Nadiya Hussain has revealed her primary school bullying ordeal left her with PTSD.
The Bake Off Winner had her first panic attack at 11 when school bullies flushed her head down the toilet - and has suffered from them ever since.
Nadiya, 34, has endured a lifetime of debilitating anxiety but has received help as part of BBC documentary Nadiya: Anxiety & Me.
On today's Loose Women, Nadiya watched a heartbreaking clip from tonight's show where she bravely opens up to a therapist.
"It's horrible to watch. I can't watch that," confessed Nadiya, who believed she was going to die when racist bullies attacked her.
Racist school bullies shoved Nadiya Hussain's head down toilet when she was 10
Nadiya discovered she had a panic disorder as an adult after having her third child.
She said: "To sit down and talk with somebody and to go back. All that stuff you just bury, you have to unravel all of that. That's quite scary.
"When you’re a parent and have kids to look after, you don’t allow yourself to become vulnerable and think about what made you sick in the first place.
"It was difficult. I had to say things out loud I've never ever had to say."
Her triggers can be as simple as a bathroom door opening, and Nadiya still gets flashbacks when she goes to the toilet.
She said: "Every time I go to the toilet, and I’m 34-years-old, I cannot take that image out of my head. That image is always in my head. I’ve tried for years to get rid of it but I can’t.
"That was when I first had a panic attack - when my head was flushed down the toilet."
Nadiya was shocked to discover that she has been suffering from post-traumatic-stress disorder.
The baking star said: "That was the biggest surprise for me. To hear it's PTSD. That was a massive shock. You think of people who went out to war and fought for their country.
"I had my head flushed down the toilet. But when you're 11 that's enough to make you sick. I became used to saying 'I'm fine it's just anxiety'."
Nadiya has now spoken to her kids about being bullied and will watch her documentary with her eldest child.
*Loose Women airs weekdays on ITV at 12.30pm
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