Christmas is supposed to be the season to be jolly, but if you have troublesome in-laws it might not feel that way.
Try as you might, there is sometimes just no way of pleasing and appeasing people, other than giving in and doing exactly what they like - even if it is at your own expense.
This is the experience of an overstretched woman, whose mother-in-law is using every guilt trip trick in the book to get her way this Christmas.
Her daughter-in-law has enough of her sneaky manipulative ways and wants to put a stop to her manoeuvring - but she's riddled with guilt about uninviting her at Christmas.
Taking to Reddit, she explains: "We have two young kids and these are the only kids on my husband's side. He has two separated parents, grandparents and a brother. His dad has another family so we don't see him Christmas day."
"I have my mum, and my sister (who has a young family herself). In my mind we should alternate Christmases and host my mum one year and the husband's family the next."
"But this just isn't possible or at least leaves me feeling so guilty."
The problem is her demanding mother-in-law, who refuses to see her parents at Christmas unless the whole family are all together. This creates enormous pressure on an already stretched woman.
"If we don't host that whole side of the family, MIL is alone and the grandparents are alone on Christmas day. The brother refuses to host and is going away with his wife.
"Last year we hosted the MIL, grandparents and an aunt on my husband's side, all Christmas day. I had to do all of the cooking, most of the washing up and spent the day hosting instead of with my two little kids."
"The logical part of my brain says this year we host my mum, who is amazing and will help with everything.
"But the human side of my brain says this will leave the MIL all by herself for Christmas day (though this is her doing), and the grandparents, who probably won't be around for many more years, on their own."
She appealed to Reddit for help, asking, "What's the solution?" and one wrote: "I think your too sweet for your own good. Your MIL is acting like a toddler and you're feeling bad about setting boundaries. If she chooses to be alone when she doesn't get exactly what she wants - well, you can be sad for her. But refusing to see her own parents at all because someone else won't do all the work for her is pretty insane."
Don't fall into the guilt trap, said others: "She doesn’t get to guilt and control everyone’s Christmas. If she doesn’t want to see the whole family because one set isn't there then she will just be alone. Don’t let her ruin literally multiple families holidays every year."
