In 1977, ABC won the network ratings war for the first time, thanks in no small part to "Charlie's Angels" and "Three's Company," two hits that relied heavily on Farrah Fawcett and Suzanne Somers modeling one tight outfit after another. It was the birth of jiggle TV.
That tawdry trend was pretty much abandoned after "Baywatch" got beached. But someone forgot to tell today's producers of certain dating shows.
"Love Island USA," which kicked off its fourth season this week on Peacock, seems determined to prove it can be raunchier than "Too Hot to Handle" and "Temptation Island," two other series that owe a lot to soft-core pornography.
At first glance, "Love," which will share six new episodes each week, seems fairly innocent.
Host Sarah Hyland, a key contributor to Emmy favorite "Modern Family," welcomes viewers like she's about to conduct a tour of Disneyland. Contestant Andy Voyen, a Twin Cities Realtor, insists he's committed to being "Minnesota Nice."
"I normally am the heartbreaker," he says, flashing a toothy smile. "I don't want to break any more hearts."
But it doesn't take long before the show's true colors are revealed.
Voyen and his castmates, which include Sioux Falls, South Dakota, waiter Isaiah Campbell, introduce themselves by grinding in front of the camera like they're auditioning for a strip joint.
In her first interview, Deborah Chubb confesses that she forgot to wear her underwear. A little later, she asks Campbell if Minnesota is its own state. One hunk readily admits that he prefers to be called "daddy" in bed.
Before long, the 10 horndogs are ogling one another — and there's a lot to take in. In the premiere, they only interact when the men are shirtless and the women sport bikinis that leave nothing to the imagination.
At least on "The Bachelor," cast members spend a little time making small talk. In this series, players cap their first evening together by playing a raunchy party game that features whipped-cream kisses and finger sucking. It's also revealed that they'll be sharing beds.
None of these hotties is seeking a rose. But don't be surprised if half of them end up being gifted with an STD.
"FBoy Island," which started its second season on HBO Max earlier this month, has a similar dress code and approach. But at least it takes time to wink to the cameras.
In this series, half of the male suitors are only in it for the cash. Their job is to convince the three bachelorettes that they're as wholesome as Voyen thinks he is.
Give a lot of credit to host Nikki Glaser, who refuses to take any of this nonsense seriously. You can practically hear her cackling off stage as the men stare each other down while debating pressing issues like who has the best abs.
This is the rare dating show where the women come across as the smarter gender, not that it takes much. The lads engage in so much juvenile behavior that they should swap out their trunks for diapers.
Go ahead and enjoy these programs as good, silly, not-so-wholesome fun. Just don't expect to get emotionally invested in the "relationships." At least on "Big Brother" and "Survivor" you eventually feel a connection to a couple of the participants. In these two shows, the most you're likely to learn is that one of them prefers to walk around naked.
In many ways, network TV has grown up. But compared with the contestants on "Love Island" and "FBoy Island," Fawcett and Somers seem like feminists.
———
ABOUT THE WRITER
Neal Justin covers the entertainment world, primarily TV and radio, for the Star Tribune.
———
