. Maiden.
“Are we seeing in Denly the reincarnation of another late blooming 33 year-old - David Steele?” asks Ian Forth. “Doubt he’ll be Sports Personality of the Year, though.”
A strong showing in the Hunnert and who knows?
66th over: England 144-3 (Denly 46, Stokes 17) Colin returns – I do hope his dressing-room nickname is Dachsund - and Stokes edges his first ball for two, then sees off five dots and a no ball. England aren’t exactly motoring, but they’re moving and that gives New Zealand a problem.
65th over: England 141-3 (Denly 46, Stokes 15) There aren’t many sportsfolk in the world currently playing at Stokes’ level and with Stokes’ confidence; he plays four dots from Boult, then takes a single into the on side.
64th over: England 140-3 (Denly 46, Stokes 14) Oh good, the Barmy Army are making themselves heard – just what everyone needs. Louder! Louder! England have been better since tea - Stokes is in, basically - and he adds two by flicking to fine leg. He’s starting to enjoy himself, grinning away before stroking one more to deep point, and New Zealand will be starting to hear John Williams – faintly, but nevertheless.
63rd over: England 137-3 (Denly 46, Stokes 11) Boult is back and he starts with a three-quarter seamer to Denly that draws him forward before pushing him back and zipping pass his edge; not bad. And four more dots follow before Denly turns the final ball of the over away for two.
62nd over: England 135-3 (Denly 44, Stokes 11) Have a look! England pile it one with singles from three consecutive balls while, in commentary, they reckon that the pitch will quicken up tomorrow and be good for batting; England will want to be out there maybe all day, given how slowly they’re scoring. Stokes, though, adds two more by driving through point, and that’s five off the over.
61st over: England 130-3 (Denly 42, Stokes 8) Stokes sees Wagner coming so waits for him, cracking a pull over the heed of short leg for the first boundary in tiiiiiiiime. That’s warning for the bowlers: they’re not going to get away with stuff while he’s in the middle, and to prove it he plays over the top of one, toe-edging for two. It really feels like he’s ascended a level permanently now; he was a good player, now he might be a generation-definer.
60th over: England 123-3 (Denly 42, Stokes 2) Stokes dabs into the off side and adds a single, then Southee raps Denly on the pad; there’s a strangulated appeal but everyone knows it was going down.
59th over: England 123-3 (Denly 21, Stokes 1) The over-rate’s been slow, so to get in our daily quota this session will last an extra half-hour which is like someone kissing me on the mouth while booting my solar plexus in. Anyway, Stokes turns off his hip to midwicket and that’s him off a big fat one; Denly then flashes a drive, but directly to the man at extra. One off the over.
I cannot get my head around how, at 3.14am in November, we not only have this match but Australia Pakistan where, of course, that opening partnership has been broken. And yes, I understand hemispheres and timezones, but I don’t really understand them, I can just describe them. This is unreal.
9-4-13-1, Cummins just so good when nothing seems to be happening #AusvPak
— Daniel Brettig (@danbrettig) November 21, 2019
58th over: England 122-3 (Denly 42, Stokes 0) Southee presents a lovely seam and tempts Denly to play as the ball leaves him late - it’s great to see that there’s still some movement out there to keep things balanced, and there’s yet another maiden.
Meanwhile, I enjoyed this from up the road.
Great stat by @7Cricket. Pakistan's batsmen have broken the record for highest opening partnership by a visiting team at the Gabba. Previous mark of 64 was by NZ in 1980. Worth noting, Kiwis were all out 225, lost by 10 wickets #AUSvPAK
— Andrew Wu (@wutube) November 21, 2019
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57th over: England 122-3 (Denly 42, Stokes 0) Wagner opens up after tea; will England look to up the pace as the bowlers tire? Denly takes one into the covers - laid back, with his mind on his numbers and his numbers on his mind. It’s the only run off the over, and Stokes is now 0 from 12 balls. I daresay he’ll handle the pressure better than Root.
“England have finally found a solid opening partnership to dull the new ball for the stroke-makers,” emails Simon Richards. “If only we could solve that pesky, flaky fourth batting place! Test Cricket’s great isn’t it?”
I’m feeling curiously moved watching this, like I’m illicitly sharing a secret with myself and the rest of the world at the same time. Elite sport in the middle of my night is my safe word.
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Right then pals, eyes down and here we go!
This match is as beautifully balanced as you’d expect. The ball and pitch aren’t doing loads, but the bowling has been serious and so has the batting. It’s indisputable that this little tussle is the best thing our planet has to offer right now, along with Australia-Pakistan in Brisbane; they’ve just come out for the second session, with Pakistan 58-0. See you in 15 or so for the evening sesh.
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56th over: England 121-3 (Denly 41, Stokes 0) This will, I expect, be the final over before tea, which is to say that England are due to lose a wicket. In commentary they discuss which of New Zealand’s bowlers will drop out when Ferguson returns for the second Test - Wagner or Southee - and Denly edges a single to midwicket. It’s the only run of the over, and since I took over at drinks, New Zealand have taken two wicket and bowled three maidens, in 14 overs for the concession of 19 runs. TEA.
55th over: England 120-3 (Denly 40, Stokes 0) We see the wicket again, and that was such a poor shot from Root; he’ll be absolutely raging at himself. Wagner, though, is struggling to get Stokes to play - he flirts with the fourth delivery before pulling out - and the final ball of the over cuts him in half when he plays bare late. Maiden.
54th over: England 120-3 (Denly 40, Stokes 0) Eeesh! Denly comes forward and De Grandhomme deflects the ball into the stumps! Was Stokes back? Yes he was. Another maiden, and off we go again.
“I can’t quite be bothered to look it up,” says Ian Forth, “but if you were to add this Root innings onto the end of his World Cup Final knock, that’d be an awful lot of balls for very few runs, is it not? (If it helps, I’m saying ‘Is it not?’ in the voice of Matt Berry cross-examining Richard Ayoade in the IT Crowd court scene).”
I’m not sure why you’d do that, but I would say that of all the England team, if anyone bottled that final, Root bottled that final - he was so frenetic out there.
53rd over: England 120-3 (Denly 40, Stokes 0) Ah.
WICKET! Root c Southee b Wagner 2 (England 120-3)
Well fielded Jeet Raval! New Zealand’s pressure does for Root, who can’t resist a flash at a ball he could easily have left, sending catching practise to second slip.
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53rd over: England 120-2 (Denly 40, Root 0) Wagner replaces Boult and Denly is able to ignore his first two deliveries, slanting across him, and then walks down to twizzle a single to square leg. We see Ben Stokes sitting on the balcony, arms folded across himself - I say arms, I mean armigators - and, er, has he had a hair job? His thatch looks extremely ample. Anyway, Root then pushes to mid off to finally get off the mark - Raval misfields, looking for the run out and they snaffle an extra ru, giving Wagner another shy at England’s captain...
52nd over: England 116-2 (Denly 39, Root 0) Colin galumphs through another over and Denly nurdles one, then Root takes one on the pad - that looks a shout - but a replay shows there’s bat. Nineteen balls without scoring for Root now.
51st over: England 115-2 (Denly 38, Root 0) More dots; this is so refreshing. I feel like Michael Bridges Martin Fowler when Nick Cotton gave him a pill and he was dancing to the washing machines in the launderette. Different things get us going depending on the circumstances, and it’s so long since England have batted like this in a Test. Denly eases the final ball of the over to mid off and they run one, the only run of the over.
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50th over: England 115-2 (Denly 37, Root 0) New Zealand have bowled 16 maidens so far, and the ball is still moving for them. One form this over, when Denly eases away to cover point. Root has now faced 16 balls without scoring; that’ll be starting to make itself apparent to him.
49th over: England 114-2 (Denly 36, Root 0) I guess this is one of the things: now that England have a semblance of a top order, batting like they’re playing in a Test match, there’s very little chance of them getting away early doors, so their opponents can afford to be patient. Boult gets another full over at Root, who plays out another maiden confidently enough, stepping outside his crease to play one down to third man. This is compelling stuff.
360 degree views over @BayOvalOfficial suggest we are in fine weather to start the series between the @BLACKCAPS and @englandcricket. Outstanding! ☀️#NZvENG #cricketnation pic.twitter.com/khsjnF4iRz
— Jake O'Flaherty (@jakoboflaherty) November 20, 2019
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48th over: England 114-2 (Denly 36 Root 0) De Grandhomme is one of those who shows that what is a relatively complex game also remains a simple game. He bowls straight and consistently, doing just enough with the ball such that his pace doesn’t really matter, and actually makes him harder to get away. Another maiden.
47th over: England 114-2 (Denly 36, Root 0) Denly is looking pretty comfy out there, and he shoves a single into the off side. This gives Boult four balls at Root, who needs to make a statement on this tour. Not that long ago, he was talked about in the same conversation as Kohli, Williamson and Smith, but those have gone on while he’s been naused by the captaincy, his batting position and the carnage on top. He can’t hide behind any of that anymore.
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46th over: England 113-2 (Denly 35, Root 0) It’s got to be a while since Root came in with a ton on the board and 45 overs bowled. He plays a false one at De Grandhomme’s first ball, looking to drive and slicing back to the bowler, who then completes a wicket maiden.
“Of course Samuel Beckett played first class cricket and is the only Nobel Prize winner in Wisden,” emails Ian Forth. “Not only that his batting average of 8.75 would have alerted the selectors to his eligibility as an opener had he still been around.”
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WICKET! Burns c Watling b De Grandhomme 52 (England 113-2)
As I was saying! Colin suckers Burns in, pushing one across him that looks so harmless he waves a bat at it as it moves away, doing just enough, and he snicks behind for no reason whatsoever.
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45th over: England 113-1 (Burns 52, Denly 35) Denly nudges to mid-off and they snaffle one, then Sir Rory Burns takes around the corner ... and then clips four down the hill to midwicket to raise his fifth Test fifty! Oooh yeah! It really does show how things can change, and what serious competitors can do to bring it about - he looked all over the show in the Ireland and first Ashes Tests. When someone bats that like that, things rarely improve quickly, but he practised like a bastard and got it done.
44th over: England 105-1 (Burns 45, Denly 35) Colin replaces Southee and after three dots, Denly squirts him away behind square on the leg side – it’s a classic driver’s mis-step. This is Test cricket, and it’s called Test cricket for a reason etc etc - Burns is done driving at one that trundles away, and just needs to guts out this difficult period. I can’t believe the cosmos has bestowed this match upon us, nor how much it is exactly what my life required.
43rd over: England 104-1 (Burns 45, Denly 34) Burns turns one to midwicket and they amble a single. That appeal was so, so close. I guess the umpire wasn’t sure, but I’m equally sure some wouldn’t given Burns the finger there. Meanwhile Denly takes one to point.
“On Dendulkar,” says Abhijato Sensarma,Joe Denly is an epic effort man, and you can’t convince me otherwise. He isn’t the most talented batsman in the world, but he’s got the guts to just stick out there and do his job - something which a good No3 is meant to do in Test cricket. Great going mate, here’s to hoping you get another big score here!”
Yes, he’s performing a task here. Better this than a few flashy drives – which he also has – and done. He’s not the answer, but he’s an answer, at least for now.
UMPIRE'S CALL!
The ball pitches middle-and-off then straightens ... Burns is late on it ... we look to check it passes the bat ... it does ... but it’s umpire’s call on height! Aaaaarrrgggghhhh!
43rd over: England 102-1 (Burns 44, Denly 32) Boult continues and his second is a nut, squaring Burns right up. There’s a huge holler and when the umpire says naw, New Zealand review!
Greetings cricketlings! How beautiful is this?
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42nd over: England 102-1 (Burns 44, Denly 32) Denly plays a nice straight push for a single off Southee, and then Burns chips over point to bring up the fifty partnership. Both these batsmen have now surpassed their average. There’s a big score calling to them.
And that’s drinks, with England on top but certainly not having it all their own way. Time for me to hand over to Daniel Harris, who’s got the short straw. Thanks for your company.
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41st over: England 100-1 (Burns 43, Denly 31) Williamson gives Wagner a rest at last, and Boult returns to offer something different from the same angle. He has an LBW shout (leg stump, but too high), finds some swing and concedes no runs.
40th over: England 100-1 (Burns 43, Denly 31) Southee keeps Denly quiet until he strays onto the pads and concedes a couple, which brings up England’s hundred. The score is a lot healthier than 58 all out, and yet New Zealand have never lost control.
39th over: England 98-1 (Burns 43, Denly 29) Now it’s Denly’s turn to edge, pushing a touch tentatively at Wagner, but the ball falls short of Taylor. Next ball, Denly plays and misses. Wagner has stamina as well as steep bounce: he has now bowled 12 successive overs from the same end, spanning lunch.
38th over: England 96-1 (Burns 42, Denly 28) Burns is missed! A regulation nick off Southee, a chance for both first and second slip (Taylor and Latham), and each of them leaves it to the other. Oh dear.
37th over: England 91-1 (Burns 37, Denly 28) When Wagner bowls, two quite different dramas are unfolding. Wagner v Denly is a melodrama, implausible but entertaining; Wagner v Burns is Beckett, with very little happening but plenty of subtext. The inevitable bouncer glances Burns on the helmet and brings four leg byes. A length ball goes past the outside edge, and Burns shovels a single, his third off Wagner.
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36th over: England 85-1 (Burns 36, Denly 27) If you need someone to restore order, Southee’s your man.
35th over: England 85-1 (Burns 36, Denly 27) Wagner’s 95th bouncer of the day, and Denly is ready with that pull of his. And again! Even more handsomely (albeit with a play-and-miss in between). Denly has followed those 20 dots with 27 off his last 29 balls.
34th over: England 77-1 (Burns 36, Denly 19) Just a single to each batsman off Southee, who’s using the crease like the old pro he is. In eight overs, he has conceded only six scoring shots – two fours and four singles.
33rd over: England 75-1 (Burns 35, Denly 18) Denly nails this pull, as Wagner’s bouncer finally encounters an urge to score. Wagner responds well, adding 5kph, beating the bat, then taking the edge, before Denly hits an even better pull, exuding authority. The next one is short too, and Denly withdraws the bat at the last minute. Good contest.
32nd over: England 67-1 (Burns 35, Denly 10) Denly pulls out the pull, just for a single, but he’s getting into the groove now.
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31st over: England 66-1 (Burns 35, Denly 9) Wagner continues, not digging it in this time, and not finding his line either. Denly glances for two and square-drives for three. Faced with Burns, Wagner reverts to the short stuff, which produces the same old stalemate.
Meanwhile another Test match has begun in the Antipodes. Permission to join Geoff Lemon.
30th over: England 61-1 (Burns 35, Denly 4) Despite that field, Southee fancies his chances of a nick. He goes full and fifth stump-ish, and soon has Burns playing at thin air. That’s a maiden.
The players are back out there. The sun is still shining, and Tim Southee is getting loose. He has two slips and a gully for Burns, which seems a little on the defensive side.
“Thanks for the OBO commentary,” says Alexander Morrice. It’s a pleasure. “Combined with a pair of thick socks and a whisky I can’t pronounce, it’s the ideal winter evening.” I could do with both of those items. “Was just thinking the comment in the 23rd over sold de Grandhomme short – to me it’s the name of a medieval French guy raised to high social status for being absurdly tall.”
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Lunchtime reading
Don’t miss out on the Wikipedia page for Mount Maunganui. If you don’t learn any new words from it, I’m a Chinaman. Either that, or you’re a Maori geologist.
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29th over: England 61-1 (Burns 35, Denly 4) Burns, facing Wagner yet again, finally produces the shot that Atherton was advocating, a shovel round the corner for a single. Inelegant but effective. And that’s lunch, with honours evenish. England have shown the glue that Chris Silverwood demanded, but they’ve also got stuck in the mud, scoring at only two an over and not cashing in on a very hospitable pitch. Rory Burns, reprieved by a feeble non-review, has been stolid and sturdy; his maxi-me, Dom Sibley, did better on debut than most. All to play for, still.
28th over: England 60-1 (Burns 34, Denly 4) After 20 dots on the trot, Denly sees a half-volley from de Grandhomme and threads it through the covers with that classy touch of his.
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27th over: England 56-1 (Burns 34, Denly 0) Wagner, who handed Sibley two fours in his first over, has been thoroughly stingy with Burns, conceding only one off 21 balls to him. The reason is that Burns makes no effort to score off the short stuff. He’s not short of guts, though: he lets the last ball of this over brush him on the breastbone.
26th over: England 56-1 (Burns 34, Denly 0) Kane Williamson, who always seems so nice, is showing his bowlers little mercy today. He gives de Grandhomme an eighth over, but maybe he’s onto something because Denly (17 balls now) can’t get off the mark.
25th over: England 56-1 (Burns 34, Denly 0) Wagner to Burns: more short stuff, one beauty, no joy, but no run either.
Just found two tweets from James Walsh, sent before the wicket. “Every time a commentator mentions Dom Sibley,” Walsh wrote, “I hear it in the voice of Cat out of Red Dwarf.” And then: “Claiming that.” Fair enough.
24th over: England 56-1 (Burns 34, Denly 0) Burns gets down on one knee to de Grandhomme, not to sweep, nor even to propose, but to square-drive. That brings him three, and again, as in the Ashes, Burns is managing to start a series well. And although he’s had one big let-off, he hasn’t played nearly as many false shots as he did that day at Edgbaston.
23rd over: England 53-1 (Burns 31, Denly 0) Out comes Joe Denly, so instead of having bum-out stances at both ends, we have moustaches. England will clearly be putting on a production of Journey’s End during lunch.
An email arrives from Brisbane. “Thoroughly enjoying the austere Victorian-style grinding going on out in the middle,” says Alex Coe. “Much-needed backbone to our previously limp upper order. However, on an unrelated topic, am I alone in thinking that Colin’s surname sounds like a brand of supersized French letter?”
22nd over: England 52-1 (Burns 30, Denly 0) Well, the game needed that. Sibley departs having done his job, seeing off the new ball, but also with some of the questions ringing in his ears that await every new face on this stage.
Wicket! Sibley c Taylor b de Grandhomme 22 (England 52-1)
The breakthrough! Sibley survives an appeal for LBW from de Grandhomme but immediately falls to a nick, slickly taken at first slip by Ross Taylor, low to his right. Sibley looked a million dollars on middle-and-leg, and about £2.99 when the New Zealanders went just outside off.
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21st over: England 52-0 (Burns 30, Sibley 22) Wagner decides to try some short stuff at Burns, who handled it uncertainly in the Ashes. He does that thing of his, leaving the ball while thrusting his gloves out towards it. “He’s just got to find a way,” Mike Atherton says, “of knocking it round the corner and getting off strike.”
John Starbuck is picking up the thread from the 7th over. “Yes, it’s always good to have an established opening pair, though the first I really recall is Bob Barber and Geoff Boycott (sensation! he once came out with his shirt sleeves rolled up!). But let’s not forget the bowler pairings too: Southee and Trent seem to have been around for ever, just like Anderson and Broad (pity Jimmy isn’t here today), and maybe Hall and Griffiths, Lilian Thomson, Wakhar and Wasim, Steyn and Morkel, Ramadhin and Valentine - plenty to remember, if not fondly, then admiringly.”
20th over: England 52-0 (Burns 30, Sibley 22) A single to each batsman off de Grandhomme, into the leg side. If Sibley has scored a single run on the off, I can’t remember it. The atmosphere is like a four-day county game – green and pleasant, a touch sleepy.
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19th over: England 50-0 (Burns 29, Sibley 21) Let’s clip again, like we did last over: Sibley this time, collecting his first international three. And that’s the fifty up. It’s been solid.
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18th over: England 47-0 (Burns 29, Sibley 18) Another ball down leg side, from de Grandhomme this time, and Burns cashes in with a glance. He’s now reached his Test average.
The confessional note struck by James Higgott (10th over) is picked up by Matt Dony. “Two years ago, during the away Ashes series, I was just starting a new job and trying to absorb a whole load of new information about a brand new industry. I was trying to find the sweet spot between ‘Enjoying a little bit of cricket, then getting a good night’s sleep and being refreshed ready for a day of learning’, and ‘Following cricket until silly o’clock, and struggling all day at work.’ It was a balance I struggled to find. Fast forward two years, and I have just started a new job in another new industry, and I’m faced with the same dilemma. Right, let’s see if I’ve learned anything. (Reader, I haven’t learned.)’’
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17th over: England 43-0 (Burns 25, Sibley 18) Boult finally gets a break as Neil Wagner comes on. He lives in Mount Maunganui, apparently, and enjoys running up that hill in 10 point something seconds. Perhaps overcome at playing a Test in front of the neighbours, he starts with a piece of legside filth and finishes with another. Sibley, warming to the task, flicks them both for four.
16th over: England 35-0 (Burns 25, Sibley 10) The difference between de Grandhomme and the new-ball bowlers is in the singles. Sibley helps himself to a leg glance, comfy as can be.
“Amongst Englishmen,” says Ian Forth, “I know Gower hit his first ball in Test cricket to the fence, but off the top of my head can’t recall any other members of this set of which Sibley is now a member. I’ve ruled out Gooch and Hutton, at any rate.”
15th over: England 33-0 (Burns 24, Sibley 9) Boult isn’t getting that breather yet. Perhaps in protest, he dishes up the loosener that his replacement might have bowled at this juncture, and Burns pushes it past cover for three. Sibley collects some more dots before playing and missing, unnecessarily, as Boult goes round the wicket. Sibley’s technique is more or less what Burns sees in the mirror: twitchy, all sideways movement, until the ball arrives and calm suddenly descends.
14th over: England 30-0 (Burns 21, Sibley 9) Burns, continuing to adjust to de Grandhomme’s lack of pace, plays yet another crisp clip off his hip. Instead of the slips, they should think about having three square legs. And that’s drinks, with England’s latest opening pair doing just what the new coach ordered, helped by a poor decision not to review.
13th over: England 29-0 (Burns 20, Sibley 9) I don’t believe it – THREE singles, off Boult, who is due a break. He must be wondering what on earth has gone wrong. At this stage of their last Test series in New Zealand, he had a five-for and England were 23-7.
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12th over: England 26-0 (Burns 18, Sibley 8) And de Grandhomme almost strikes, finding a leading edge as Burns goes too early into his beloved tuck to leg. As yet another maiden looms, Burns repeats the shot and picks up three. Now that’s what I call learning from your mistakes.
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And England have made it to a bowling change! Colin de Grandhomme is coming on to replace Southee.
11th over: England 23-0 (Burns 15, Sibley 8) Sibley is back on the dot dot dot, mostly leaving, but playing and missing at the last ball from Boult. Let’s call it now: this man has what it takes to bore for England.
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10th over: England 23-0 (Burns 15, Sibley 8) Southee and Boult have offered these two nothing to cut – until now, when Southee drops short and Burns slaps him away for four.
Meanwhile, an unusual email comes in. “I am so happy to hear some Test cricket again,” says James Higgott. “Since the fifth Ashes Test I’ve become a dad – my wife and I adopted two young girls – and my life has been turned upside down, in a mostly positive way. What with that, the World Cup final and the second Headingley miracle, 2019 has been one of the more memorable years. Listening to a bit of late-night TMS (and following the OBO of course) is a welcome taste of my old life. I may eat my words but I like the current line-up a lot. As long as enough of them aren’t hopelessly out of form there’s enough grit and muscle in the top and middle order to reach 400+ regularly.” Oof. Many congrats on the girls.
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9th over: England 19-0 (Burns 11, Sibley 8) At last! Another single, as Burns, facing Boult, plays a chunky push past gully. The camera zooms in on him to reveal a moustache, presumably in honour of Movember. It wouldn’t have been out of place in World War I.
8th over: England 18-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 8) Sibley continues to join the dots, 21 of them now, and wafts worryingly at one from Southee that’s too far down leg. But then another half-volley turns up and he puts it through midwicket. You can feel his relief from the other side of the world.
7th over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Boult beats Burns again, without the nick, and that’s the fourth maiden in a row. In seven overs, England have taken two singles, one of which was madness. This pair, who used to share a car when Sibley was still at Surrey, may need to work on that. But they’ve already made one viewer happy.
“Whisper it,” says Sachin Paul. “In a tiny teeny voice. Don’t these two resemble the solid Cook-Compton duo from India 2012? How I’ve missed having two real openers!”
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6th over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Southee again, Sibley again, maiden again. There was one half-volley but Sibley couldn’t pierce the ring.
5th over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Boult is the bowler Sam Curran could be in five years’ time – boyish but senior. He gives Burns “the best ball of the morning,” as Ian Smith calls it, and appeals for caught behind. Not given, or reviewed, but... there seems to have been a tickle. “Oh man,” says Smith. “It’s made a mark on the bat.”
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4th over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Sibley sees out a maiden from Southee. He’s got through 11 balls now, the last ten of them dots, but that’s what he has been brought in for.
“Doesn’t Test cricket look beautiful?” asks Gary Naylor. It sure does.
3rd over: England 14-0 (Burns 10, Sibley 4) Burns keeps Boult out for four balls, then cashes in – an on push for four, a tuck for four more. The outfield is on the batsmen’s side.
Time for a word from John Starbuck. “Good evening. Jack Leach at 10 means Stuart Broad at 11, which must not have been in his career plan. He was once touted as a no 8, after all; but then, so many Englishmen have. TMS have described this ground as ‘shiny’. Any evidence for that?” Not as yet.
“Hi,” says Penelope Dening, “please could you flag up the link that allows TMS to be heard abroad, in my case France?” Hoping to throw that one out to your fellow far-flung fans.
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2nd over: England 6-0 (Burns 2, Sibley 4) Burns, facing Tim Southee, tucks into the on side and sets off for a single that is best described as homicidal. If the throw had hit, Sibley would have been left high and dry with that strike rate of 400. He dives, survives, dusts himself off and sees out the over with more leaves than prods. His stance is bum-out, which makes two of them.
“Aaaaah Test cricket,” says Guy Hornsby, “we’ve missed you. And it’s against the best opponents in the world. Plenty to be excited about too. I really hope Sibley survives to this being printed.” He has. “Or at least until lunch. This batting line-up is peak potential v reality.”
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1st over: England 5-0 (Burns 1, Sibley 4) Trent Boult bowls the first ball in a Test at Mount Maunganui, under a royal-blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds. It’s a bouncer, smartly ducked by Rory Burns. After that, Boult pitches it up and gets some swing, so Williamson gives him a fifth man in the cordon. Burns edges one, but low, and inside-edges another, which squirts away for a single. And Sibley – who has the air of an amiable giant – gets a straight half-volley, swinging gently back into him, which he puts away, crisply. His Test strike rate is 400.
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And here’s Simon McMahon. “Evening Tim. Let’s ring that OBO bell, and play cricket. God knows we need it right now.” A pep talk! Thank you.
An email! “Good morning/evening, Tim,” says Ian Forth. “You seem to have missed an exclamation mark. Jack Leach promoted to 10 in the order! Perhaps, like Wilfred Rhodes, he’ll start his first Test at 11 and end up opening.” Hasn’t he done that already?
News round-up. There’s no wind, contrary to what some idiots have been suggesting. The pitch, in another setback for the armchair pundit, isn’t as green as it was two days ago. And Jofra Archer has been loosening up by riding a Segway round the outfield. The commentators are torn between a smile (he’s so relaxed!) and a po face (what if he got hurt?). Archer, true to form, looked as if he’d been doing it all his life.
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So the big question is, can England last more than 21 overs? And the medium-sized question is, can Dom Sibley get going right away?
Here’s how England’s new openers have done in their first Test innings over the past four years. Hales 10, Duckett 14, Hameed 31, Jennings 112, Stoneman 8, Burns 9, Denly 6, Roy 5. Moral of the story: if you want to stay in the frame, don’t get into double figures.
Teams: no surprises
Kane Williamson, honest enough to say he would have batted too, confirms that he’s sticking with the team announced yesterday, and so is Root. These sides were separated at birth, weren’t they?
New Zealand 1 Jeet Raval, 2 Tom Latham, 3 Kane Williamson (capt), 4 Ross Taylor, 5 Henry Nicholls, 6 BJ Watling (wkt), 7 Colin de Grandhomme, 8 Mitch Santner, 9 Tim Southee, 10 Neil Wagner, 11 Trent Boult.
England 1 Rory Burns, 2 Dominic Sibley, 3 Joe Denly, 4 Joe Root (capt), 5 Ben Stokes, 6 Ollie Pope, 7 Jos Buttler (wkt), 8 Sam Curran, 9 Jofra Archer, 10 Jack Leach, 11 Stuart Broad.
Toss: England win and bat
Joe Root calls heads, it is, and he knows what he wants. “Hopefully bat long.”
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Preamble
Evening everyone, morning everyone else, and welcome to the OBO’s first Test series of 2019-20. It’s only two games and it doesn’t count towards the new Test Championship, but apart from that it’s looking worthy of a few exclamation marks. Two teams that have become inseparable! Jofra Archer’s first Test overseas! Dominic Sibley’s international debut! The return of Kane Williamson! And Ollie Pope! Chris Silverwood’s first Test as coach! Mount Maunganui’s first Test full stop! Seven hours without having to think about Prince Andrew!
The forecast is for 20 degrees and “sunny to partly cloudy”, which should make both sides feel at home. To sunny and cloudy we can probably add windy and noisy, as Maunganui, which becomes only the ninth Test venue in New Zealand, is perched on a promontory, next to an airport. England played New Zealand there only last year, and won. But that was Eoin Morgan’s one-day team, buccaneering for Blighty. This is the Test side, under a new boss who wants them to remember how to be boring. It will be fascinating to see if they manage it.
The ball is the Kookaburra – the bore’s best friend – not the king of all, the Dukes. But it could be countered by the pitch, which looks green. And the last time they embarked on a Test series in New Zealand, 20 months ago, England were all out before Williamson had time to change the bowling. So New Zealand are favourites, but pretty much anything can happen. Play starts at 10pm GMT: see you just after 9.30 for the toss and teams.
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