A mum who says her parents won't help out with childcare for longer than a day at a time has said she thinks it's 'morally poor'.
An anonymous mum, posting on MumsNet, asked if it was unreasonable to have this opinion, adding that her parents are both retired and healthy. She explained that her parents look after their grandchildren occasionally, but that it's always on 'their terms'.
She said she doesn't have any big struggles with child-care, aside from the monumental costs. People in the comments were divided over her opinion, with agreeing and others disagreeing.
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In the post, she said: "AIBU (Am I Being Unreasonable) to think it’s morally poor not to provide any childcare whatsoever as a grandparent, if you are retired and in good health? I have young children and no childcare issues aside from the horrendous cost.
“My parents, like many others I know, enjoy being with them but it’s pretty much always on their terms. They would take them for a day but wouldn’t be consistent or reliable so couldn’t make it a regular thing.
“I’m not sure how I feel about this and on balance I think it’s pretty morally dire. Luckily I can afford childcare and nursery but I perhaps would feel more strongly if I couldn’t.
"However, whilst it’s easy for me to say this now, I do think I would step up and do some childcare for my children if they had children. I can’t imagine just letting the days roll by leisurely and not setting aside even one day a week to be a reliable help.
"I know in other cultures this is standard and families pull together much more. Am I being unreasonable to think there is actually a moral obligation here, to make some form of childcare contribution, however small?"
Commenters disagreed, and said her parents’ days of looking after children "are over". One said: “You decided to have children, so it’s your responsibility. They’ve done their child-rearing. In future I’ll offer my children out in emergencies with childcare but won’t be offering it regularly. I just don’t want to do it and don’t feel bad about it.”
But some were able to relate to the woman, and felt their parents weren’t doing enough to help out with childcare. One said: “My MIL tried to get us to move countries and buy a house on her street so she could help, but would only be willing to do half-a-day a week!”
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