Venture outside at the crack of dawn in New York City and you may be astonished to come across one of the city’s most bustling, if eclectic, social scenes: its dog community.
Along the concrete pavements, the grassy park and the wood-chipped runs, neuroscience professors mingle seamlessly with canteen cooks, musicians exchange canine stories with attorneys, and graphic designers share minute details of recent business trips with struggling actors.
But there is one thing the dog-owning-humans do not all agree on: where their dogs sleep. Crate or cage? Dog bed? In human’s bed with human?
The last, whether an American thing, a New York thing, or a simple modern-human-dog-loving thing, may seem outlandish to outsiders, but within the community it is an open secret.
One fall morning, my Belgian photographer colleague and I climbed the Great Hill in Central Park to ask dogs and their humans where they had spent the night before.
Anamaria Perez and Iggy, an Italian greyhound: ‘I was adamant I would never let it happen’
Anamaria Perez, a 30-year-old interior designer and first-time dog owner, admits that up until a couple of months ago, when she got Iggy, she was adamant she would never let a dog sleep in her bed.
“I used to say, ‘That’s disgusting’. And now, well …”, she laughs. Her resolve lasted about two weeks. After that, Iggy was allowed in her bed. “It’s because I want to cuddle,” she explains.
But a few weeks into their new arrangement, Iggy was kicked back out. “I got grossed out. You see how dirty they get at the park, and even if you wipe their paws when you come in, you’re not sure,” continues Perez, who says her life has gained in structure and systematic early morning starts since Iggy entered it. “Your level of hygiene goes down when you have a dog.”
But then last week, the temperature dropped, and she says she could tell her dog was cold. “So now he’s back in my bed, and we’re back to cuddling.”
Lloyd Parker and Larry David, a silver labrador: ‘He sleeps either in his crate in my bedroom or at the foot of my bed’
“Larry does not sleep in bed with me,” Lloyd Parker, 53, announces proudly.
This is a habit Larry David had to unlearn. When he was a puppy being house trained over the course of two months by Parker’s sister, she not only let him sleep in her bed – she let him sleep on her head.
Did he have any trouble imposing the new boundaries? None at all, Parker says.
That is not to say his four-legged friend is not appreciated: on Sunday, Parker is throwing Larry David a birthday party in Central Park – to which he kindly extended an invitation. “I think Larry deserves a little recognition on his first birthday.”
As I make to leave, Parker acts surprised. “What – so you’re not going to ask where Larry goes when I have company?”
Well, since you breached the subject, I offer ...
“Usually in the crate.”
Which, yes ... is in the bedroom.
Parker takes a moment.
“Sometimes, it gets a little awkward.”
D Mara Lowenstein and Charlie, a Havanese mix: ‘He sleeps in my bed, usually on my head’
When attorney D Mara Lowenstein adopted now seven-year-old Charlie four years ago, the Havanese mix was unbelievably traumatized, she says. She rescued him from a high-kill shelter where he was about to be put down. She says it was clear Charlie had never been properly housetrained.
Lowenstein remembers her first night with Charlie vividly and describes with wide eyes and expressive gestures how he lay on his back, paws flapping, severely frightened.
“At the time I was engaged, and my fiancé did not want the dog in the bed,” she says.
She could hardly bear it.
“Now there’s no more fiancé and Charlie sleeps in my bed, as close to me as possible. Often on my head.”
Adam Rodney and Ollie, a Bedlington terrier: ‘In his own bed, not mine. I know because I bought a surveillance camera’
When Adam Rodney, 30, first got Ollie, a Bedlington terrier who is now five months, he took to sleeping with the puppy on his living room couch (“so that he could be comfortable”). But when his back starting hurting, Rodney realized he had to go back to his own bed.
“So I got him a doggie bed at the foot of my bed,” Rodney, who works in music management, says.
Rodney did not want to have Ollie in his own bed, but he was worried the puppy might sneakily be disobeying rules during the day, when Rodney was out of the apartment.
“So I bought a home security camera to find out,” Rodney says. Besides, he was also curious to know how Ollie occupied his days more generally.
What did the device reveal?
“It’s just sad. He spends his day waiting for me by the door, sitting or laying down.”
No bad human bed-visiting tendencies then. Just devotion.
That’s terrible, I tell Rodney, a little heartbroken.
“I know, but I think that’s the life of a lot of dogs,” Rodney, who is now thinking of returning the security camera, says.
At first, people made fun of Ollie, Rodney says. “Kids on my Harlem block would make sheep noises when they would see us.” But now everyone has come round. “All the ladies love him.” Nicknames to emerge include “Bentley” and “the pimp of Harlem.”
Dorothy Newell and Luna, a border collie/papillon mix: ‘Dogs need to know their number in the hierarchy of the house’
Years ago, before having children, Dorothy Newell, a 60-year-old NBC news producer, and her husband used to have their dogs sleep in their bed, but that changed when they had twins.
“Luna sleeps on the floor, but on a very nice pillow,” she says.
Newell, who as a young adult was a dolphin trainer for three years, says dogs need to know their position in the hierarchy of the household. “Once they know that, they are happy.”
Stopping them from sleeping on the human bed helps them figure out they are not top dog, she says.
There have been times where the rule could have been revisited, though. “I suggested at one point to have Luna join us in bed, but my husband said no.”
Derek Epps and Roman, a pit bull: ‘He sleeps in his own bed. Except sometimes on vacation. And on business trips’
Derek Epps, 34, says that Roman, his one-and-a-half-year-old pit bull mix has his own bed, situated in front of the bed Epps shares with his wife. Sometimes Roman also likes to sleep in a leather recliner chair in the living room – “the one piece of furniture he is allowed to climb up on”.
Epps, who works in marketing, appears firm about this.
“It’s a dog. It’s an animal. Yes, you love them, but it’s a dog. You have to have some kind of boundaries. And think about cleanliness. New York is full of germs. Think about the germs he is bringing into your bed.”
The firmness relaxes a little, though, when Epps travels for work or for pleasure and his wife is not around.
“If I am in a hotel room and it’s just me, then it’s fine,” Epps says, explaining that Roman then gets to sleep on the bed with Epps, albeit at the foot of it.
This happens quite often. Epps takes Roman on business trips as much as possible when the journey can be done by car rather than plane.
Nancy Nelson, and Kali, a black labrador: ‘She sleeps on the rug underneath the bed. She’s very timid”
Kali, a one-and-a-half-year-old black lab, has just been “let out” of the crate, her owner Nancy Nelson explains, referring to the practice of keeping dogs in crates at night and while humans are out of the house – sometimes used as a house training method.
Since then, Kali has mostly migrated to sleeping on the rug, underneath the human bed.
“She’s very timid,” Nelson says.
When Kali was a younger puppy, Nelson says, she hardly moved from under the bed for shyness.
As a special treat on vacation, Kali does have access to the human bed. “She seems to have oozed her way into that one,” Nelson says.
Last week, though Nelson was not on vacation, Kali took it a step further. “We had a thunderstorm night, so she jumped into bed with us. She gets nervous.”
Dave Wilson, 52, and Jessie, a Garden State terrier mix: ‘In bed with my girlfriend and me’
Jessie, a two-and-a-half-year-old terrier mix who was rescued in New Jersey, will typically start out in bed with Dave Wilson, 52, and his girlfriend. Later on, the dog may move around and go to her own bed.
Wilson is the main caregiver for the dog, he says. His girlfriend used to be a cat person, but came round to the idea of a dog a few years ago when the couple dog-sat together for three weeks.
As Jessie bops backwards and forwards, alternatively catching a yellow and then a pink Frisbee that Wilson continues to patiently pick up and throw, he admits Jessie sometimes gets in the way of intimacy.
“Because she kind of feels like a kid, and she’s always in the room.”
