The family of a selfless young man who took his own life have urged people to speak to loved ones of they need support.
Thomas Geeling, 30, was last seen just before 5pm on Sunday, December 6, driving his dad’s white Volvo near his Royton home.
An inquest into the builder’s death at Bolton Coroner’s Court this afternoon heard that Tom had text his dad just an hour before he disappeared to say he’d be eating takeaway with them that night.
The family grew increasingly concerned as they were unable to get hold of him, reporting him missing that evening.
His body was tragically found on farmland in Lostock a week later.
Dad James Geeling told the court that he’d helped police track down his son.
He said: “We think he threw his phone out of the window as he was driving through Manchester.
“We just kept calling it and after someone picked up we thought it must have been Tom but it was someone who’d found it.
“Later I found there was a secondary tracker on the car and I found the location of the car.
“We thought it had been stolen but told the police and then they started searching nearby.”
Tragically, officers found Tom’s body around a mile away from the car a week after he was reported missing, on December 14.
Tom had been struggling with poor mental health for a while, with his family trying to support him through the difficult situation.
In 2015, things got even tougher for Tom, when a criminal allegation was made against him, leading to threats.
No legal action was taken in regards to the allegation, but Tom did feel forced to move away because of the threats.
He also started “self-medicating” with drugs in 2015, using cocaine and cannabis as a “coping strategy”.
In 2017, Tom was diagnosed with depression, but the then-27-year-old told his family he didn’t want help from mental health professionals.
Mr Geeling said: “He wouldn’t engage with any mental health professionals.
“He felt that would stigmatise him and that was something in the future that would prevent him from moving on so we weren’t able to get help.
“He did do some cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) not long before he died and that seemed to help.
“That was very close to the time of his death and it appeared he was in quite good spirits, but obviously that was not the case.”
Tom’s mental state appeared to improve in the few weeks before his death, after losing a “slightly estranged” uncle and struggling with the isolation of lockdown.
His dad told the court that he didn’t think lockdown helped his son’s mental state, as he was unable to have any distractions other than work.
In the week before his death, Tom grew increasingly paranoid, believing he was being watched and becoming upset with some family members.
Mr Geeling added: “He thought he was being watched - you anticipate that’s a consequence of smoking cannabis and I said it was completely ludicrous.
“He also found some notes I’d made after a family friend had asked for some advice and thought they were referring to him.
“I got quite agitated with him which was extremely rare, but I was angry he was making those conclusions.
“I had no idea how much he was really struggling.”
Tom came up to his dad shortly after the argument, apologising for his behaviour.
That Sunday, December 6, the Geelings were getting ready to see their other son Matt travel to Belfast, whilst also preparing for an upcoming move.
Tom was asked to head to the new house with his dad to pick out a room, but asked to go the next week instead.
Later that day, he came into the family room and apologised for “being unpleasant” before hugging his parents and brother.
He was in good spirits, and left the room, before later leaving the house.
An emotional Mr Geeling told the court: “In hindsight, we think he was saying goodbye.”
Assistant coroner for Manchester West, Stephen Teesdale, recorded a conclusion of suicide.
He said: “I believe Tom could not see any improvement in his future.
“I believe he felt he was relieving everyone around him of worrying about him.
“He did not wish to be a burden to the family and therefore alleviated, as he saw it, the burden to the family.
“He was a young man who would have had a future, a bright future at that, but he didn’t see it that way.”
Speaking after the hearing, Mr Geeling urged people to reach out for help if they needed it.
He also asked people to consider supporting charities working together to prevent suicide - the biggest killer of men under 45.
So far the family have raised over £5,000 for Papyrus in memory of Tom, helping the charity to prevent other deaths.
Speaking to the Manchester Evening News he said: “My only regret is that we didn’t know and recognise how serious it was.
“The discussion about people talking to each other is incredibly relevant, particularly to young men who don’t speak about their troubles.
“I would encourage anybody to support Papyrus, I just wanted to almost anonymously do it to help, it’s a smaller charity that’s not as well known.
“£10 helps somebody on the end of the phone so with the money we’ve raised, if that’s something that helps even one person it's worth it."
Visit the Papyrus website for more details about the charity's work.
