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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

My partner is much older than me. Is our relationship unsustainable?

Private lives illustration

I am 25 and my partner is 56. We are in a gay relationship and have been for two years. We have kept it secret, however, due to the age difference and the perceived social stigma attached. I am completely solvent – indeed, I pay over my share – so this is definitely not a sugar daddy arrangement. I also had a happy childhood and have no “daddy issues”. I have always been interested in older men, but never thought it could work because of the age gap.

It started casually but we both soon realised that we were very good together and have had a very happy two years. But is a relationship like this unsustainable and am I going to hurt my partner more by continuing it? Or is there a possibility of somehow making it work and everyone around us accepting it?

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see http://gu.com/letters-terms.

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