Dear Coleen, I’m a single woman and have been having an on-off affair with a workmate who’s engaged to be married.
I know what I’m doing is stupid and pointless, but I suppose deep down I thought he’d leave her for me.
It hasn’t been easy to see each other because of the lockdowns and now his fiancee is putting a lot of pressure on him to talk about wedding arrangements and set a date, which is making it harder for us.
I don’t know what to do – I’m in love with him now, but he seems to be slipping away.
Coleen says
It’s not the lockdowns or his fiancee that’s making things harder for you – it’s you and the situation you’ve put yourself in.
Sleeping with a guy who’s engaged is the problem and unless you accept that and move on, you’re going to be miserable.
What kind of guy cheats on his fiancee and why would you want to commit to him?
If he can treat her with so little respect, he can do the same to you.
And, in fact, he already is – he’s keeping you hanging on, but promising you nothing while having his cake and eating it.
My advice is to see this situation for what it is, be kind to yourself and get out of it.
And make sure the next guy you date is single.
