Whenever I hear about a couple over a certain age enjoying an active sex life, I marvel about one aspect that is never talked about. The menopause is now a “woke” topic. Celebrities are making a cause of it. Men in offices are advised to say “menopause” three times a day to develop empathy for female co-workers. Hot flushes and night sweats are discussed in newspapers. But the worst symptom is never mentioned: there’s a post-menopausal elephant in the bedroom and its name is Dry Vagina.
Dear younger women, do not underestimate this. I breezed through all other aspects of the menopause. Hot flushes? Wear layers. Night sweats? Drink water. But a desiccating vagina? A person can apply only so much lubrication. Even then, penetration is excruciating, second only to the stinging afterwards when you need to urinate and have to steel yourself not to cry out loud. So, what are all those other post-menopausal, sexually active women doing? Have they miraculously escaped?
I like sex. My husband likes sex. I don’t want to give it up. But I now dread the final moments. I didn’t want to tell my husband, and make him feel anxious and guilty. It’s not his fault. Finally, I developed a vaginal infection, which revealed the problem. The relief of sharing my secret was enormous. After a week of antibiotics, I was prescribed oestrogen, applied vaginally. So far, it seems to have helped. The health risks are “infinitesimal”, according to my GP – and, for the benefit of a happy sex life, I think it’s a price worth paying. Wish us luck!
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