Every month, Eleanor Ibi's world turns upside down.
In the two weeks leading up to her period, she finds herself drowning in feelings of utter hopelessness and despair — completely out of the blue.
The emotional turmoil can be so debilitating it has even led to suicidal thoughts.
After weeks of misery, the fog inside her mind lifts. The dark thoughts are gone. Suddenly, she feels like herself again.
Like clockwork, Eleanor endures this exhausting pattern every month.
It leaves nothing but a trail of destruction in its wake, forcing her to spend days picking up the pieces before it repeats itself all over again.
For almost thirty years, this traumatising battle left the mum-of-three baffled until she finally connected the dots.
Eleanor suffers from premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
PMDD is a very severe form of premenstrual syndrome, also known as PMS or period mood swings.
The condition causes a range of emotional and physical symptoms every month during the two weeks before a menstrual cycle.
Those with the disorder can experience depression, despair, irritability, anxiety, hopelessness, bouts of extreme sadness, fatigue, anger, difficulty concentrating and suicidal ideation.
For some, the feelings are life-changing and completely overwhelming.
“All my life, I thought I had lots of different mental illnesses,” Eleanor, who lives in Openshaw, said.
“I had manic depression, you name it.
“I didn’t realise what the problem was for a long time.
“It would start the two weeks before I was due my period and would increasingly get worse and worse.
“It was feelings of paranoia, anxiety, hopelessness, full on depression mixed with anxiety.
“I used to have manic phases which is why people thought I was bipolar. I would have incredible highs and crashing lows.
“It was unpredictable and predictable. It’s a rollercoaster every month.
“Then I’d get my period and literally the day after I would calm down and spend the next few days apologising and patching up relationships and work.”
By 2007, Eleanor’s symptoms had become unmanageable.
She visited her GP with concerns over her mental health – but was told “all women have to deal with PMS”.
Eleanor, who works as a governance and admin manager at Manchester Metropolitan University's Student's Union, was eventually prescribed Fluoxetine after begging her doctor for help.
The antidepressant helped relieve her symptoms for 10 years until it eventually stopped working.
In 2017, the mum-of-three decided to do some research herself.
After discovering PMDD online, she suddenly had a “light bulb moment”.
“I felt so silly that I had not made this connection before,” Eleanor continued.
“It was a real light bulb moment and I got a bit emotional about it because it finally made sense.
“I tracked my symptoms over three months, and saw that there was a direct correlation between my monthly cycle and my mental health.”
Eleanor managed to get referred to a specialist at Rochdale Infirmary and finally received a diagnosis.
She described the visit as a “real breakthrough”.
“He completely understood what I had been going through,” Eleanor added.
“I was menopausal when I finally found out what was happening.”
Eleanor continues to take antidepressants to help ease PMDD symptoms, as well as exercising regularly and taking vitamins.
But the symptoms still prove a monthly struggle.
She continued: “You can tell yourself it’s fine, but when you’re in the midst of it, it’s completely debilitating.
“When I realised what it was that I had, I got really emotional that it wasn’t just me being a temporary lunatic for two weeks out of the month.
“I’ve been like Jekyll and Hyde for as long as I can remember.
“When you’re in the good phase of your cycle, everything is brilliant. You can do life.
“Then it all comes crashing down.”
For more information, help or advice on PMDD, please visit the link by clicking here.
