A heartbroken mum has revealed how her "lovely, funny, and caring" son took his own life after cocaine use altered his personality.
Tom Smerdon, described as a popular and charismatic young man, was just 22 when he was found dead in March 2019.
Now his mum, Nicola Smerdon, is raising awareness of the devastating effects cocaine can have on the user and their families.
"From the very beginning he was a just a bundle of fun. I know most people probably say that about their children but he really was," recalled Nicola, from Treharris.
"He had loads of friends in school, he was very popular, and the teachers loved him. The conversations would always be about how friendly he was, how loving he was to his friends. He was just a lovely, funny, caring, amazing young lad."
Mum-of-three Nicola said she first discovered Tom was using cocaine when he was 18 years old. "[Cocaine use] is completely alien to us as a family. We have never had any understanding of the use of cocaine or recreational drugs," she said.
"It just wasn't something we'd ever been involved in or knew anything about."
Nicola said that Tom had everything going for him including a girlfriend and a steady job. But she knew that at weekends his partying and drug use would get the better of him.
She added: "You would have the weekends where Tom would go out probably Friday and Saturday without much sleep and it didn't take a lot of guessing, for me, as to what was going on."
Despite living under the same roof Nicola said she didn't spot any real signs he would take his own life.
"He wasn't sad, he wasn't down. I had no other concerns other than when he would use cocaine," she said.
But in May 2017, when Tom was 20, he arrived home on a bank holiday Monday and attempted to take his own life.
Very soon after the ordeal Tom sought professional help as it "frightened him so much", Nicola added.
"He didn't want to end his own life. He didn't really know what had happened," she said.
For 18 months Nicola said she had the old Tom back in her life.
"The mood swings had gone, he wasn't going out partying, and he wasn't socialising with the friendship group that he had been," she said.
"It was really tough on him but he managed it. He started playing rugby a little bit again again and going to the gym. I was just positive, positive, positive."
But 18 months later, in December 2018, Nicola said she knew her youngest son's cocaine use had returned.
"It was his friend's birthday and they were going out – I was terrified," she admitted.
"He was 22 at this time – what could I do? I couldn't stop him going.
"When he stayed out all night I knew he was backing using it again and within about 10 weeks of that we lost him."
Nicola said Tom was "investing in his future" and was booking holidays just days before his passing. "I think for this to happen to someone like Tom has shocked everybody," she said.
"If this could happen to Tom it could happen to anyone."
Even before Tom's funeral his family made the decision to set up a foundation in his memory. #4TOM Foundation aims to prevent others from going through the same heartache.
"We have been very busy fundraising which has kept a focus for us all over the last year," she said.
"We are working with Public Health Wales, and other organisations such as the Jacob Abraham Foundation, to hopefully start a public awareness campaign highlighting the risks of mixing cocaine with alcohol, the comedown from cocaine and the feelings that people have then, and hopefully how to deal with them so that you don't feel that the only you have is to take your life."
Through Cwm Taf University Health Board the family were made aware of 2 Wish Upon a Star, a charity which supports people reeling in the immediate aftermath of losing a child or young person.
Becky Jones, from 2 Wish, based in Llantrisant, said she visited the family quite frequently at their home in the weeks following the tragedy.
She said: "It can be really, really difficult for families to initially even begin to process what has happened.
"There's a lot of guilt attached to that particular death in the sense that families feel they should perhaps have spotted signs or known that their children were low in mood. But we know that isn't always the case."
Nicola concluded by saying she has simply managed to survive over the past 12 months.
"I can't just sit back and not try and get this message out. I guess the thing that keeps me going every day is Tom."
Arts and media social enterprise Sixty Six/Ninety Nine, which created a video of Nicola's story, is increasing awareness of suicide and self-harm through a series of short films.
