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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

My husband uses sex chatrooms and the sounds can be heard all over the house, though he denies it

My husband has his own bedroom and is addicted to sex chatrooms
My husband has his own bedroom and is addicted to sex chatrooms. Photograph: Phil Boorman/Getty Images

We are a married couple in our 60s with grownup children who come to stay. My husband has his own bedroom and is addicted to sex chatrooms. The sounds can be heard all over the house every night. He refuses to acknowledge this, and says it is all in my imagination. Should I leave the marriage now to protect the wider family, or wait for matters to be overheard by our children? (Friends no longer stay.) A counsellor has advised turning detective, but I feel ill with the worry of it all and have little energy left.

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments).

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