My partner and I got together in our mid-40s. We married after seven years and were enjoying frequent, passionate sex, until at 67 I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. My partner was more worried about the threat to my life, whereas my main concern, after the initial shock, was for our sex life, which until then had been idyllically constant.
The full prostatectomy was successful, with no spread of cancer, but although we were sharing intimate, non-penetrative sexual activity from about six weeks after the surgery, the prognosis for a return to full male potency post-op is not good, particularly at my age.
Two months after the operation, the post-prostatectomy NHS team introduced me to the vacuum erection device (VED) – a vacuum pump and a tight rubber ring that fits around the base of the penis. Using this alongside the drug Cialis, I am able to create and maintain an erection. It wasn’t easy at first, but we laughed off issues with timing. After a couple of months’ practice, aided by the patience of my partner, we became quite skilled, and a year later we are able to have pretty satisfying and intense sex every five to seven days.
OK, VED-assisted sex requires setting a specific time for intercourse, so spontaneous sessions are out. And the male orgasm is not as intense sans prostate. It’s been over a year since surgery, and we still hold out a little hope that unassisted sex may be possible again. But this has become gradually less important to us. After all, at 68, we are probably having as much sex or more than most people our age.
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