Dear Coleen
Since the start of lockdown my fiancé has been living with his parents to help them out. His dad is in poor health and his mum said she needed the support, so he moved out of our house into theirs.
It's been OK but, naturally, we've really missed each other.
My problem is, his mother is really overbearing and interfering, and seems to be using this time with my fiancé to plan our upcoming wedding!
Whenever I talk to him she's come up with another great idea for the venue or the entertainment or the flowers - it's driving me nuts.
I feel totally out of control of my own wedding day.
I don't want to fall out with her while we're in lockdown - things are hard enough - but how can I get her to butt out?
Coleen says
I can almost feel how frustrated you are, but I think it probably has a lot to do with the fact you're separated from your fiancé and, naturally, you're feeling left out of all the wedding talk.
But, let's face it, lockdown is boring and maybe talking about your wedding is giving your fiancé and his mum something to bond over and also something to look forward to and get excited about.
You could suggest a video call with all of you together to talk about the wedding - that way you'll get your ideas across and you can veto the ones that don't sit well with you.
At the end of the day, it's your wedding and you don't have to take on any of your mother-inlaw's suggestions. Also, phrases like "thanks for the idea, I'll think about it" are polite, show you're listening, but that it's not a done deal!
