I was pulling out of our driveway one holiday, about to embark on an epic multi-hour trip, when I realised something was off. It wasn’t a major problem – no punctured tyre or busted door handle – simply that my maps app wouldn’t connect to my phone’s music player any more. An “update” during the night had stolen the function away, robbing me of the ability to change my music and track where I was on the map at the same time.
It’s things like this that make automatic updates the mundane bane of my existence. The promise of forced software patches is that they improve the software and apps we use every day – make them more convenient, maintain our security and so on. But what actually happens most of the time is that updates change perfectly fine tech – now it sucks.
Was I finally used to how my inbox works, secure in the knowledge that buttons weren’t going to move randomly around? Too bad – it’s entirely different now! How about that handy feature I used all the time, like YouTube’s community-contributed subtitles or my running app’s ability to check my historical statistics? Sorry, it’s been completely deleted or placed behind a paywall. The practice invokes paranoia, too: I’ve found myself deep in Reddit threads full of people convinced the latest operating system update halved their phone’s battery life. Did it? Who can say?
It’s one reason I eye “smart” appliances with wifi access with deep suspicion; I’m not scared of Hollywood hackers or a sentient robot uprising, but I dread the broken updates, vanished features or forced additions I don’t want. I fear some anonymous developer on the other side of the planet can push a button and overnight make the apps and software I use worse. It’s bad enough half the programs on my PC are riddled with the latest GenAI tech-fad rubbish; wait until the fridge makers decide I need it too.
Would we tolerate anything else that got worse over time, not as a result of normal wear and tear but because the manufacturer suddenly decided it should? A hammer that had the nail-puller mysteriously removed unless you paid for some stupid new subscription? A faucet whose creator decided actually they don’t want hot water and so neither should you? Absolutely not.
I’ve learned to live without my maps and audio controller connectivity. But it still rankles – a constant reminder that maybe living a more disconnected life, far from the tendrils of the faceless corporations’ incessant updates, wouldn’t be all that bad.
