A mum has told of how she was beaten up by her vile boyfriend who made her believe she was 'soft' and 'bruised easily'.
Amy (not her real name), from Wigan, first thought they were play fighting, but was left with 'massive bruises' and would drop to the floor after he would give her a 'dead leg'.
She felt trapped in the abusive relationship for years as she didn't want her child to have separated parents.
But after finding the strength to leave her partner earlier this year, she is now sharing her story in the hope of encouraging others to report incidents as she warns that 'abuse thrives in silence.'
And she argues there's a 'secret school of abusers' as the signs were the same with other survivors she has spoken to.
Amy said: "I kept thinking the guy who I fell in love with was going to come back, I just had to work harder. I was wrong.
"We'd play fight and I'd have massive big bruises or he'd just give me a dead leg for no reason.
"And by dead leg I mean I used to drop to the floor.
"I believed that I bruised easily."
When Amy tried to start a new relationship, she realised it wasn't play fighting with her ex, as her new partner "wouldn't leave a mark".
"The penny dropped," she said.
"It wasn't play fighting, I don't bruise easily, he was just punching me."
She previously chose to stay with her ex after telling herself that if she did leave, she would be the one breaking the family apart.
"I stayed because you've got a kid in the middle of it and you think you're doing the right thing," she said.
"Even when it came to reporting the abuse, I felt like the one taking his dad away when I wasn't in control of what he did.
"I think he knew I loved him that much that I would keep quiet."
Once Amy had started to speak out about what happened, she came across so many others with similar experiences.
"It's like they all go to a secret school of abusers," she said.
"The memos are all the same.
"And they never change, they just change the victim."
Domestic abuse can be a lot more than what meets the eye, and can involve threatening behaviour, violence or physical abuse, as well as psychological, emotional, or financial abuse, which can sometimes be harder to recognise and can often go underreported.
Amy wants those suffering at the hands of abusers to speak out - whether through a charity, support service, or the police.
She added: "Definitely speak out sooner because abuse thrives in silence and your abuser is banking on you not saying anything.
"They can go on and live their lives whilst you're left with all the damage to pick up.
"Speaking to the police, it is scary. You don't expect yourself to be in that position. No one deserves to be sat in front of a stranger that you've never met before telling them the worst parts of your life.
"But there's the police app where you can, if you don't want to phone up, you can do it literally on your phone in the comfort of your own home and they'll get in touch with you."
While reports of domestic abuse are at 'expected levels' across Greater Manchester, Greater Manchester Police says, in recent years, Wigan has shown to have the highest number of reports of domestic abuse incidents across the region.
Detective Inspector Nathan Percival, Vulnerability Lead for GMP’s Wigan District, said: “It is a relief to know that victims are reporting incidents of domestic abuse in Wigan, so that we can identify perpetrators, and work with our partners to provide help and support.
“However, we are aware that incidents of domestic abuse are still very concealed and are happening in all areas of our community, and I would like to reassure you that support is available, whether this is through the police or other support services across Greater Manchester.
"GMP is committed to help reduce domestic abuse in our communities, and protecting some of the most vulnerable members of society, but in order to do that, we need to know when these incidents are occurring.
“If you're a victim of domestic abuse, or are concerned about someone you know, you can make a report to the police, via the LiveChat or online reporting at www.gmp.police.uk, by dialling 101 or always calling 999 in an emergency.
“If you would like help making a report, or are not ready to speak to the police, please be reassured help and support is available, no matter when incidents may have occurred.”
GMP works in partnership with Wigan Council to provide support to victims of domestic abuse.
Sarah Owen, Service Manager for Domestic and Sexual Violence at Wigan Council, said: “We all need to be more aware of domestic abuse. Communities need to come together to ensure no victim goes unnoticed and to stand against all forms of abuse and violence.
“We have heavily invested in the Wigan Borough Domestic Abuse Service (DIAS) which offers a 12-hour a day domestic abuse helpline for anyone with concerns or in need of help and advice.”
Amy said she wouldn't be here today if she had not had the help of Wigan Council's domestic abuse service, adding: "If it wasn't for just one charity then the chances of me either being like not being able to get through this and just giving up and ending my life.
"That would've been definitely a possibility. Or the fact I'd have gone back to my ex where he would've finished the job."
A Wigan Council campaign highlighting the warning signs of domestic abuse has also been developed alongside victims.
Love Is Not Abuse, which will also guide residents to vital support services, focuses on the emotional and mental aspects of domestic abuse as well as the physical.
Informed by brave male and female victims, the campaign’s posters, animations, and videos use real-life examples to show how different forms of abuse can be identified.
Contact Greater Manchester Police using their LiveChat or online reporting facility on: www.gmp.police.uk, or dial 101. In an emergency that's ongoing or life is in danger, always dial 999.
Greater Manchester Victims’ Services can provide independent emotional and practical support for anyone affected by crime, whether you are ready to make a report to the police or not. You can contact the service by visiting the website on www.gmvictims.org.uk or calling 0161 200 1950.
