Dear Coleen
My sister lost her husband in February this year after a long illness.
She’s in her 60s and has always been a vibrant character and full of life, so it was horrible to see her go through this with her husband.
However, it hasn’t taken her long to embrace life again in that she’s been seeing a man of a similar age who lives locally.
They met at Easter and have been seeing a lot of each other.
I told her I thought it was too fast after the death of her husband and she didn’t react well, saying she was disappointed that I begrudged her some happiness.
I don’t, but I’m just worried she hasn’t given herself enough time to grieve and that it could go wrong.
Am I wrong to think this? I know some of my family and her friends are concerned, too.
The chap she’s seeing seems nice enough (he’s been divorced a few years), but none of us really know him.
I’d love your opinion.
What advice would you give to this reader? Have your say in the comment section
Coleen says
I think you have to let people deal with loss however they can and if this is bringing her happiness and helping her to feel that life can go on, I’m all for it.
Maybe she’ll realise down the line that it was too soon and you can be there for her.
But after losing family members myself, I feel it’s important not to judge in these situations.
My sister Bernie’s hubby met someone pretty soon after she died and a few people questioned it, but he’s still with this woman and they’re really happy.
On the other hand, my sister Linda took 10 years to even consider the possibility of another partner after her husband passed away, so it’s different for everyone.
Your sister has probably grieved for her husband for a long time because she was caring for him when he was ill.
Along with the grief, there will be some relief that he’s out of pain and also that she can live again.
Maybe make more of an effort to get to know this man better.
Yes, he might merely be a bridge to help her get over her grief, but there’s nothing wrong with that if they’re both enjoying each other’s company.
