There have always been men who have sex with other men, but don’t consider themselves gay or even bisexual. I should know; I’ve been sleeping with them since my schooldays. I prefer sex with straight men because they don’t want romance; with gay men there’s always the possibility that they could get the wrong end of the stick and want something more. I’m in an open marriage with another man, so I’m not interested in falling in love.
The advent of the internet has made these discreet, anonymous encounters with curious men incredibly easy. There is little, or nothing, in the way of guilt. As one man told me: “Sex with another man is not being unfaithful to my wife – it’s just fulfilling my needs and desires.” I’ve even encountered straight men who have “male-on-male playdates” with their wives’ blessing. I was initially sceptical, but this arrangement seems to work for everyone: the wife knows she has no competition from another woman; the husband knows he does not want a life with another man. It’s the definition of “no strings attached”.
Other straight men are keen to try a threesome with a gay couple, as my husband and I have discovered using hook-up apps. Personally, I prefer one-on-one encounters, but watching my husband spend a couple of hours with another man can be huge fun. There have been bad experiences. One very tall police officer got a bit carried away, swore undying love and wanted to leave his marriage. I learned the hard way not to let things get out of hand. Now I make it clear that I’m only interested in a couple of hours of fun, before sending them back to their wives and girlfriends.
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