Since last June my physical sex life has consisted of a thrice-weekly session with my vaginal dilator. My dilator is a pink, plastic hollow tube with one rounded, closed end. Using a good amount of lubricant, I insert the dilator and move it in a circular motion for five minutes. This should help prevent my vagina narrowing.
Narrowing is just one of the side-effects of my radiotherapy treatment, following a diagnosis of advanced Stage IIA cervical cancer. The length of my vagina was also reduced to three inches, during a radical hysterectomy.
I find dilation a chore; there is little if any pleasure. But it needs to be done, if for no other reason than to enable internal examinations. At 61, for the first time in my life, I have started using a vibrator – it is mildly soothing and helps with relaxation, as well as improving blood circulation. As for normal sexual relations, that is currently an unthinkable prospect.
Vaginal problems are just one of a range of negative outcomes of my cancer treatment. It might have been avoided if I had kept up to date with my cervical smear tests. I stopped going about 10 years ago, when a painful experience and menopausal body changes led me to develop a fear of anything gynaecological. It didn’t occur to me to ask for help, and help wasn’t offered. Unfortunately, every year one in four women in the UK fails to attend their smear test. Much more needs to be done to support these women: cervical cancer is often a profoundly life-changing, if not life-threatening, disease.
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