Name: Naked dressing.
Age: You could say the trend goes back to Genesis …
The prog rockers at the peak of their pomp in the 1970s? Further back still, to the first book of the Bible – Adam and Eve, wandering round the garden, in the nuddy.
Until disobedience, shame, fig leaves, etc? Yes – although, recently, the trend has been the other way round.
No shame? No fig leaves? Barely any clothes at all, or that seems to be the idea behind “naked dresses” at least – concealing one’s flesh is boring, it’s all about revealing now.
Where? Who? Red carpets everywhere. And everyone. Paris Hilton in a shimmering sheer gown at a party in LA in February. Kim Kardashian has been rocking up next to naked for years. Then her ex, Kanye West’s wife Bianca Censori, took naked dressing to a whole new, (certainly chilly) level at the Grammys.
The photographs had to be pixellated, I remember. And presumably there will be more red-carpet flesh on show at the 78th Cannes film festival, which starts this week. Main non, actually. The organisers have put a ban on provocative displays.
No Cannes do? Or un oeuf is un oeuf, if that’s the way we’re going.
But I remember Bella Hadid wearing a see-through dress last year? Yes, Natasha Poly, Elle Fanning, Meredith Mickelson and many others have all recently been at Cannes in sheer outfits.
So why the sudden prudishness? “For decency reasons,” a festival document stated. “Nudity is prohibited on the red carpet, as well as any other area of the festival.”
And if you flout it and flaunt it? “The festival welcoming teams will be obligated to prohibit red carpet access to anyone not respecting these rules.”
They’ll be shown the Palme door, you might say. So what are you allowed to wear? Black tie, evening gowns, cocktail dresses, elegant sandals “with or without heels”.
Why the specific mention of heels? Probably because of the last dress code scandal to throw Cannes into controversy. In 2015 a group of women were reportedly barred from a red carpet screening for not wearing high heels.
Dress up, dress down, too much, too little … the organisers need to make their minds up! Or – radical idea – just let guests dress how they want and however they feel comfortable.
A pair of (red) carpet slippers? Perfect.
Do say: “Never mind what anyone is or isn’t wearing, I’m here for the new Spike Lee film.
Don’t say: “I am wearing a suit, it’s make of invisible fabric!”
