Nudes of the world
An extraordinary tale of courage and determination from Huddersfield this week, when 200 nudists stripped off their clothes and cavorted in the altogether, braving freezing winds and driving rain.
The nudists, from all over Britain, were attending the annual British Naturism jamboree, held this year at the Ashdene Naturist Club in Brighouse.
Although the elements forced some to keep their clothes on, many refused to be deterred by the appalling weather and spent two days naked as God intended, playing boules and mini-tennis in the garden, and attending various meetings and forums on nude issues. "I love being naked," said Bryan Jago, Ashdene's club secretary. "In France they have nudist banks and supermarkets. When your clothes are off there is no class status and people are much friendlier."
Pat Thompson, vice-president of British Naturism, agrees. "People assume that there are lots of naughty things going on, but that's just not the case."
Despite the Arctic conditions, the event was declared a resounding success. The only dissenters were a small number of non-nudist locals. "It's just not right," said one lady. "If God had meant us to be naked, why did he bring Laura Ashley into the world?"
Huddersfield Examiner
A bit of a blow
The freak storm, a phenomenon more normally associated with the American mid-west than the Welsh valleys, swept in from the sea, sucking up fishing nets and polythene sheeting and leaving more than 500 homes in Swansea and Gower witthout electricity.
"We were out for a family drive and saw it over the bay," said witness John Davies. "It was a tremendous sight: a huge loud funnel of rotating cloud."
The tornado was estimated to have been more than 400m tall and 200m wide and left a trail of havoc in its wake, although fortunately there were no injuries.
It eventually swung back out into the bay and was last seen heading up the Bristol Channel and out into the Irish Sea. We were working in the garden and it came straight at us," said another witness. "My wife screamed, 'Oh my God, we're going into the suck zone!' I thought, 'Promises, promises...'"
This is South Wales
Fuels rush in
The men succeeded in lugging a hundredweight sack of coal over a distance of 80 miles between them, raising more than £40,000 for a local hospital.
"It felt like winning a grand prix when we crossed the finishing line," said competitor Andy Shaw. "Someone was waiting with a bottle of champagne and everything. It was the proudest moment of my life."
The men began their Herculean feat at 6.15am, carrying their sack of coal 387 times round a quarter-mile circuit, finally finishing 11 hours, 23 minutes and 33 seconds later. The world record was witnessed and verified by the local mayor, and video evidence and official lap-sheets have now been sent to the Guinness Book of Records for authentification.
"It was really exciting," enthused one spectator. "Although not quite as exciting as turnip carrying. A grown man sprinting with a large sack of root vegetables on his back: now that really gets the pulse racing!"
Dewsbury Reporter
Pigeon fancier
The woman in question was 76-year old Eileen Rennie, and her "babies" are the pigeons she has fed three times a week for the last year outside Droylsden shopping centre. She has ignored repeated requests from her local council to stop doing so.
"I don't see what harm I'm doing," cooed Ms Rennie. "I feel so sorry for them. They all seem to recognise me whenever I come over with my shopping trolley, especially the little faun one."
But Tameside council has failed to bond with the birds in quite the same way. It insists that not only do the pigeons cause a mess, but they also carry infectious diseases. Council officials are now planning a cull in an effort to reduce their numbers.
"I can't believe that pigeons carry diseases," insisted Ms Rennie. "They're such beautiful creatures."
"Until a few months ago I would have disagreed," said one local man. "But then I went to Egypt and had one stuffed with couscous and spit-roasted, and she's right: it was absolutely gorgeous."
Manchester Evening News
Letter of the week
I have had eight motorcycles stolen - the latest being last week. I had bought the bike the day before.
Luckily on this occasion I managed to retrieve it, having spotted three miscreants riding it down Victoria Road without crash helmets. I gave chase on a reserve bike I use for emergencies, and a fellow motorcyclist joined me in the pursuit.
Eventually, after flying through the subway at the Riverside stadium, down Dockside Road and over the level crossing at the Navigation pub, I managed to pull level with them. They challenged me, and then decided to cut and run across a field.
During this chase no police were to be seen. It was a shame it wasn't along the Stockton Road where I picked up three penalty points for a minor speed infringement a couple of weeks ago.
Mr SW, Middlesbrough Evening Gazette
