Dear Coleen,
I’m a man in my 40s and I’ve been divorced for a few years.
Recently, I got into my first serious relationship since the divorce and things are looking good. However, it bothers me that my girlfriend has had plenty of ex-boyfriends and she’s also admitted to having lots of one-night stands.
I was married for 18 years, so have had far fewer sexual partners than she has had, and I can’t help wondering if I will end up being just another name in her long line of exes.
Am I making too much of this?
Coleen says,
Yes, I think you are. When you get to a certain age and especially if you haven’t been married or in a long-term relationship, you’re going to have a history that includes several sexual partners.
I think you need to focus on the present (and the future) or you could end up sabotaging the relationship before you’ve given it a proper chance.
Ask yourself if this is more about your own personal insecurities than your girlfriend’s sexual history.
On the plus side (and it’s a big plus), she’s been honest with you about her past relationships and that’s a good foundation.
Maybe she’s never met anyone she’s wanted to commit to before – and perhaps you’re that person. Be positive!
