Love is… the list could go on forever. When my husband Mark loads the dishwasher, when he feeds the dogs, when he nibbles my ear, when he gives me a cuddle with no desire for sex.
We met when I was asked to present a show in Bristol called Perfect Partner , where someone looking for love asks their friends and family to find them someone. Mark, who is a brilliant filmmaker, was the director.
When I saw him, I thought, “He’s a bit gorgeous”. But he was very posh too.
In my brain I computed he obviously goes out with girls with swingy, shiny ponytails who live in the country. So I dismissed him.
There were 25 episodes and everyone had their lists of what they were looking for, but it’s all about chemistry.
So after the date, they’d say, “Well, he was very nice, but I didn’t like him… but oh my God that director is so cute!”
And I’d tell them Mark had a girlfriend because I really liked him.
The fifth time I filmed with him we got together and that was that! Not one person on that show found their perfect match except me!
Mark is such a romantic that I know on Valentines Day he will have arranged something thoughtful as a present.
One year he bought me a mini fridge full of all the things I’d wished for… like a little bottle of Champagne, cooling eye mask, nail varnish, spray tan. It even had tampons. I mean, how cool is that?
One February, I was down and menopausal and saying things like, “What is the point of me?” And because he’s a filmmaker, he made this beautiful filmed poem to music.
It’s 20 minutes long, and full of photos of all the precious moments in my life with the kids. It always makes me cry.
I remember when he was making that, it was the only time I ever thought, “Is he having an affair?” because he kept disappearing for hours in his room.
Another Valentine’s Day he gave me a painting with the words of Shelley, which had taken him weeks. It hangs in my kitchen.
Mark and I joke about how I’m unromantic. But actually I’m not – I’m just romantic in a very different way. I nag him half to death about his health, and make the exact thing he likes to eat.
Romance, for me, is vital in a relationship that is going to last, because it’s thinking about what the other person might like, then getting pleasure from giving it to them. Even if it’s a clean kitchen floor. It’s about caring.
On Valentine’s Day we usually go away on our own to a hotel. Our children are home educated, so we’re always together as a family.
And we’ll enjoy a great meal and go to the theatre. Talking about him has made me appreciate him even more!
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