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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

My sister never visits our mum. Should I say something?

Elderly woman looking into the distance at another younger woman

My mother recently turned 85. She lives on her own, she is not perfect, is not so mobile, but is independent, intelligent, supportive and tries to be fair to all her four children. Three of us live far away. My sister, however, lives 15 minutes away but rarely visits or phones, preferring Mum to go to her. Their relationship has had difficulties, but there is no major rift and Mum has been generous to her. My mum didn’t want a fuss made for her birthday, but I went up to see her and we booked a nice lunch. My sister had another event on locally. She didn’t visit on the day, didn’t telephone, hadn’t sent a card or present. Mum was upset, but won’t say anything – she would hate my sister to do anything out of duty – but she would love it if my sister visited more often. I don’t think my sister knows she is hurting Mum. Should I say something?

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