Dear Coleen, I recently found out that my wife had a three-year affair with a guy she used to work with.
The reason it came to light was because she was giving me a really hard time for helping out a female friend who recently lost her husband.
My wife was acting like a jealous teenager and full of rage – she even kicked me out for a week – so my sister lost her temper and ended up telling me about this past affair.
My sister has never liked her much and now I know why!
The long and short of it is that my wife wants another chance at the marriage.
What would you advise this reader? Have your say in the comment section
She says she regrets the affair, but that we were going through a rocky patch after the birth of our second child.
However, she refuses to say any more about it, which isn’t enough for me. Can we get over this?
Coleen says
I think if your wife wants you to move on from this affair she should do whatever it takes to make the marriage work.
If you have questions, then she needs to answer them with complete honesty.
If you can’t work through it together, then counselling could be the way forward.
I think your wife’s anger over you helping a female friend could be down to her feelings over the affair – she feels guilty but is also paranoid about you cheating because she’s done it herself.
I think you can move on from an affair – I know couples who have – but it’s not easy and it does change the relationship for ever.
You have to do a lot of work to rebuild trust, and that doesn’t happen overnight. The first step would be for her to open up to you.
