ANOTHER END-GAME?
In the aftermath of Chelsea’s annihilation at the hands of Watford, there was a very brief moment during Antonio Conte’s post-match interview with Sky reporter Patrick Davison when The Fiver thought the Italian was going to lunge at his interrogator and do him a mischief. Showing the kind of dogged tenacity, determination and gung-ho spirit that had been conspicuous by its absence in Chelsea’s players, Sky’s man in the belly of the Vicarage Road beast pressed their manager on what specific mistakes he’d made in choosing his starting lineup.
Pressed and pressed and pressed and pressed and pressed and pressed and pressed and pressed like Mrs Doyle offering a visitor to Craggy Island Parochial House a nice cup of tea and steadfastly refusing to take no for an answer. Resisting what looked like an overwhelming urge to thump Davison and looking very much like he’d like to pull his own hair out if only it hadn’t cost such a lot of money, Conte stood there looking exasperated but fronted up manfully, because that’s just the kind of fellow he is.
“I’m talking about the starting 11 and … yeah maybe the starting 11 was wrong because the start was very poor,” he seethed, gallantly refusing to publicly name and shame the £40m summer acquisition whose performance prior to his dismissal on the half-hour mark was so comically inept that the 10 men he left behind seemed briefly buoyed. But if relations between Conte and Davison seem strained, they were almost certainly cordial compared to those between the Italian and his employers, who have been forced to spend all season listening to Conte publicly grumbling about not getting the sw@nky signings he wanted and having to make do with Ross Barkley, and then seeing him mastermind consecutive thrashings. It’s no secret that Roman Abramovich is a big fan of expansive and adventurous football but the prospect of seeing it being played by the likes of Bournemouth and Watford against his own team isn’t exactly what motivated him to invest so heavily.
Never slow to pull the trigger on managers he feels are underperforming or failing to toe the party line, particularly in the month of February, the Russian has yet to do so this time and nobody seems more surprised than Conte, who has the air about of him of a man who can’t wait to be relieved of his position. Having given his players three days off, Conte must now plan his escape and a quick look at the fixture list should give him succour: André Villas-Boas, Mick McCarthy, Roberto Mancini, Paolo Di Canio and Chris Hughton and Craig Shakespeare are some of the managers who’ve lost their jobs on the back of unsatisfactory results against West Brom in recent years and, as luck would have it, the Baggies visit next week.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
2 February: “There was never any issue about getting it done … I still live locally and my kids go to school here so I see all the fans here, there and everywhere!” – Paul Heckingbottom enthuses about signing his new deal as Barnsley manager.
6 February: Paul Heckingbottom signs another new deal … as Nasty Leeds manager. “Yes, it was unexpected. Yes, it has come during an already complicated period. Yes, it will make things more difficult,” sniffed Tykes chief suit Gauthier Ganaye.
RECOMMENDED LOOKING
David Squires on Riyad Mahrez and his Leicester impasse. But it’s especially about the little details.
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FIVER LETTERS
“I am equidistant between Leeds and Bradford, whose league teams have both encouraged their managers to do one in the past 48 hours. And I actually live nearest to Guiseley, whose boss Paul Cox is scarcely making space on the mantelpiece for his long-service award with the team having just hit the bottom of the National League. I’m left wondering what it is that makes this sliver of West Yorkshire a Bermuda Triangle for gaffers … and whether Mr Wagner across the way at Huddersfield has Pickfords’ number on speed-dial” – David Carr.
“So, after spending my entire Monday skilfully avoiding finding out the Super Bowl result in order to watch it upon my return home, I settle down to read my favourite tea-timely association football email and, lo and behold, a completely unnecessary and somewhat bewildering and frankly irrelevant statement in the lower section jumps off the page at me – PATRIOTS LOSE – in capitals and with three exclamation marks! Thanks a bunch” – Richard Hill [but the PATRIOTS LOST!!! – Fiver Ed].
“I feel for Greg Grimmer (yesterday’s Fiver letters). Is there anything more dispiriting than not winning prizeless letter o’ the day when you are the only contributor? Other than reading The Fiver, obviously” – Nigel Walter.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … David Carr.
THE RECAP
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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Ander Herrera, Marcus Rashford and Jesse Lingard have taken part in a short film by Manchester United in which they recite a poem to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the Munich air disaster. “As youth players, the history of the club is instilled in us and it’s really important we learn and understand about what happened in 1958 – not just about the disaster, but also what an amazing team the Busby Babes were and the legacy they left,” said Lingard.
Newport boss Michael Flynn has apologised to Mauricio Pochettino over the leaking of a scouting report about Spurs. “Things have a habit of coming out and it happens in football. There was no malice in it,” he blathered. Meanwhile, Flynn confirmed forward Sean Rigg has left the club to “pursue a career in being a tattoo artist”.
Ronald Koeman has been confirmed as the man whose job it is to make the Netherlands great at football again.
Crystal Palace boss Mr Roy gulped hard before taking a peek at the void below as he digested news that Wilfried Zaha must see a knee-knack specialist.
And Colombian outfit Fortaleza say a desire to get down with the kids was behind the classy decision to plaster their new kit in emojis. “It is not aimed at the idiots or to those fans that like to fight, but to the millennials,” parped a club suit.
STILL WANT MORE?
On the 60th anniversary of the Munich disaster, Jamie Jackson talks to Manchester United’s longest-standing season-ticket holder Geoffrey Fink and his wife Ruth about their memories; Paul Wilson writes on why remembering Munich matters; and Roger Domeneghetti explains how the tragedy devastated – and changed – football journalism.
Dortmund’s Nuri Sahin talks Klopp, Tuchel, his Brexit night and club loyalty with Andy Brassell.
Arsenal’s Lisa Evans gets her chat on with Suzanne Wrack, about her vlogging campaign to encourage more women to play the game.
Why are Bournemouth suddenly the team of the moment? Martin Laurence explains Eddie Howe’s side’s revival.
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