What does my hobby say about me?
“It says I think the Queen is wonderful. I’m proud the royal family are part of our tradition; I won’t have anything said against them. It runs in my family: my nan cooked for the Queen Mother – who tapped me on the head once, and my mum didn’t wash my hair for ages.”
And what it really says
I am completely fascinated by Liz’s collection of china royalty, her miniature porcelain Ma’am Tussauds. Look! There’s the young Queen, in her wedding gown, and Diana looking swishy, and William and Kate and baby George just out of the hospital… I’m a little lost after that, as I’m not a royalist, and those shiny faces are hard to categorise. They’re just posh dollies, aren’t they? As realistic as my daughter’s Disney princesses, and pleasingly un-plastic.
Liz’s collection shows the royal family at its most camply feminine. Her mugs and figurines capture the Windsors at ceremonial times: weddings, coronations, births. The royal family does not permit the official porcelain commemoration of the Queen’s tweedy walking of the corgis, her mud-stomping in wellies and headscarf. I’m sure Liz loves the Queen whatever she’s doing, but collecting royal memorabilia means collecting the high points, the glitter, the baubles, the sashes, the medals. Among all this, Prince William looks silly in his chinos and shirt. The Queen – as evidenced by her telling off her grandson for playing with George instead of standing up so her subjects can see him – would surely prefer him in full armour, preferably on a snorting charger.
Which is why it’s nice that Liz has her life-size Queen cut-out, too. This makes HRH seem real – scarily real, if you only glance at the picture and see her looming over her subject like a well-millinered mugger.
Liz clearly derives a lot of strength from her monarch. She is proud and loyal, she takes heart from the Queen’s very existence. I wish I could say the same, but I’m a revolting republican. I still like this collection, though. I’d have it on my shelves, just for the joy.
If you would like Miranda to cast an eye over your favourite possession, email a photograph to magazine@observer.co.uk
