EVER heard of Napoleon's 'piano'? It sounds like a comical title for a famous Goon Show script back in 1955, doesn't it?
As a matter of fact, it was. Such is the impact Napoleon Bonaparte, the legendary French emperor and European conqueror, still has on people today.
Bonaparte was also a master of propaganda, along with being a dictator, a civil law reformer and responsible in the meat grinder of war for the deaths of up to 3.5 million soldiers.
He just liked to be remembered, right? His series of brutal and bloody military campaigns finally ended on the battlefield of Waterloo, in Belgium, in 1815.
After earlier escaping his first island prison at Elba, Bonaparte was on the comeback trail when defeated. That's why the British Government chose instead to exile him to the remote island of St Helena in the South Atlantic where he died six years later.
His remains were exhumed after 19 years, in 1840, returned to Paris and put in a magnificent marble tomb in Les Invalides. The French still revere his memory and treasure his memorabilia.
So, why should we remember him in the Hunter? Well, a lot of his English enemies, the victors of the Napoleonic Wars, both officers and troops, settled around Maitland.
Maitland itself may even be named after the commander of HMS Bellerophon to whom Napoleon surrendered after meeting his Waterloo. As well, there is the legend the Hunter River willows originally came from transplanted cuttings from near his (now empty) grave on St Helena.
People are also very surprised when they stumble across a striking plaster cast of Napoleon's death mask in northern Tasmania, of all places, at Launceston's Queen Victoria Museum.
Even stranger, there's another copy of Napoleon's death mask across Bass Strait in an historic homestead called The Briars, near Mount Martha, on the Mornington Peninsula. Until a burglary maybe in 2017, it had 60 of its 300 exhibits, like his furniture, crockery and a lock of hair, all on display.
That's why I was intrigued speaking recently to Newcastle newcomer Bob Gulliver about his interest in musical instruments, like the cello and guitar.
"Napoleon's piano, or at least his pipe organ, is in a Sydney church, you know. And his guitar from St Helena is also supposed to be in a Sydney museum. Strange isn't it," Gulliver said.
Far stranger is that Bob has a personal link to St Helena. While his family tale springs from after Napoleon's time, it still provides a fascinating insight into what a really small world we inhabit.
Gulliver also has a very rare historic memento of the island still mainly associated with Napoleon's memory. It's the restored log of his great, great grandfather Edward Gulliver, RN, who was the harbour master of the isolated British crown colony from 1844 to 1851. In flowing copper-plate handwriting, the log records the daily activities from 177 years ago on the humid tropical colonial outpost veined with cloud and fog.
"The contents are fairly mundane really, but I expect it would be of interest to naval historians to see who stopped off there in that time," Gulliver said.
"There's talk of slave ships and telling the British Admiralty that their stockpiled coal dump has again caught fire and has to be moved. Edward feared fires would constantly take place. He mentions the hot sun and the pile's proximity to the sea.
"Edward later retired to St Bees, on the north west coast of England. Here, in unused pages at the back of the log his daughter then did her homework. It's still there.
"She also pressed dried flowers in it, but these are obviously very fragile.
"The original bookbinding was in vellum, a soft sheepskin cover. It's in remarkable condition after being repaired. My cousin has transcribed all the writing and I must get a copy of this. Of interest now is that Edward's old harbour master's house is a hotel.
"I've contacted the Historical Society of St Helena and they are very interested in the book's contents and want a copy. Not so interested is Sydney's maritime museum."
St Helena's Island is about 1200 kilometres west of Africa. It is even more remotethan Ascension Island, 700 kilometres to the north. During WWII US bomber pilots were sternly warned: "Don't miss Ascension, or your wife gets the pension". St Helena is home to only about 4000 people (the 2016 census) but was once a key stopover for ships sailing to Europe from Asia.
Pre-1800, after Britain banned slavery, the island even became the temporary home of more than 26,000 Africans liberated by the Royal Navy from slave ships. Gulliver said that one log entry from May 1847 dealt with an auction where Edward bought 22 spars (masts) from impounded slave ships for 40 pounds. Of Napoleon's earlier stay there is no hint, except we now know he liked the island's coffee, but hated his enforced stay.
"You can actually fly to St Helena's now, but I believe it is still too dangerous with the cliffs and wind shear. I don't think I'd want to fly there," Gulliver said.
Returning now to Napoleon's interest in music. The rare pipe organ at St Peter's Anglican Church in Sydney's Watsons Bay is one of the oldest, if not the oldest, organ in Australia. Built in London in 1796, it was supposedly later lent to the French Emperor. But it's a tentative connection at best. It seems to have come to Sydney in either 1901 or 1915.
More interesting is "Napoleon's guitar". Upon landing at St Helena, Napoleon lived initially with the Balcombe family at their home called The Briars. It is believed he may have given young Betsy Balcombe his guitar when she later left the island. He had taught her how to play it and sing French songs. The family then came to Victoria, again naming their residence The Briars.
But now to the delicate matter of the existence of another organ, Napoleon's, eh, his pickle, or python, his manhood.
A doctor allegedly amputated it during his autopsy (to confirm he wasn't faking death). It was sold to various owners and is very small, once compared to "a piece of leather or shrivelled eel".
I've always suspected Napoleon could have suffered from "a small man syndrome". This might explain his overachieving, including the incredible folly of invading Russia in 1812.
After all, he was a short (5ft 6in or 1.67m), stout figure with a sharp nose who had a troubled love life. Regarding the disrespectful organ heist, Bonaparte's famous saying of "Not tonight, Josephine" takes on a whole new meaning.
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